Sometimes, a relationship gets to that point where people forget they need to fight for one another because they’re so sure of their feelings towards each other.
We all get used to having someone next to us like they’re part of us, and there’s no way we can lose that part. But a healthy relationship requires both sides to continue to try and to work together so the connection will succeed.
We all need to feel some appreciation and to feel like we are loved and wanted. Feeling ignored, neglected, and unwanted are the most painful things to think about in a relationship, especially if we genuinely care about our significant other.
They say that the worst loneliness is the one we feel next to the person we love.
So, what now? You found yourself feeling lonely in your relationship? You found yourself feeling like you’re taken for granted? Or you just entered the relationship, and you want it to work out, to show him that you’re the one for him?
Do you wonder how to make him realize he needs you?
We gathered games and ways that can make him realize that you’re the one he needs and the One worth fighting for. Habits that will show him that he’s losing you and that it’s time he steps up his game to keep you around.
1. Show him that you’re more than just a body
You’re not just someone to keep his bed warm or to help him to get off. You have feelings, you have needs, same as him. Show him that you’re more than just an object in a house.
Instead of rolling around in the sheets, tell him that you need to talk about your problems and emotions. Show him that you two are best friends, lovers, and lifetime partners, not just fuck buddies.
Men tend to forget certain benefits of having an amazing woman beside them because they get so consumed by their fast lifestyle. But reminding them of having those things again will undoubtedly make them slow down a little bit and enjoy the moment.
Sit down with him and ask him to talk to you to listen to you. Show him that he makes you feel good and that you need his embrace to feel that again.
Tell him that you feel lonely and taken for granted and that that’s not what love is about. Show him that he can have good times with you, also. Bring him a beer and put on his favorite movie or game and watch it with him. Put on some music that reminds you of the time you just met and just enjoy it with him.
Bring him on a memory trip that would remind him of you two first being friends and then later lovers and partners. Remind him of the woman he fell in love with and the way he used to treat you. If he keeps on taking you for granted, maybe it’s time you return him a favor.
2. Show him that you trust him
One of the reasons men pull away is a lack of trust or feeling that there isn’t any of it in a relationship. Maybe he feels terrible leaving on business trips without you because he’s worried you’re pissed. Perhaps he’s not able to enjoy the moment because he sees shadows of jealousy everywhere.
Show him that he has your trust. Show him that you trust him with your body, with your emotions, with your fears. There’s no more massive bond than fear and hope. Sharing your most prominent emotions and horrors, alongside love, is something no man could turn his head away from.
Suggest that you two take a weekend away once he’s done with work. Or turn off your mobile phones and enjoy each other and the time you stole for you two. Spend the entire weekend cooking together, dancing, and making love.
Remember those times when you would spend hours on pillow talk? When was the last time you did that? When was the last time you opened up to each other? Use the getaway weekend for opening up to each other again and to strengthen the bond you share.
3. Make time for each other—not just you for him
Maybe he’s so used to having you around that he forgot that he has to make an effort so that things could stay that way. Next time he calls you, don’t answer. Take up a new hobby, meet new people.
Show him that he now has to fight to spend time with you, that you’re not a puppy who’d answer the second he calls your name. You are a person who needs to feel wanted.
Once he shows interest in fighting for you, work slowly on compromising. Sometimes there’s no easy way to show him that he’s losing you.
If he suggests that you two go on a date and you already have something planned, don’t cancel because of him. Show him that you have a life besides him and that you have people you care about in your life, that he is not the only one.
Instead, suggest that the date shift to another day or a couple of hours later. If you keep on making time for him, but he does it only when it’s convenient to him, there is no way he will stop taking you for granted.
4. Show appreciation
Just like you need to feel appreciated and loved, he needs that, too. But instead of the regular things you compliment him on, try to play it differently this time.
Say how you had no doubts about him succeeding with that project at work. Tell him how you love the way he makes you feel safe. Tell him how you can’t wait to have some time alone with him so you can enjoy his great body. How you need him to be close and to fall asleep in his strong arms because you’re feeling broken.
Show him that he’s appreciated that there’s more than one reason you decided to give yourself to him. How much you admire his work ethics and his mind. That he makes you feel good and that you want both of you to be happy.
Tell him ‘thank you’ every once in a while because we get so used to things that people do for us that we start taking them for granted. Maybe he feels like he’s being taken for granted, and that’s the reason he’s pulling away?
Just show him that you see his efforts and that you appreciate them.
5. Go out without him
You used to go out together all the time, but lately, you’re spending all your nights at home watching Netflix and sometimes (rarely, really) making love. If you want more, if you’re not satisfied with that kind of lifestyle, but you’re not ready to openly admit that to him, show him.
Go out without him. You wanted to watch that movie so badly, but he doesn’t feel like it? Go alone, go with your friends, don’t settle for staying home with him. You feel like clubbing, but he doesn’t?
Go, girl—you were clubbing long before you met him. Just show him that you don’t need him to accompany you everywhere; show him your independence.
Enjoy your life to the fullest, and keep in mind that you don’t need him to do that. Yes, it’s fantastic if he accompanies you along the way if he’s next to you when you’re happy, but if he ignores your invitations, make him come to you.
If he’s not interested in leaving the house with you, but he’s perfectly fine doing that alone with friends, show him that you can play that, too. If he still doesn’t respond, that could be a sign that something is up.
He’s either under pressure or depressed but doesn’t know how to open up about that. Or he’s seeing someone else. The important part is that you know that you deserve to be happy, even if it means being without him.
6. Show off your confidence
Confidence is not something we’re naturally given, and it’s usually easier to lose it than to gain it. But if you have it, if you’re working hard to keep it, show it off!
You love how your body looks in that tight dress, but you’re worried he might be jealous? Wear it, and if he doubts you, if he doesn’t trust you, that’s a different problem you have. But if he’s sure of your love, what could go wrong if you remind him how much of an amazing woman he has beside him?
What could go wrong if you show him that you’re still that strong and independent woman he fell in love with?
You have the opportunity to move forward at work, but you’re worried if he’s going to feel threatened by your salary and success? Darling, if you can handle the challenge that’s in front of you, you can handle him too.
Believe in yourself, trust your gut. If it feels right, do it. He will learn to believe in you, too, and maybe it’ll teach him to believe in himself. He will see the way you see yourself and get to fall in love with you on a whole different level.
If, by any chance, he decides that that’s too much for him and he feels threatened, do you need that kind of negativity in your life?
7. Let him take care of himself sometimes
Don’t run to his aid if he’s sick or if he’s having problems at work. If he said he could handle it, but he only needed to share that with you, let him do it. You’re not his mama to be around him all the time.
Let him iron his shirts once in a while or tell him you want him to cook you dinner because he’s so good at it. Little accomplishments can go a long way.
It’s important to remind him that you’re not a dishwasher, cleaning lady, and cook made just to serve him. We tend to go over the top to please people around us, and to make our men happy. But along the way, we forget that it’s essential that we’re so glad, too.
That our happiness is as equally important as anybody else’s, so, why not let him take care of himself sometimes? To take care of you? You must show him that you trust him with that, without guilt-tripping and anger, because men tend to be sensitive about being called ‘irresponsible.’
If you want to show him that you’re independent, why not give him the same chance?
8. Make the people around him love you
You and his mom get along just fine, and his dad thinks you are a gift from heaven? Great, half of the job is already done. Plan a weekend visit to his parents to remind him that they love you, and they think that you two look great together.
His friends think you are the best woman out there and that he’s seriously lucky to have you? Make sure he remembers that. Tell them they can watch the game at your place and bring them snacks, but don’t stay too long. Plan yourself a lady’s night, and enjoy it as well.
Show them all that you have a life outside the relationship—that’s something all men admire: women that are not needy and clingy.
If you already have a love of his people, but he’s pulling away, there could be something serious going on. Because, seriously, he has to be a special kind of moron not to see how amazing you are.
If he hasn’t reacted to any of the tactics you have used, then it’s time to sit down and address the issue. Neither of you is happy, and you have to do something about it—together.
9. Prioritize yourself and make him understand why that is necessary
Neglecting yourself, only to keep him satisfied and happy, is not the way to maintain a relationship.
He’s so used to having you around, so used to you taking care of him, that he does not need to take care of himself or your relationship because he still believes that you will do it.
Show him that you won’t, put yourself first. Instead of going to his parents for the third weekend in a row, go somewhere you always wanted to go, whether alone or with friends. Stop respecting his wishes if he doesn’t respect yours. If he shows you that he’s hurt, don’t add to the tension.
Calmly try to make him understand that you need that getaway weekend, that you need to have some time for yourself, and that you need to feel wanted. And right now, you don’t think that way.
10. Give him space
There are certain things men like to do alone or with their friends, such as watching games, hitting the bar, or going fishing (aka drinking beer and talking about their shitty lives).
This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he doesn’t appreciate your company—it’s just like shopping or spa days for us. That’s his time, and he wants to enjoy it without worrying whether you’re bored or his friends might say something that would hurt or upset you.
As much as you love him and want to spend time with him, you must give him space to breathe.
Spending every single minute of your time together will only lead to both of you getting fed up with each other and unnecessary arguments because neither of you has had the time to blow off some steam.
And trust me, that’s time vital to you as much as it is to him, which leads us to the next number.
11. Enjoy life outside the relationship
He needs to see that you do not depend on him, that you are perfectly fine on your own. It will make him curious about your time, the life you’re leading outside the relationship.
Take up a new hobby and make new friends who are not connected with your life and who don’t know your partner.
It will be an excellent opportunity for you to find a way to enjoy yourself more, to talk about things outside the ones you’re always discussing with him and your friends. You will find something new to indulge in, and it could wake up the passion and spark the fire inside you.
12. No more excuses
Making excuses for him, every time he screws up, and every time he hurts, you will only make him believe that he can take you for granted.
Stop tolerating his shitty behavior if there is any because it won’t get any better if you pretend that it’s not there. Show him that you have feelings, too, and that he needs to work harder around you.
If you are upset about him not helping you around the house or kids, tell him. If you’re confused about him taking your efforts for granted, tell him. He won’t remember it himself until it’s too late.
We all want to make our men happy, and we often forgive too many things because of love. But remember that it’s okay to love yourself, also. That it’s okay to leave if it becomes too much.
That it’s more than okay to demand the respect, you deserve. It will either make him give it to you and appreciate you much more, thus making him want to be around you more, or he will snap and leave.
Either way, it’s a happy ending. You will get the man you deserve or get rid of the one you don’t.
13. Show initiative in the bedroom
S*x is essential—not as important as the rest of the things on the list, but it still is. Be seductive and drive him crazy, tease him, and make him come back for more. If you’ve been doing it the same way for months now, switch it up. Get on top and show him who the boss is.
Get him on edge and get off until he begs for you to come back. Or completely deny him the act itself, but send him texts so dirty that he will lose his mind. Seduce him and play with him until he can’t take it anymore.
Show him what he’s missing out on, and trust me; he will put some effort into keeping you satisfied.
Play different games with him, such as leaving clothes from the doorway to the bedroom, so he knows what’s waiting for him once he enters the room. Or leave him a note that you’re hiding somewhere naked, and he gets to do with you what he wants, once he finds you.
Send him pictures of lingerie and ask him for his opinion on which one you should wear when he gets home, and once he does—wear none of it. Tease him in public, flirt with him with texts over business dinners or family gatherings. Show him that you want him right then and there and challenge him to take you.
14. Don’t let him always have things his way
This is not the 16th century anymore. We fought hard to accomplish the things we have today, and, damn, we’re still fighting like crazy. The time when a man’s word was the ultimate law in a relationship is long gone.
Show him that you’re having none of it. He wants you to go to the game with him, but you don’t feel like it? If he starts demanding that you go and try to pressure you into giving in, stop it immediately.
You have your own will and your personal needs. Tell him where you want him. If you want him to help with the kids, tell him. If you wish to him under you in bed, push him. He’s not that special to always have things his way.