It seems that the older we get, the more complicated the dating game becomes. Should we text? Should we call? How often? Who should initiate communication? It’s a virtual juggling act. One misstep and we can kiss that potential relationship goodbye.
Guys can be an enigma in the initial stages. So many are easily spooked when they detect any premature hint of commitment or, worse, clinginess. More often than not, the reality is we genuinely want to get to know them better. How can we get a guy to see that we aren’t only interested but independent as well?
Don’t be too accommodating.
When meeting people for the first time, we tend to put our best foot forward to make a good impression. The same goes for when we start dating a guy. The natural response is to answer all his texts and calls or agree to go out whenever he’s available, so he knows we’re attracted to him. But then, going out of your way to accommodate him and his schedule isn’t necessarily the best strategy. You’re allowed to be unavailable while still interested in a guy, so he knows you have more going on in your life than waiting for him to reach out to you.
The texting game
Of course, you want the guy to text first. As a rule, most guys aren’t into texting and won’t do it more than they feel necessary. When you do engage in texting with your new guy, don’t sabotage your fledgling relationship by reading too much into an exchange that takes place on a screen. For example, if he stops messaging you without saying goodbye, don’t take that personally. More than likely, he felt like he got what he needed from the conversation and has switched his focus to something else.
Typically, when men direct their attention to a specific task, they generally become engrossed in that one activity. Conversely, women can multitask, thinking about and performing a variety of activities all at once. With that in mind, we should stop trying to connect imaginary dots to figure out why he didn’t text back. He has just become distracted most of the time, so don’t get all worked up over anything. The best way to handle the perceived snub is to do nothing. There’s no need to give him a lesson in texting etiquette. At the end of the day, texting isn’t a personal form of communication, like talking on the phone or in person. Accept texts for what they are – a convenient way to quickly catch up with someone that’s rife with acronyms and emojis. You aren’t likely to keep getting texts if you’re going to dissect every exchange and confront him.
Men like the chase.
Common sense would dictate that ignoring the occasional text or not answering every call would send the wrong message. You want to show him you’re interested. How will appearing stand-offish get you any closer to this guy? You have to make the distinction between being rude and giving him some space. It’s okay to challenge him a bit by making him chase you. You don’t have to make it too easy.
This advice sounds incredibly old-fashioned in a day and age where women are more independent and aggressive in the dating scene. You’ll know when you meet the men who are drawn to this upfront style. However, as is the case with all transitions, there’s still a hefty segment of men who are strangely captivated by women who play hard to get.
Meeting men is the relatively easy part, especially when there are countless dating sites to choose from on the Internet. While single ladies in the USA can find a man, developing a meaningful relationship is the trick. Rather than fawning over him, fawn over yourself, so he will recognize what a catch you are!
“The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good health lies in successful adjustment to changing stresses on the body.” – Harry J. Johnson.