Ever heard of the term ‘the one that got away?
Basically, it’s used to describe a person with whom someone could have had a great relationship, but it all ended. A lot of people remember such a person. The truth is, there’s always a pretty specific reason why they got away. This isn’t an open case where you’re left wondering what went wrong for years. This is a pretty shut case because there was a reason regardless of whether it was because of you or because of them.
This article is specifically directed towards all the women who ruin potential relationships by doing some very unreasonable things. Not everyone is the same; these reasons might or might not be relevant to your case. However, they are a generalization of things women often do, so your reason might be somewhere along these lines. So, without any further ado, here they are:
1- Over-analysing the situation:
I personally know a ton of women who over-assess or overanalyze any situation they’re presented with. The problem might have been relatively simple to get over, but it turned into a huge mess because they over-thought the solution. When new love is blossoming, people tend to live in the now. They don’t think too much about the future and are more concerned with actually starting a relationship. Yet, some people tend to overcomplicate this.
Don’t get me wrong here; it’s a good thing to think of the future, but sometimes you need to focus more on the present. Instead of asking yourself, ‘when will we get married?’, try thinking of where you two will go out tonight. Everything has a specific time. There will eventually be a time to get married etc., but right now, that’s in the distant future, and it isn’t worth stressing yourself out for.
This does more harm than good at this point. Here you have a guy who’s slowly falling for you only to be driven away by you wanting so much more right now. Again, don’t get me wrong; there is absolutely nothing wrong with being upfront about all the things you want. However, you two aren’t even in a relationship yet! What’s the point in wanting so much right now?
2- Building a fantasy life:
We all have our own fantasies which we’d like to see come true someday. We have this wish that everything goes the same way as we plan it to go. However, that’s not how life works. In life, things may or may not go the way you want them to. For example, the guy you’re about to enter a relationship with might not be able to stand the humidity in Hawaii.
There are literally so many things that we plan that we overlook that the other person has their plans. In this case, you haven’t begun the relationship as of yet and have already mapped out your life ahead. Blossoming love is a beautiful thing. It opens up a world of limitless possibilities for us. What can happen or what should happen? The reason why is because things are going so well right now. We think that it’ll always be that way.
Like is only beginning, so we’re all they can see for now, and that makes us happy. It’s like, we think that they’ll automatically agree to have a cat. What if they’re allergic to cats? See, we don’t plan their side of things. Only they can plan that. Thus, your fantasy isn’t going to happen without a few interventions. Girls can drive away guys by telling them about all the different things they see the two of them doing before the relationship even started.
3- Considering it started before it actually starts:
Let me tell you how a relationship works: two people like each other and EXPRESS their feelings. The keyword here is expressing, i.e., an actual verbal declaration. Without actually telling someone who you like and them saying it back, there is no relationship.
You can think all you want that it’s as good as started, but it hasn’t actually started yet. Women can go wrong by thinking that it has begun without it actually having begun.
You can be as sure as you want about their feelings, and they can flirt, etc., but it hasn’t begun until you two mutually agree that it has. In fact, it comes as a huge surprise when they flirt with other girls even though it isn’t.
At this point, they can, or you can do the same, and it wouldn’t be a big deal. Yeah, after the relationship officially begins, you need to cut it out. Correct now? Not. So, driving a guy away by telling him how mad you are at him for flirting with someone else is wrong since he made no obligation to you.
4- Asking too many questions:
Is it a good thing to be cautious? Yes. Is it a good thing to ask unnecessary questions? Probably not. There’s a huge difference between being cautious and nosy. If you want to know about his family or his job then that’s normal, but if you want to know about his distant relatives right now without them having any connection to anything, it’s not normal.
There is a very distinct line between being in the right and in the wrong of things. So, even though I find nothing wrong in the healthy side of things, there is a limit to it all.