An Introduction to The Kama Sutra
Anybody who’s passionate about stepping their sex life up a notch (aren’t we all?), would probably have heard of the legendary Kama Sutra. It’s an absolute classic, having been written over 1700 years ago, it covers all you need to know regarding the discovery of unique sex positions.
Who doesn’t want to change things up a bit with their partner every now and then? It’s a natural human thought to look for ways to incorporate variety in every repetitive act, and that definitely includes sex. With this naughty little urge, one often finds himself buying a copy of the Kama Sutra with hopes of revolutionizing every single night ahead with their partner. However, not every suggestion or teaching of this book should be taken a saving grace – and this article warns you about exactly that.
Sex Positions You Should NEVER Perform
1. Turning Sex Position
Vatsyayana, the author of the Kama Sutra describes this position in his book as a man, while having sex standing up, spins around while staying inside the women without breaking intercourse. The lady embraces the guy the whole time with her hands around his back. Vatsyayana also adds that this position can only be learned through practice. However, we’re here to tell you why you really shouldn’t practice this one bit. In modern-day terminology, some may refer to this position as “the helicopter”, and the following are some reasons why this could be seriously dangerous.
Some actions just aren’t meant to be taken on by the human body, no matter how exciting or enticing they may seem. Sure, we’ve evolved through centuries by exceeding our comfort zones little by little, through miraculous examples of trial and error, but at no point in time was a penis supposed to work like a corkscrew while engaging in sexual intercourse, and yes, that’s what the ‘Turning Position’ promotes.
There’s this horrible medical condition called a ‘penile fracture’, and it definitely is a probable possibility for the guy who takes on this position. For those of you who aren’t so savvy with medical terminologies, a penile fracture literally means snapping one’s dick in half… Yeah, yikes. Even if the guy is an actual yogi, and even if he manages to pull this crazy feat off with his penis intact, there’s not much to gain from it. The girl’s insides are in danger if the guy gets a bit enthusiastic with the turning speed, and the man’s got to worry about making it out with a fully functioning penis. Yep, it’s a lose-lose situation.
2. The ‘Pressed’ Position
Here, the woman’s legs are bent with her feet pressed against her man’s chest area, with the man’s hands caressing and massaging her feet while having sexual intercourse down under.
Now you must be thinking that this seems pretty harmful, what could possibly go wrong? Well, before we even get into the technicalities, let’s just say it’s super awkward to begin with. It brings the girl’s feet into a place where they just don’t seem to belong during sex, and this may lead both the participants to feel like a strangled mess when you’re trying this position out.
However, the real risk factor involves ‘reflexology’. This position involves the man caressing and massaging his girl’s feet while they ‘do the deed’, but the study of reflexology suggests that feet contain pressure points that could actually impact the way human organs function, so tickling around with those during sex isn’t necessarily the smartest idea. Besides, you’re potential ‘almost’ tickling her feet, which wouldn’t necessarily feel too comfortable for her during sex.
3. ‘Yawning’ Position
Contrary to what the name of this position in the Kama Sutra suggests, this has nothing to do with yawning. This is when the woman raises both of her legs above and rests them over the shoulders of her lover, with her thighs spread apart.
This position allows the deepest possible sexual penetration that you could achieve through any of the tradition intercourse techniques. While that may sound appealing, it’s actually pretty dangerous, especially if you’re working with a considerably large penis. The average vagina is around 5 inches deep, and penises can easily be larger than that, which makes a ‘deepest possible’ intercourse worrisome. Tearing the vaginal wall is a commonly reported injury stemming from this, or in more serious situations, a ruptured cervix. Constant communication, with strict use of safewords, would be absolutely essential if you still look to engage in the ‘yawning’ position.
4. The Suspended Congress
According to the Kama Sutra, this is a position where the guy supports himself with his back against a wall and joins his hands in front of him to lift the weight of his girl sitting on his hands, while she winds her arms around his neck. She puts her thighs alongside his waist and moves back and forth by pushing against the wall behind him – Vatsyayana calls this the ‘Suspended Congress’ position.
In simpler words, it’s good old standing sex with a guy holding up his girl with an added twist of back and forth motion generated through the girl pushing her feet against the wall. Sound easy enough, eh? Well, for most men, that wouldn’t be the case in this day and age. Back in the 3rd century, guys used to be strong hunting hunks, and phrases like “Do you even lift bro?” didn’t exist, because they actually could perform this sex position without miserably failing.
Back issues are overly common these days with most of our office jobs involving sitting for 8 hours, and such a sex position would be the last thing you’d want to try if you even have a hint of a back problem. Additionally, sex obviously involves lubricants, whether it’s lube or just your bodily fluids. It’s super easy to imagine his hands getting slippery, and dropping his girl straight down. This puts her arms, and tailbone at direct risk. Steer clear of this position, people!
5. The Triumph Arch
This is one of those positions that you’ll know by just looking at its image in the Kama Sutra; that maybe you should skip this one. The girl has got to lay on her back, with her feet under her, yep. Even if you’re stretchable enough so that this itself isn’t a problem, the next step is to let your man ‘slide’ with his legs right under you, such that your head is over his feet. From there, he’s going to penetrate you while being able to kiss your upper torso.
As dreamy as that ending point may sound, you’re possibly not achieving this effectively unless both the partners are incredibly flexible. Once you’ve gotten yourself in the position, some serious core strength would be required to actually create some back and forth motion in the penetration, since you won’t essentially be able to move. Ironically, the real ‘triumph’ would be to be able to get yourself into the ‘The Triumph Arch’ without having to pay a visit to the hospital’s emergency room.
6. The Crouching Tiger
This position involves the girl to be super flexible, and incredibly sharp with her balancing abilities… So basically, a ballerina. To get into the ‘Crouching Tiger’ position, she has to be at the edge of the bed while essentially planking with her legs spread apart, bending at the waist. She supports her weight by keeping her palms and toes on the floor, while the guy thrusts her vagina from behind, possibly even leaning a bit on her.
It’s quite clear to see the problem with this one; essentially, the girl has to be Wonder Woman. By this, we mean she needs to have super strong thighs, the balancing skills of a flamingo, and the actual will to enjoy it all through this chaos. There’s direct danger of cramps through the strain you’ll put on your thighs, and God forbid if you lose your balance, both the participants would tumble to the floor during sex. Not necessarily a good idea, eh?
7. Biting the Sides During Intercourse
Kama Sutra encompasses detailed suggestions of how you could incorporate sexual biting into the intercourse to enhance the pleasure. It identifies numerous erogenous zones that the readers could try biting, and encourages this as an act of heightened bonding. Such biting suggestions also include ‘biting the sides’, which is specifically the matter under discussion here.
While playful nibbles here and there are obviously harmful, biting obviously has some risks involved, especially when it’s bring done around your genitalia. We’ve all noticed instances where our jaws clamp shut during orgasm, right? Imagine your jaw clamps shut while you’ve got your partner’s skin (especially sensitive areas) between your teeth, oof!
The Kama Sutra includes some super complex sexual orientations. Just by taking a little glance over some of the images demonstrated in the book, you’ll know that most of those positions are only possible to perform for actual ballerinas, gymnasts or advanced yoga enthusiasts. For those poses, it’s an obvious no-no, as they’d just be frightening to think of, let alone ‘sexy’. This article has listed down 7 major sex positions and tips from the Kama Sutra that you should totally steer clear of at all costs. We hope you find some amazing alternatives and keep bumping it up every night with your partner. All the best!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé