Is Sex Getting Boring?
Sex is an integral part of most romantic relationships and we all want to keep that fire that started the whole thing. You know, when you could barely have your hands behave or when you called out his name two-three times in a row. That’s fire.
As a relationship advances in years so does the dynamic of the relationship itself and you guys find yourselves too busy and too tired to put much effort into your personal relationship. or you just feel like you’ve explored everything under the sun.
One of the first things that are going to pay for your lack of ‘stocking the fire’ is your sex life. It’s barely non-existent and what’s little that’s left of it is a 3-second sloppy thing that you wouldn’t want to brag about to your friends. So, you’re thinking, where did the fire go? And most importantly, how can we get it back?
How to Talk to Your Partner about Spicing Things Up
Thinking about talking to your partner about your sex life, or lack thereof, might have you breaking into a cold sweat. Talking to your partner about said sex life, definitely much harder. We don’t like to broach the topic of sex because we fear ridicule, rejection or even repulsion from our partners and unfortunately society hasn’t made it very easy for us to talk about sex. Even in the 21st century!
Talking to your partner is going to take a lot of courage from your end, so you need to put on your big-girl panties just so he can rip them off later on.
i) Do not ambush him
Most sexologists recommend that you set him at ease by choosing a location that is neutral like when you’re out on a drive or when you are grocery shopping. The neutral setting will make him feel at ease and his mind will not go into defense mode. Make sure that you two are alone because it would be a little awkward to ask your man just how freaky he likes to get when you have a bunch of wailers in the back seat.
ii) Keep away from the bedroom
You never ever want to approach your partner to talk about how you feel like your sex life is a little lacking in romance and fire right when he’s in the middle of pumping away. Awkward! Or after sex for that matter. This will make him feel ambushed and he’ll go into self-defense mode and nothing will get solved.
iii) Make it a fun game
Both of you can have a little fun with it by making a list of all the secret fantasies you’re into. The things you like, what you don’t like and the ones you may be inclined to try. Compare notes and then talk about your lists and who knows, you might be surprised by the new freaky things you’ve both been dying to do to each other.
Adding Variety to your Bedroom Routine with these 3 “Things”
After talking to your partner and you’re both on the same page of wanting to have mind-blowing sex again, then it’s time to implement some new skills into your sexy-time routine. Some of these things you’ve heard about and maybe you’ve at one point or another tried them, but did you know there’s so much you can do with ice, hands, and cellphones that will have his member pulsing with the need to be buried somewhere deep inside?
Phone as foreplay
Cellphones are the way we connect with our loved ones and the world in general. Your phone is also a tool that you can incorporate into your foreplay by using the unlimited resources it comes with.
1. Send a naughty text
He’s just left the house for work or he’s somewhere across the room mingling and you can’t stop looking at how good his ass looks in those slacks and one thought leads to another and suddenly you’re scouting for all the places you can have dirty sweaty sex in. You don’t have to suffer through the horniness alone. Shoot him a quick text detailing all the things you’d rather he be doing and don’t feel shy either, he’s seen it all so be candid and then sit back and just watch him come undone with just a few choice words. Let him know you’re waiting for him at home in nothing but red bottoms and the pearls he likes.
Don’t know where to start with sexting? Check out our article below to find out more!
2. Send a nude
This needs to be done in moderation but if you trust your partner, then take a candid shot of yourself showing all the parts of you that you’d like him to work on. Add a little naughtiness to it by doing a theme like the sexy librarian or showing his favorite pair of heels and let him know that you’re ready to go if he is.
3. Phone sex
This is the sibling of sexting but much, much raunchier because you’ll be getting responses in real-time. When you utter those absolutely filthy words detailing how exactly you want him to take you, how deep you want him to go and how dirty you want him to make you, you’ll get such a response that I don’t even think you can handle. Just don’t ever laugh no matter how silly you think it is because that just might kill the mood before it even got started.
The beauty of using phones for foreplay is that he doesn’t even need to be there with you, you can get the response you want from so far away but you better be prepared because when he comes home, you’ll get exactly what you were asking for.
Set a romantic bedroom scene with scented candles, pillows lying around on the floor because you won’t be making it to the bed, or perhaps the kitchen island works too. You have a bunch of berries and chocolate and there’s a bucket of bubbly set in ice… Don’t worry about beds here, all you need is his body.
4. Kiss him with ice
Suck on an ice cube and then kiss him and pass the cube between the two of you. As the ice cube gets smaller, you can try hiding it in places where he can come searching with his tongue. The cool and warm temperature plus the tongue games you got him playing will let his body parts know what’s up.
5. Touch him with ice
You can use your hands here to trace an ice cube down his glorious naked body paying special attention to erogenous zones like his nips or his naval dip. Touch the ice cube lightly to his body and where the ice melts, bring your lips into play and suck him off. The temperature difference between the ice and your sensual mouth will definitely get him moaning and so tightly wound up, he’ll be going nuts.
6. Head downtown
Want him to completely lose his shit, try gently running a melting ice cube down his length and licking the water off with your tongue and just tease him like this, playing between his shaft and his balls and then put the ice cube in your mouth for a little while before taking him in. The stingy sensation of the hot and cold of your mouth will have him seeing stars, plus guys love blowjobs so you’re just taking him to another universe here.
7. Have him play with your boobs
Have him do something by placing ice cubes in his hands and then guiding him to your breasts and have him play with the outer edge as he zeroes in on your nipples or working and the valley of them. When stimulating your nipples he can suck on those little babies, alternating between hot and cold just like you did. Pure heaven!
We all use hands in one way or another during foreplay but most of us don’t know what to do, 90% of the time.
8. Touch him all over
Men like to be touched so take your time and run your hands sensually along his body. Explore his muscles and dips by running your fingertips in feather-light caresses.
Touch him on his sensitive spots like on the sides of his body or at his inner biceps and triceps or run your fingers along his scalp and grab his hair at the base of his neck. Touching him will make him feel wanted and adding a little pain into the whole experience will awaken the animal in him.
9. Give him a handjob
You know how you go crazy when he uses his digits to arouse you, he goes crazy too when you give him a proper handjob. Men generally prefer a firmer touch so don’t be afraid, grab his penis and stroke him with a little pressure.
Lube up your hands and clasp your hands together, your hands interlaced around his shaft then move them up towards the head in one long twisting motion and then back down. You can customize this move by gauging his reaction to the different techniques you apply or the pressure.
When he’s on the verge of coming, run your thumb from the base of the shaft on the underside up to the head. That will make it so much more intense for him.
Sex is one of the most important ways you can connect with your partner so you need to make sure that that topic is handled. Don’t always wait for the guy to initiate this process. Men are driven insane by a woman that can take charge do unleash your inner sex goddess and show him just who is boss around here.
Remember to always communicate with your partner so you are both on the same page but most importantly, have fun with your new tools and we know for a fact that your kitty cat will be getting so much action now.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé