Having a crush at work can seem like a fairytale but in fact, if not handled in the right way can turn into a nightmare. Although the bigger picture of having a crush is seemingly harmless, having one where you work can be quite detrimental. Everyone involved can feel the effects of severe repercussions as a result of an inappropriate work relationships. On top of this, it can snowball and even affect the company itself.
While things can go wrong, and very fast, there are ways you can effectively deal with liking someone, or someone liking you, at your job. Here are some in-depth tips on what to do and how to go about dealing with having a crush in the workplace.
How to Handle Developing a New Crush at Your Current Workplace
So, you’re at work and you see someone walk in that you have never seen before. You think about how nice they look and how you wouldn’t mind getting to know them. You then quickly snap back to reality only to get hit with the parade-raining memory….that you’re at work! What now?
1. Maintain Professionalism
It’s imperative you remain professional throughout a situation as touchy as this (no pun intended!). Doing so will ensure everyone maintains that rightful level of comfort and appropriateness. You are at work after all and maintaining professional demeanor is a given at all times. Apart from this, no one likes to be uncomfortable so you never want to make someone else feel otherwise and vice versa!
2. Appropriate Visual Contact Only
Most people don’t like the idea of being ogled or stared down in a sexual manner. Aside from being creepy, it’s just downright discomforting.
Of course, your crush is no exception. Refrain from staring at them when you see them walk by the break room, your desk, or while walking by in the parking deck after a late evening at the office(especially here!).
3. Create Rules or Boundaries
Developing rules or boundaries alone can help you greatly when dealing with a workplace crush. Whether your crush knows you’re crushing on them or not, boundaries will allow for discipline and respect in this kind of situation. It can also help prevent things from going also far if your crush happens to be crushing back on you. Just keep in mind “safe than sorry” if the name of the game!
4. Remain Steadfast and Focused
Always be aware of your actions towards your crush. If you’re in the same room during a meeting don’t continue to glance over at them. If their name comes up in conversation don’t suddenly begin gushing on how great they looked in that new shirt at work yesterday. Always be mindful of how you convey your thoughts about your crush during work hours….after also!
5. Keep Your Secret Safe
No matter how tempting, it might not be best to tell friends on the job about your crush. While you may be excited to let them know about the way you feel it can and more than likely will, lead to gossip and rumors. This could put you in the danger zone to being in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. This could further lead to the more “political side” of workplace conduct and well that’s simply no fun!
Advice on Developing a Work Crush on a Married Man
A crush on a married man is tough enough, but coupled with your place of work is a yucky recipe for disaster. Let’s talk about how to navigate the wild waters of having a crush on a married coworker!
6. Think About their Partners
Thinking about who they’re married to may be painful but it’s surely necessary. By reminding yourself about why it’s no good to crush on them in the first place, you will keep yourself out of trouble and prevent any potential harm on emotions for everyone involved.
7. Forget Your Fantasies
We all have fantasies about the ones we crush on. Those moments where we go deep into thought about the things we want with them, or like about them most. However, it’s best you just forget these thoughts and don’t entertain them in the slightest. Actually stuff them in a closet and throw away the key! This is just another destructive piece of this “bad crush” recipe puzzle. Doing so will only help more than hurt.
8. Don’t Tell Your Work Friends
Okay, this one may be very tough but it’s all for the best. A crush of this magnitude is definitely not one you can handle on your own BUT if you do need advice don’t tell any fellow buddies at work.
This can lead to the old telephone game where the end result is only a rumor that’s completely blown out of proportion. So, if you need to talk only tell your friends outside of work. You will have much more confidence that your secret will be safe and won’t find it’s way to drama-filled ears!
9. Try to Keep Your Distance
We all know work sometimes requires you to work closely with others especially when various projects and goals are involved. During those times, it’s especially essential to remain distant and professional when you can.
Nothing also chatty or involving outside of when you need to be. This also will help you to diffuse any physical tension you may have as well as decrease any potential flirtatious opportunities.
10. Think about the consequences
This piece of advice is especially essential. There are lots of consequences to acting in a situation like this. There are lots of emotions and people involved, which naturally will not end well. Never do before thinking, always think before doing!
Advice on Developing a Work Crush on a Guy but in a Relationship
1. Put Yourself in Their Significant Other’s Shoes
Would you like it if someone was determined to go after your spouse or significant other despite knowing they are taken? More than likely not. Just put yourself in their shoes and think twice..no…three times! Thinking of yourself in this situation will only lead to feeling hurt and an unhappy ending.
2. Don’t get Too Close to Them
In every aspect, don’t get also close. Staying away from them as often as possible automatically places a boundary between you and your taken crush. Don’t make any plans with them for after work, no small talk, and also no complimenting them (this especially!). All these things bring about good feelings that will be hard to shake. So just stay professional and don’t get also close.
3. Shift Your Attention to Someone Else
Ideally, it’s much much better to take an interest in someone who is not taken. The workplace typically involves lots of people which means there are single people who you can take an interest in. These other people may not be your crush but that is the good news, the best news. Looking into someone else would be your best bet and simply the safest way to go.
4. Pay Attention to Their Faults
Generally, it’s not good to point out the faults in others but in a situation, as harmful as this it’s absolutely necessary. Pay attention to things about your crush you may not like. Maybe they don’t iron their clothes each day, or they don’t cover their mouths when they sneeze.
Or maybe they are rude to others while on the clock. These may sound like such small things but it may show you what your taken crush is like, and help you realize even more the importance of snapping out of liking them.
5. Admire from Afar and Go Easy on Yourself
If you like someone who is taken don’t beat yourself up about it, it happens. It’s only when you act on it that further complicates the situation. Admiring from afar keeps the distance and also keeps things professional. So no negative self-talk and remember no acting on any urges or impulses, big or small.
Advice on developing a work crush on a coworker
It’s natural to have feelings for someone you work with. Actually, it’s sort of inevitable due to the nature of the environment. While it does indeed happen keep in mind their partners and also your well-being. Or if they are single, remember to keep things light and professional. It’s always better to be safe than sorry so no sudden movements or bright ideas.
If a situation with your crush at work seems also complicated it’s better to walk away, especially when lots of people and emotions are involved. The workplace is a very complex environment and it’s always better to make it as peaceful as possible by putting what’s best ahead of things that simply may not be for the best.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé