Loner: Do you enjoy being a loner or not?
Some of us are naturally introverted, while some can’t live without frequently socializing. To a specific type of person, being invited to a party is delightful news, but to the opposite kind of people, solitude is precious. Not all loners feel the same way about Loneliness – some are devastated by it, while some are loners by choice. For people who enjoy their company way also much, having to go to a gathering or a party might be a nightmare to think of. However, we’ve covered the state of Loneliness for different types of people in different situations. With these quotes, classified into particular scenarios and personalities, you’ll surely find some that perfectly relate to you. At least you’re not alone when it comes to being lonely, eh? So, keep reading!
15 Quotes on Loneliness
Being a Happy Loner
Happy loners are people who willfully embrace Loneliness and look forward to being alone in their room. Their private little space of solitude, absolutely free of any possible judgment from anybody, that’s priceless for them. Loneliness is perceived as an opportunity for self-growth by many people. After all, you’ve got to spend time with yourself to work on self-love, right? Here are a few quotes from the people of that sort.
1. “Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow Loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, a very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”
― Janet Fitch, White Oleander
2. “Fiction is one of the few experiences where Loneliness can be both confronted and relieved. Drugs, movies where stuff blows up, loud parties — all these chases away Loneliness by making me forget my name’s Dave and I live in a one-by-one box of bone no other party can penetrate or know. Fiction, poetry, music, deep serious sex, and, in various ways, religion — these are the places (for me) where Loneliness is countenanced, stared down, transfigured, treated.”
― David Foster Wallace
3. “I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, Loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel Loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidity themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”
― Charles Bukowski
4. “When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around Loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
5. “Listen: I am ideally happy. My happiness is a kind of challenge. As I wander along the streets and the squares and the paths by the canal, absently sensing the lips of dampness through my worn soles, I carry proudly my ineffable happiness. The centuries will roll by, and schoolboys will yawn over the history of our upheavals; everything will pass, but my happiness, dear, my happiness will remain,in the moist reflection of a street lamp, in the cautious bend of stone steps that descend into the canal’s black waters, in the smiles of a dancing couple, in everything with which God so generously surrounds human Loneliness.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Selected Letters, 1940-1977
Loner in a relationship
As ironic as it may sound, Loneliness doesn’t always fade away if you get into a relationship. Sometimes, people experience it even when they’re committed to a partner. It’s a state everyone faces even when you have a relationship. It can grow into a lack of communication, disagreements, and an imbalance of love between two people, or it can grow into courage, awareness to love and care, and emerging as a stronger person.
The way you handle Loneliness is how you will grow as a person.
6. “I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, also. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death, I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression, and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
7. “I’m tired of living unable to love anyone. I don’t have a single friend – not one. And, worst of all, I can’t even love myself. Why is that? Why can’t I love myself? It’s because I can’t love anyone else. A person learns how to love himself through the simple acts of loving and being loved by someone else. Do you understand what I am saying? A person who is incapable of loving another cannot properly love himself.”
― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
8. “That’s what Jamie didn’t understand: it was never just sex. Even the fastest, dirtiest, most impersonal screw was about more than sex. It was about connection. It was about looking at another human being and seeing your own Loneliness and neediness reflected back. It was recognizing that together you had the power to temporarily banish that sense of isolation. It was about experiencing what it was to be human at the basest, most instinctive level. How could that be described as just anything?”
― Emily Maguire, Taming the Beast
9. “The loneliness you feel with another person, the wrong person, is the loneliest of all.”
― Deb Caletti, The Fortunes of Indigo Skye
10. “Karou wished she could be the kind of girl who was complete unto herself, comfortable in solitude, serene. But she wasn’t. She was lonely, and she feared the missingness within her as if it might expand and… cancel her. She craved a presence beside her, solid. Fingertips light at the nape of her neck and a voice meeting hers in the dark. Someone who would wait with an umbrella to walk her home in the rain, and smile like sunshine when he saw her coming. Who would dance with her on her balcony, keep his promises and know her secrets, and make a tiny world wherever he was, with just her and his arms and his whisper and her trust.”
― Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone
11. “Occasionally, very occasionally, say at four o’clock in the afternoon on a wet Sunday, she feels panic-stricken and almost breathless with Loneliness. Once or twice she has been known to pick up the phone to check that it isn’t broken. Sometimes she thinks how nice it would be to be woken by a call in the night: ‘get in a taxi now’ or ‘I need to see you, we need to talk’. But at the best of times, she feels like a character in a Muriel Spark novel – independent, bookish, sharp-minded, secretly romantic.”
― David Nicholls, One Day
Loner at work
Not all of us are fortunate enough to find BFFs at work. Some have to just work with their own selves to get through a tough day at work, or any day at work, actually. You just can’t seem to find a good connection with another person, and the dull environment just keeps getting grimmer every day. In such a state, some people have expressed their Loneliness in the following quotes.
12. “Shrinking in a corner,
pressed into the wall;
do they know I’m present,
am I here at all?”
― Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure
13. “Loneliness is a hard thing to handle. I feel it, sometimes. When I do, I want it to end. Sometimes, when you’re near someone, when you touch them on some level that is deeper than the uselessly structured formality of casual civilized interaction, there’s a sense of satisfaction in it. Or at least, there is for me. It doesn’t have to be someone particularly nice. You don’t have to like them. You don’t even have to want to work with them. You might even want to punch them in the nose. Sometimes just making that connection is its own experience, its own reward.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night
14. “Loneliness in a crowd of people was the worst kind of loneliness, but she couldn’t help it.”
― Lauren Kate, Torment
15. “But most days,
I wander around feeling invisible.
Like I’m a speck of dust
floating in the air
that can only be seen
when a shaft of light hits it.”
― Sonya Sones, One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies
No matter which classification of Loneliness you fit yourself in, it’s incredibly essential to look for positives in every situation. We could all learn a lot from the “happy loner” group in this article. Not only should you work through Loneliness with strength, but also take lessons out of it and grow. A happy loner does this all while being genuinely content with his own self, enjoying the company of his own personality. After all, loving oneself is one of the most essential things that’s able to get you through anything in life. You simply can’t truly love another person before you fall in love with who you are. As the saying goes; you can’t pour from an empty cup, can you?