Fake orgasms; we all absolutely fear them. What feels worse than finding out your girl has been faking her orgasms all this time? Yeah, we can agree that almost nothing. But pal, do not let it crush you just yet! Yes, there is a solution, and we have got it right here just for you. All you have got to do is stay calm, not freak out, and follow all of our advice on this topic. Enough talk, let us just get right to it.
A common confession on women faking orgasm
Not all of us actually know it, but women faking orgasms is more common than you might think. It is actually freaky and quite scary. According to a recent investigation by the University of Kansas, 68 percent of women have on occasion pretended to reach the height of sexual arousal. The truth is that thanks to this, they would enjoy greater confidence, self-esteem, and physical health since they are the benefits of acting altruistically. And it is that increasing the pleasure of others without expecting anything in return is the main reason that leads women to overact in bed. Alongside the white lie, there are three other reasons of lesser weight, as revealed by a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior magazine.
Pretending a physiological reaction of such size is not an easy task since the cascade of sexual tension is not only accompanied by gestures, screams and jerky movements, but also by other uncontrollable body responses such as pupil dilation and skin redness…
However, there are many people, mostly women, who choose to exaggerate the sexual satisfaction sought by their lover, with motivations as unknown as the biological function of the female orgasm.
The lack of research in this regard led the team of scientists at Temple University in Philadelphia (USA) to look for the specific reasons behind this dishonest behavior. In their analysis, they consulted a sample of 481 heterosexual women between 18 and 32 years, all of them sexually active and given to simulate orgasms during intercourse or oral sex, about the reason for pretense.
1) Altruistic deception ”: pretend orgasm to increase the satisfaction of the couple and avoid worries.
2) “End the sexual act”: pretend orgasm to accelerate the male climax, as it is commonly considered as a conclusive point.
3) “Fear and insecurity”: pretend orgasm to avoid negative feelings of their own and camouflage sure sexual dysfunctions such as anorgasmia or lack of sexual desire.
4) “Increase their own excitement”: pretend because it is pleasant, exciting or morbid.
Based on the results, the authors of the paper affirm that faking an orgasm is not associated with submission, as traditionally believed, but quite the opposite, since it gives women control of the sexual act towards achieving calculated goals. You have learned quite a bit here, haven’t you?
Communication is key to enjoyable sex
Now that you know all about why and how women fake orgasms, we have got to talk about the solution to this feared problem. 2 words: sexual communication. Have you ever heard about it? I am sure you have but are a bit scared of what it implies. Am I right? Well, there is nothing to worry about, we have got it all figured out for you. Just keep reading!
Sexual communication is a very essential aspect in any kind of relationship since good communication in the sexual field will help strengthen intimacy and prevent things like fake orgasms in this case.
For there to be effective sexual communication, feedback is necessary. Unfortunately, many couples today find this thorny terrain and becomes a real obstacle.
Remember, communication does not have to be serious, strict or programmed, but it can take various forms and shades, taking place at the moment when you are more comfortable to do it, because after all, sex is something fun that You can share with another person, and talking about it is just the next step to enjoy it even more together.
Basically, it is expected that you two have developed the level of confidence suitable for talking about sexuality without repression. If you are here, it is evident that this is defiantly not happening in your relationship, as your girl might be faking orgasms because of the lack of trust she might have about telling you that she is not actually enjoying it. There is absolutely nothing to worry about if this is your case, just keep reading and you’ll see by yourself.
5 Ways to Talk to Your Partner When You Know She is Faking It
Alright, we have already talked about how essential is communication in any sexual relationship, and, if you are reading this, you have probably noticed that your girl is faking an orgasm, which is something that is not that nice to find out. Now, what should you do and how should you do it if this is your case? We have gathered 5 Ways to Talk to Your Partner When You Know She is Faking It just for you. Here they are:
1. Don’t be pushy about it
Aggressively encouraging a woman not to simulate orgasm is just as if a woman insists on a man to have an erection in the same way. It will just add unnecessary and unwelcome tension to an already tense situation. Instead, you can start a conversation on the subject and say, “Look, the most essential thing for me is for you to enjoy.” That will give her the chance to say, “In that case, do you mind if we use a vibrator?” Or any other suggestion that will put an end to her fake orgasms and will actually make her have real ones.
2. Express worry
Women are not complicated. It’s just that a lot of people don’t worry about asking what they are thinking. Fetishes, anatomies and sexual orientations vary, but the golden rule is that people like to have their needs in bed taken into account. Tell her that you care about her pleasure and not just about yours. Talk about how you feel much more relaxed if you know you don’t expect to have one at all times. I’m not saying you shouldn’t worry about it. Just relax and make her know that your pleasure is not a priority.
3. Put her first
Normally, in relationships, the talks about the most complicated issues come with time, so for now make it clear that you are interested in making her feel good, and not just that she comes “for you” and to make you feel great and accomplished. You can even say, “I know it is more difficult for a woman than for a man to come, have you ever felt so pressured by someone that you had to pretend? If she likes you and trusts you, she will be honest about it. You can tell her that you prefer to feel good and not end up pretending, but remember to keep the conversation about her pleasure, and not the increase in ego you need to get her to reach orgasm.
4. Take time for her
If not getting an orgasm is a problem for your girl, you should defiantly take some time to make this right and making her experience it correctly and not having to fake it. Talk about having an intimate romantic night where all the focus will be on her and making her reach an orgasm. Let her know that is everything that matters for you at that time.
5. Let her know she can tell you anything
When you talk about this problem between the two of you, it is essential that she knows that she can tell you how she is feeling at any moment and in any situation. Not only can she guide you and tell you what she likes in bed and how to make her reach the orgasm, but the things she doesn’t like and when she is feeling like faking orgasms again. Remember, it is all about stigma-free communication between the two of you, and she should know this 100% in order to not let any of these things happen again.
Fake orgasms; guess you understand what they are all about now, don’t you? We hope that you do not see this problem in your relationship as a taboo anymore. Now you know that it also happens in many other relationships and that there is no reason to worry or freak out when it does. It is actually quite easy to talk about and solve if you are both completely honest and true to each other, as we said before.
Now you know exactly what you have to do if you ever find yourself in this situation, so use all this information and tips in your favor! You will thank us later!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé