I’ve been cheated on multiple times in my life, and it hurt the same (if not more) every time.
This isn’t my first tango when it comes to cheating. I’ve written various articles on the subject, on various different occasions, because I’m a victim of cheating. I’ve been cheated on multiple times in my life, five to be exact, and it hurt the same (if not more) every time.
But the instances are sometimes different than they appear, some things can be forgiven and forgotten while some will leave a huge scar on your life forever. The “scar-inducing” thing I’m talking about right now is deception, yes, there’s something way worse than cheating, it’s being deceived. What’s the difference? Have you been cheated on or deceived or both? Let’s talk about it.
Here are the differences between being cheated on and being deceived by someone you love:
1. Cheating can sometimes be forgiven, deception simply can’t
Cheating can also be labeled as a “mistake” in most cases. If the person didn’t have the intention to cheat, it’s a mistake and they’ll do whatever they can to make up for it. While deception isn’t a mistake and it can’t be forgiven or forgotten. When a person cheats, he or she doesn’t want to but they just couldn’t control themselves enough to stop themselves from doing it (be it physical or emotional cheating), but deception is something far worse than a mistake, it’s something they’ve been wanting to do and weren’t happy until they did it. People who deceive aren’t even completely sorry for what they did, and they damn sure will do it again whenever they get the chance to. So don’t take this lightly, if you’ve been deceived in your life it means you’re a very emotionally-weak person and you need to be a better judge of character.
2. Cheating is a mistake, deception is planned
Cheating usually is a one time thing, a mistake no one wants to relive or talk about, ever. Deception is much more complex than that, deception is a purely pre-planned thing, it’s intentional in every way possible. People who cheat, often never forget their mistakes, this makes them a better person in the days and years to come because they just don’t want to make the same mistake again, but those who deceive aren’t like that, deceivers are never sorry for their actions, they don’t even mind going back to that “mistake” and reliving it time and again, heck, they don’t even call it a mistake, in their eyes they are usually justifying a wrongdoing of their past by hurting someone in their present. It’s just baffling!
3. Cheating is fixable, deception isn’t
Like I said, I’ve been cheated on multiple times in my life, but I’ve also been deceived twice. It was easier to heal from being cheated on, but being deceived was a horrible blow to my heart, it took me a good five months to get back to normal (and even then, I used to get random attacks of depression). There are a million questions that always revolve in your head when you’ve been deceived. “Why did it happen to me?”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, “I gave this person all of me and I got this in return?”, “Why is the world so cruel to me and only me?” etc. Someone who has cheated on you once will think a thousand times before doing it again, but someone who deceives you once will do it over and over again without a moment’s hesitation.
4. Cheating doesn’t have reasons, deception does
When someone cheats on you, they don’t have a lot of reasons or justifications in their minds because it’s a mistakes and mistakes aren’t justified with reasons. Deception is actually a very carefully thought-out plan with a lot of reasons. The reasons are so pure that even you will begin asking yourself if you’re just losing your mind or if the other person actually makes sense with their stories. Deception is backed up with such a strong story that it makes it look real, be very vary of who you date, because the person who deceived me seemed like the purest person I’d ever met, but she turned out to be a psychopath.
5. People who deceive are very smart and intelligent
Like I said before, deception is much more complex than cheating, it requires a lot of back stories and a lot of justifications to work, and the people who commit deception are pretty intelligent and smart. I’m not saying it’s a good thing and I’m not saying they’re good people, I’m just saying that they are smart enough to make you believe in their stories and they’re smart enough to make sense of their weird reasons.
Have you been deceived or cheated on?
I know almost all of you have been cheated on, at least once. But how many of you have been deceived? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive! And stay safe!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé