It’s for the elite, it’s scandalous, and it’s exhilarating – welcome to the mile-high club. The term itself is slang for people who have had sex on an airplane during a flight. Celebrities are members of the mile-high club, but, let’s face it, if you’re in a luxurious private jet, the deed is already a part of the to-do-list. But how do we, as regular individuals, even fit in an airplane bathroom? Is it safe and sanitary? We take a look at the crazy stories from both flight attendants who have to deal with encounters and the individuals who wish to check off an item in their bucket list.
Ever Fantasize Sex on the Plane?
Whether it’s the constant vibration of the plane or the fetish of having sexual encounters with pilots or flight attendants, fantasies of sex on a plane is quite common. We all know that the more taboo or forbidden the sexual act, the more exciting and appealing it becomes.
Then we have those that have chance encounters on the plane. We have a gorgeous man, sitting beside a woman who fits the description of his “ideal” gal, and the two immediately hit it off. The chemistry leads to increased sexual tension, and eventually, both find themselves wrapped in each other’s arms, legs, and clothes at the lavatory.
When celebrities such as Jennifer Aniston and Ellen Degeneres admit to being members of the mile-high club, it is no surprise that many become intrigued. We might not be able to enter the cockpit for some steamy sex like Jennifer (more on that later), but we’ll take what we can.
The Mile High Club
The mile high club, in short, refers to two people who engaged in sexual activity at an altitude of more than 5,280 feet (hence a mile high). It became tagged as a club because of the “members” who placed the activity in their bucket lists, successfully had sex while being a mile-high and joined the group of others who did the same.
6 Airplane Sex Stories Succinctly Summarized
An unsuccessful attempt filled with shame and blue balls.
“One of the mortifying moments of my life was getting caught doing this. My GF at the time and I wanted to try, so we booked seats on a red-eye, thinking no-one would pay us any mind. She went into the bathroom, and I joined her a minute later. I go in, and since we have been whispering about it and thinking about it for weeks, I am hard, and she is wet. I put it in and BAM BAM BAM, the f*cking stewardess, is banging on the door and saying “Come out right now! I know what you are doing in there!” We look at each other in horror, and I instantly lose my erection. We button ourselves up and skulk out to major stinkeye from everyone sitting nearby (several people were woken up by the stewardess banging on the door/yelling). Had to sit through the rest of the flight with blue balls and extreme shame. The stewardess pointed us out to the captain as we were getting off the flight.
This couple made it look easy.
Red-eye flight. It was before 9/11 happened, so flight crews weren’t nearly as vigilant. Lights went out. Everyone around us was asleep. We were spooning under a large blanket, and she lifted up her skirt. Achievement unlocked.
A couple who were lucky in every step of the way.
“Eight hours into the 13-hour flight from JFK to Dubai. After that much time in the air, the FAs are taking a break, and most of the people are sleeping. The bigger disabled lavatory is up near the flight deck of the A380. She walked into the lav and left the door unlocked. I waited a few minutes and then followed her in. After cleaning up, I walked out, and she followed a couple of minutes after that. The perfect crime.”
At least the flight attendant didn’t stop them
“I had snatched a few mini booze bottles for the flight. A half-hour into the flight, we each had one shot, which was apparently enough to get our juices a-flowin’. She got up for the bathroom, and I followed a healthy five minutes later, real inconspicuous-like. It was fast and super hot, got her from behind over the sink, and was done in like a minute. We decided it was best to not dawdle afterward, and she got out first, and I followed about a minute later. The flight attendant nearby noticed and said, rather defeatedly, ‘Come on, guys, ?’ Sat back down, watched Batman Begins, didn’t hear another word about it for the rest of the flight.”
A story from a flight attendant’s point of view.
“Truthfully, it’s hard not to get caught. However, it’s the couples who act casual that usually have more successful outcomes. During one flight, two passengers who did not know each other previously met in the back galley and struck up a conversation.
After a bit, we noticed that they both disappeared, and only one lavatory was occupied. At that point, we pretty much knew what was going on. One of the flight attendants said, “We have to go in there.” The other flight attendant and I both said, “Hell, no!” So, we all ended up doing rock papers scissors to see who would go in. She lost.
When the flight attendant opened the door, the passengers seemed nonchalant about what they were doing. They quickly got dressed, and both went back to their seats, which were not even near each other, and went about their business like nothing had happened!”
And now, Jennifer Aniston’s story.
The Friends superstar admitted to being a member of the mile-high club on the Ellen Degeneres Show. The two besties were playing a game of Never Have I Ever when Ellen dropped the question, “Never have I ever joined the mile-high club.” Only Jen confirmed. After the roar of the audience died down, she realized that she was the only one who admitted to the allegation.
Ellen pushed her luck further to get more details. “Never have I ever…with the pilot?” the host asked. “Oh God,” replied Jen, but she raised her ‘I Have’ paddle. “And the co-pilot?…and the flight attendant?” prompted Ellen. Jennifer kept her paddle raised. “…while eating a mini bag of peanuts?” Ellen asked, and thankfully, Jen finally placed down her sign. Whether or not Jennifer Aniston had a foursome, we will never know.
Should you try it?
For those who want to try their luck, below are a few tips from members of the club and even the flight attendants themselves:
1. Don’t even try to outsmart the flight attendants
The biggest mistake those who tried joining the club committed is they underestimated the flight attendants. They know what’s going on. It’s up to them whether to allow it, given that no one else is being bothered, or to bust your plans just because. Try to be calm and subtle, and maybe, they’ll turn a blind eye.
2. Remember your surroundings
For those who want to conduct some foreplay on their seats, remember that there are other people on the plane as well. There could be families beside you, and it is disrespectful to continue. Take note that sex in public is considered a punishable offence in many countries.
3. Time it well
Sex on a plane could not be achieved on a short two-hour flight. It needs careful planning and timing. Waiting until everyone is asleep on a red-eye flight (those scheduled to depart at night and arrive the next morning) gives you the best chances.
4. Prepare an excuse
As a general rule, two people are not allowed in the bathroom together, so have a credible explanation in mind like helping your partner with an emergency and showing a sanitary napkin as proof.
5. Wait after the drinks trolley pass by
If you are seated at the front of the plane and want to make things less conspicuous, wait until the duty-free or meal trolleys have passed by before making your move. This way, the flight attendants would be busy assisting the other passengers.
6. Don’t get your hopes up
Based on the countless stories of those who have had sex on a plane, we can conclude that the mile high club is more for boasting rights than enjoying the intercourse. So if you were successful at avoiding the flight attendants and made it to the bathroom, don’t expect also much from the actual sexual activity.
7. Upgrade if you want better chances
If it’s within the budget and you are set at joining the mile high club, then it would be good to consider upgrading to business class. For one, the bathrooms have a lot more room there, and if lucky, you could get upgraded to a seat with a fully-reclining double bed. Now that’s more like it.
8. Brush up on yoga in preparation
Seriously, an average plane lavatory is cramped. It is a logistical nightmare, at the least! Try doing it in a small phonebooth and add a toilet in between you and your partner’s legs – something like that. To be able to do anything interesting, you and your partner would need to have the stamina and flexibility of a yogi.
9. Bring cleaning products
The bathroom is one of the most bacteria-filled places on a plane. If you and your partner are ready to get down and dirty on a literally filthy location, then at least bring some hand sanitizers with you and wipe like crazy before you do the deed.
And there you have it, from the members and flight attendants themselves. It is completely understandable why the mile high club remains to be on the bucket list of many because it is not an easy task to pull off. Hopefully, the tips above would help those who haven’t changed their minds or dissuade those who were previously eager to become members.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé