If your girl has anxiety, she will try her best to not involve you in the emotions that eat her up all day. She will be anxious about more than just ordinary, routine things; her anxiety will make her more anxious and the thought that it might affect her relationship with you will be on top of everything.
What She Feels
Anxiety eats a person up like termites eat up the wood; slowly but wholly. Every little thing appears to be a mountain that, if not climbed by the end of the day, will fall upon her.
We all get anxious one or the other time about things that matter to us but when the extent of that anxiety increases, it takes more than just those few moments before going up on the stage or meeting our crush; severe anxiety makes us question everything and everyone around us.
With your girlfriend, if she is profoundly in love with you, will worry about a hundred things going on in the relationship but won’t be able to say it all in fear of annoying you. With anxiety, she will feel doubts growing in about everything: you, your love for her, her love for you, the relationship, the duration for which you two have been dating, the mistakes she has made, your behavior, the past, the present and especially the future. She will feel a sense of insecurity while thinking about the relationship.
Do you actually love her? Is she still as likable as she was to you when you started going out? Is she doing everything right? Are you happy with her? Does she annoy you? Should she stop talking so much or talk more? Or should she give more time to you so that you do not leave her? We all worry about these things a little but for your girlfriend with anxiety, these are all mountains she has to climb before they fall on her and crush her under.
Why She Needs Your Aid
You are the closest person to her and she evidently relies on you more often than not, so you have got the key to making her get better, to help her climb those mountains. All you have to do is direct her to the correct stones and keep telling her that she can do it.
It has to be you pulling her up and motivating and encouraging her at every step because what do her anxieties revolve around? Mostly around your relationship with her; her days and nights are spent worrying and fretting over the fact that you still love her.
She needs your help more than anyone else’s because to her, you are the person standing beyond all those mountains; you are the person she is doing it for. The result of overcoming her anxieties will be a happy life with you and that is all she wants.
So be the person pulling her up because if you let her go and decide to leave her amid the climb, she will fall so bad her bones will break. Would you want to see her crushed beneath the weight of everything that you could have helped her move?
How You Can Aid
If you know she has anxiety and you have seen it sucking the life out of her, you have got to help. You can help her leave behind the dark pits of loneliness and insecurities by constantly reminding her about the good things in life. How is she lonely?
When anxious, she tries to keep her worries to herself to not worry you. By asking her to let everything out and talk to you, you can help her a great deal, just to start.
When she has started to ward off the loneliness, deal with her anxieties by firstly discovering the things that make her panic. When she opens up, tell her that it is all okay and that you are there for her no matter what. Reassure her of your love, tell her again and again that, more than anything, you are committed to staying by her side, that you still like just as much and always will. That and a dozen more things like that are all she needs to hear from time to time.
It will not always be about the relationship or you, it can be anything. Did she leave the stove on? Did you keep the keys? Is the baby going to be warm if we take him out? Do you think the neighbors will like us? Am I dressed appropriately for the day?
Do you think my boss hates me? Dinky worries like these need your reassurance too. You are the person she chose to be with for so long, you can tell her you want the same by helping her get over her abstract no-big-a-deal conundrums.
She is likely to apologize a lot for small things. A little deadline she was not able to meet will freak her out and she will be begging you to not be angry even before you have reacted to it. You have to tell her that she does not need to be sorry, that it is okay to make mistakes.
She wishes to team up with you. She wants you to be her go-to person when it comes to talking to the pizza delivery guy because it gives her social anxiety to talk to strangers. She wishes that you exchange such chores with her; it is all very easy as long as you are willing. If you think she should get over her anxiety, stand by her side as she talks to strangers to add to her confidence. She loves you so your slight touch on her shoulder while she deals with people will encourage her.
More than anything else, she wants to keep what she has with you. Therefore, tell her that no problem in the whole wide world is bigger than the two of you. Design her belief in you, herself, and the relationship.
Talk to me
Does your partner have anxiety? How do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below!