How to know when to dump your friends?
Friends are the best people that you share your life with. From sharing sweets to secret affairs; friends fill the spaces in life that no one else can. No matter how close you are with your friend(s), there comes a sure point in life when you no longer need or want them to be part of your life.
Dumping a friend isn’t easy. The time of parting ways can come suddenly or it can take you quite a while to come up to this conclusion that this friendship isn’t going anywhere. Breaking up with friends can leave you heartbroken or once and for all you will feel at ease depending on your relationship and reason behind the breakup.
It is hard to decide when to dump a friend. It can take you seconds or from days to years to finally get rid of a friend who isn’t a friend anymore. Whether you have grown up together or became friends quite recently; annoying habits, mismatched likes and dislikes or rough attitudes can build a wall leading to an eventual split up. The time is right when you see no future with that friend. Mentioned below are 8 major reasons to dump a friend and make your life better.
8 Reasons to Dump Friends
Friends are the best part of one’s life. Whether its childhood, teenage or adulthood; it’s the friends that you share the best moments of life with. From play dates to kitty parties and adventure trips to crazy hangouts, friends make every moment worthwhile. Whether you expect it or not, the friendship can go downhill even after years of sharing the bond. From immaturity to life-changing habits including drugs and abuse, there can be several reasons for dumping your good old friend and moving on without them in your life. Here are 8 reasons that can be considered genuine to get rid of a friend for good.
1. They are not there in time of need
There is a famous notion, “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. A true friend always reaches out when you need them. They are always a call away and make themselves available no matter how busy they are. You know it is time to get rid of a friend when in time of need; they are not there to offer a shoulder or hand. Taking a serious step on the first incident won’t be a wise decision but if this is happening for a while, you should consider parting ways with your so-called friend who just comes when he needs you.
2. They are not keeping your secrets
Over a period of time, you share secrets and stories that you have not shared with anyone except for a friend who is very close to you. Hearing those secrets from people other than the friend means they’ve been talking about you behind your back and telling your secrets to others. In friendship, breaking trust is a big NO-NO. These betrayals leave you questioning your friendship and when such a point comes; breaking up becomes a necessity. Whether you asked them to keep something secret or casually shared something; if it was between just the two of you, they have no right to share it with anyone else without your consent.
3. They think and act negatively
Friendship is not about just fun and good things. Friends share good moments and pick each other up when one is down. Like every other relationship, friendship sees ups and downs and you get to see who the true friend is during the darkest hours. If during the bad days, all your friend says has a negative impact on you; it’s about time you consider dumping them. Thinking and behaving negatively have a very bad effect on people you share your life with. You stop seeing the light of hope when all you hear from your friend is pessimism.
4. They are draining you emotionally
Friends share your happy moments and emotional turmoil. You feel light-hearted and relaxed after sharing your feelings with friends. They hear your concerns, give you advice and uplift your morale. Not all friends are like this; some boost you up and some drain you completely. Toxic conversations, negative attitudes and anti-social behaviors can be a reason you have become distant with your friends as no matter how close you are, anything that brings you down emotionally and makes you feel drained should be avoided altogether including your friends. No one wants a negative influence and freeing oneself from an emotionally draining relationship is a necessity.
5. They are backbiting
Of all the evils in friendship, backbiting is the worst. They are good in your face but talk bad about you with other people; you are better off without such friends in life. A true friend will always talk about your good qualities with others. They will portray the best version of you when they describe you to people around them and help you correct your mistakes while they are with you. A bad friend, on the other hand, will do the exact opposite. Backbiting is a genuine reason to dump a friend.
6. They think only about themselves
A friend who only thinks of himself, his needs, his, desires and his life should be left at the soonest. Selfish friends are a burden and you need to get rid of this burden at the earliest.
It is said that “some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you, once their needs change, so does their loyalty”. This notion is true for friends who are selfish and don’t care about anything except for making themselves happy.
7. They are jealous of you
Jealousy shows in many ways. If your friend always disapproves of what you wear, how you walk, what you eat and who you meet, it means they adore everything about you but are jealous of you. Jealousy can ruin years of friendship if it takes a pathological form. Having a good car, a better spouse, a nice house and a job better than your friends can be a few of many reasons to make them feel jealous of you and behave in a weird way. Getting such vibes from close friends is a sign that it is time to part ways with them.
8. You are not compatible anymore
You become friends with someone if you share similar likes and dislikes. You can laugh at the same kind of jokes, have the same interests and similar kinds of unpleasant situations make you unhappy; friendship like this survives several years. There are chances of friends growing up differently in a way that you are no more compatible with your friends. You can have different tastes and have altogether opposite personalities that do not align and hence parting ways become inevitable.
How to end friendship without hurting the feelings?
Breaking up or dumping someone isn’t easy. Whether you are emotionally fragile or strong-hearted, breaking up can be painful and depressing. Here are a few ideas that will help you in dumping your friend without hurting their feelings:
Don’t break up over a phone call or a text message
It is always better to meet the friend in person and tell them why you can’t continue being their friend. The unheard and unsaid things pile up and take the form of hyped emotions which isn’t good for anyone involved.
If you want to break up with a close friend; think it through and plan everything ahead. Think about all the possibilities about how they react and the justifications they could come up with for their specific behaviors.
Start preparing them mentally
A surprise breakup can have serious consequences. Some people are not strong enough and sudden news of breakup can result in emotional and physical reactions. To avoid any unexpected situation, start leaving signs and messages of an eventual breakup.
Don’t be harsh
Since you are cutting ties with your friend for good, there is no need to be harsh or cruel. Use a softer tone and choose your words wisely.
Be clear about the reason
No matter how difficult it is, tell your friend the actual reason for the breakup. Don’t use lame excuses and vague statements to support your decision. It is better to end up a relationship with no misunderstandings or false hopes.
Life is beautiful and everyone gets to live it once. Every person has a right to have people around him who help him make the best version of himself. Friends being a major part of a person’s life should be chosen wisely. If by any chance you have made a friend who is not what you thought him to be, it is better to end the friendship as soon as you start getting signs. Not only will you feel better, but your life will also get on a better track which offers only joy and happiness; because you deserve nothing less.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé