5 Questions To Ask When Preparing For Marriage
Marriage is one of the most beautiful and unique steps that you can take to cement your relationship. As much as it has its share of misfortunes, marriage is a rite of passage that many people assume to be essential and a symbol of their relationship’s longevity. Before committing yourself to this bond, you have to be sure that the person you are getting married to be the person you want to spend the rest of your life without hesitation.
If you are thinking about committing your life to another person till death do you part, it may help contemplate some issues that can frequently drive you to the edge in your long term relationship. That is why you need to ask these five questions when you are preparing for a wedding.
1. How do we individually and collectively handle stress?
You ever wondered how your partner reacts to stressful situations like being stuck in traffic or when they haven’t had enough sleep for days? Often the romantic period of the relationship doesn’t shed much light on such issues because you are trying to put the best foot forward. This makes the early days sweeter, but it denies you a glimpse of what your partner is like under pressure. Marriage life can bring a lot of pressure, especially when you are both are fond of each other. It is even more essential to know how you collectively handle stress together. Whether you isolate, retreat, bottle things up, or connect to solve things together.
2. What are our thoughts about having kids, and how sure are we?
This is another common issue that can lead to huge misunderstandings if not settled right at the beginning of the relationship. Everyone has their opinion about whether or not to have kids, which should openly be discussed and clarified before getting married.
3. How much do we involve other people in our relationship?
When getting married, you should set grounds on how far it is also far for how much private business should be spread to other friends and family. Keeping an emotional intimacy with friends and family can be a good thing, especially for those in a controlling relationship. There is no right or wrong answer regarding how much information you share about your relationship because that depends on both of you. The more you are on the same page, the better off.
4. How are things in the bedroom?
When some couples may choose to wait until after marriage before becoming sexually intimate, it is essential to have the conversation to bring you to a mutual understanding. In the early stages of the relationship, sex usually is adequate. For many couples, sex patterns seem to change with time. That is why it is essential to discuss sex drive, attitude, initiations, etc. between the partners.
5. How will we handle our finances?
Money plays a significant role in our lives, whether married or not. It is a crucial element that can either bind or break relationships. From different spending styles to how big a house to buy, these issues can cause conflicts if not addressed when preparing for marriage. Money is tied up with all sorts of physical, mental, and even emotional importance. The more you talk about it, the more honest you will be with each other, building a better foundation for your marriage.
Recommended Books on Marriage All Couples Should Read
1. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
This is one book that has helped many couples survive marriage. It is one that helps teams understand each other and communicate more clearly with each other.
2. Toxic In-Laws by Susan Forward
Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage
This book is a must-buy for anyone who is dealing with over-controlling in-laws. While you can’t change them, reading this book with your partner will teach you some coping mechanisms and communication techniques to help you reclaim your relationship.
3. Marriage Rules by Harriet Lerner
Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up
Just think of these as marriage tips. There are over a hundred rules which are written in a way that is logical, practical, and easy to digest. Reading this with your spouse will initiate some conversations that can help set guidelines for a successful marriage.
4. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
This book is filled with advice and questionnaires and exercises that you can do with your partner. These may help you improve your relationship both as a couple and improve your friendship also.
How to Prepare For Marriage Physically
Before you get married, you have to strengthen the marriage even before it starts. It is not advisable to dive in without building a foundation for your marriage life. It is essential to know your spouse’s interests and likings in the early stages of your relationship.
1. Establish your principals and accept each other’s differences. You also need to understand each other’s feelings regarding different issues.
2. Find a mentor couple that is older and more experienced to provide wisdom and support you as you are about to begin your journey together.
3. Start thinking of “we” instead of “me” because when you get married, you enter a partnership, and it will be of great help when you start being a team earlier.
Learn to communicate effectively and efficiently. This skill involves speaking respectfully and non-reactive listening. Communication involves both verbal and non-verbal communication, such as body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
How to Prepare For Marriage Financially
A long and happy marriage needs to ensure that you are in a healthy financial state to avoid later misunderstandings.
1. Build an emergency fund to overcome the tidal wave of incoming expenses that arise with getting married, such as buying a house and babies. Having this will save you from worrying later in your marriage.
2. Know how much each of you spends in a month. This will help you plan out a budget and know where you both can cut back or invest in. In doing so, you will be cultivating for a healthy marriage, and you can spend your life together in a positive way.
3. Consider your debt situation. Before getting married, you should pay up your debts to avoid bringing financial baggage to your spouse. You do not have to be debt-free, but the amount should be manageable such that it doesn’t act as a constraint in your marriage. You are also supposed to discuss it with your partner before wedding to both be on the same page.
Emotional Preparation for a Marriage
Marriage can be a too rocky terrain if you are not prepared for it. Some things can happen to shatter you emotionally, so it is always essential to be emotionally prepared before getting into marriage.
1. Understand that change is bound to happen. Since change is inevitable, you should be ready to accept it when it happens. When you know this, it will be easier to cope and, in turn, make things easier.
2. To avoid being emotionally hurt, you have to understand that both of you are different and unique. Learn to respect those differences, and sooner or later, you will find the beauty in your partner’s uniqueness.
3. Learn to communicate with your spouse to express your emotions. Don’tDon’t bottle up what you are feeling because you will be making one-sided judgments. Communicate and understand each other’s point of view.
Conclusion
Being at a point in life where you are looking forward to marriage is breathtaking. You should enjoy every minute of it. Before getting married to the partner of your dreams, take time to get yourself prepared. There is no rush into it. Plan for your marriage life long before the marriage takes place. Understand the kind of person your partner is and learn to appreciate their differences. Accept their shortcomings and learn to communicate with your partner. Take time to develop the essential qualities, cultivate the necessary skills, and know to ask the right questions. This is the work of a lifetime, but the good news is that you don’t have to be perfect in everything to get into the game.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. Important Tips For Marriage Life
