You need to stop trying so hard.
If you have been on more than one dates with your partner and are still confused about their feelings towards you, then following are the signs you need to look out for. Someone who takes you seriously and sees potential in you will never leave you wondering. This should bring you some clarity and help you interpret the mixed signals..
1. They are always busy
Nobody is busy ALL THE TIME, if your partner seems to be busy every time you call them or try to make a plan with them, then there’s something not quite right. Either they’re trying to avoid you or you are WAY down in their priority list, if they truly like you, even if they are the president of some state, they’ll make time for you, if the person doesn’t like you enough they’ll never make adjustments to their schedule to fit you in, something else will always be more essential than hanging out with you.
2. The Ex-factor
If your ‘person of interest’ talks about their ex unceasingly, on how they miss them or even if it’s about how bad the relationship was, it means that he or she has still not moved on and is emotionally hooked to their past at some level and you might just be their rebound, this is a huge red flag. While you plan your future with them, they might be using you as a distraction as they try to move on.
3. There is on and off communication
If a person likes you, they try and keep the communication strong, they’re scared of losing you. But if they take two days to reply to your text and when you try asking them the reason, they act like everything in the world is alright and that you’re over thinking, you probably aren’t. Don’t keep accepting the excuse that they missed your call or didn’t see your message etc; we all know that in these times of technology you only miss a message when you want to. It’s just that they don’t give you enough importance, you’ll always be essential to a person who likes you won’t leave you hanging and they’ll always get back to you in time.
4. Your conversations are hardly meaningful
When we reveal things about our self to someone, we are letting them inside our world, our life, making our self vulnerable. We are putting our guard down. A person who doesn’t see any potential in the relationship will neither be interested in your life nor will they expose their life to you. All you guys talk about the weather and how good the coffee is. You know about them but don’t know them. There are no significant conversations because they have it in their mind that this won’t last long, so why put in so much effort.
5. Their body language
Actions speak louder than words, don’t we all agree? If your partner doesn’t make eye contact while talking, doesn’t laugh at your jokes, has their torso facing away from you or generally maintains a distance then their body is telling you loud and clear that they’re not that attracted to you. This could also be other way as well, that is, if you guys have nothing but physical chemistry, and you normally don’t connect on any other level, or they seem to get bored when you’re not getting physical, never trying to hold a proper conversation.
6. They are ‘not ready for commitment’
A person who keeps suggesting that they’re not ready for a relationship, they’re trying to build their career or trying to focus on themselves; only means that they don’t want to give you any hopes and lead you on, a person who is all about you won’t make excuses and will just be with you. If they don’t want to commit but also want to keep you ‘around’ maybe just as an option, then stop settling and wasting your time, unless you’re a no-commitment person too.
7. They don’t go public with you
There is no sign of you or your relationship on any of their social media, I’m not talking about posting a series of pictures, but every now and then there has to be at least some mention of you. Also, if they don’t acknowledge being with you in public and they always try to keep you away from their friends and family even after you’ve been together for a while, then you need to hold their interest question.
8. You exist only after midnight
Do you try getting in touch with them all day but only hear from them later at night and its usually ‘your place or mine?’ or something similar, which looms around sexual interest? Unless you are dating a vampire who is physically incapable of seeing you during the day time, a person who calls you only when they are physically needy then it’s evident where you stand with them, don’t expect any serious progress.
9. They’re generally flaky
Excuses, excuses, excuses. All you hear from them are a ton of excuses on why they didn’t call when they said they would, or why they cancelled last minute, or why they didn’t take you to their office party as a plus one and they don’t try to improve on it, it’s a norm and they expect you to be okay with it. If you face a lot of cancellations, do yourself a favour and stop buying all the excuses.
10. You’re confused
We have been blessed with a sixth sense, which we often choose to ignore. We give the person benefit of the doubt, making excuses for them and reassuring our self that it’s all in our head. When you are with a person who gives you mixed signals, you will always find yourself confused and wondering, going back and forth from loves me to loves me not. So, save yourself the heart break and trust your instinct.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé