How to Deal With a Boring Husband (And Make Things Exciting)
People change. Sometimes it feels like you’re married to someone completely different after years of marriage. Your fun-loving, out-going, witty husband became the boring, logical, stable guy that frustrates you. It’s not like it’s terrible to be durable and trust-worthy. It just…lacks the excitement, and the flames start to dim away.
Sounds like your dilemma? Don’t give up just yet. There’re plenty of ways to ignite the flames and make things exciting again.
1. Give hints to new activities
Don’t accuse him of being boring even though you may be wanting to say it for long. Putting it out there like that doesn’t solve the issue and will only root the seeds of dissatisfaction. You don’t leave him with much of a choice by telling him he is boring. Even if he wants to initiate something, he is so used to this lifestyle that it will be hard for him to come up with something that satisfies you.
You must at least have an idea in mind about the activities you want to do. Give him hints that this marriage hasn’t been as exciting as you’d hoped, and that it will be great if you could do sure things together. Remember to drop hints only without accusing him of anything.
2. Prepare some surprises
Get some roses on the bed, prepare a nice dinner, and pick a movie for date night. Wait until he comes home like it’s a typical day and surprises him. Be the first to initiate. Show him it’s fun to plan something to surprise your partner in the sweetest ways possible.
3. Take initiatives
Don’t sit and pout all day long; try to take the initiative and talk to him, suggest some fun activities to do together. Never scream or yell at him because he is not doing what you want. Be brave and patient to take up the initiative for a fun relationship.
4. Learn to enjoy activities by yourself
Don’t underestimate the power of learning to enjoy some alone time. Sometimes we put our expectations and hopes so high that whatever the other person does, we are still disappointed. If we could take a step back to look at things from a broader perspective, we can see that a lot of times, it’s not the other person’s fault, it’s just that we are demanding also much.
You never know if you’re one of those people unless you try to take some time off, be by yourself. Learn to spend time alone; once you get the hang of it, you will see some alone time is fun, and you will stop complaining that your husband is boring all day long.
5. Introduce him to fun friends
Watch and learn, watch, and learn. That’s always the key to success. You still have a few fun friends around if you’re an exciting person. Pick a few friends that you like for their fun personality traits and introduce them to your husband. Plan some group activities together, make them spend some time together so your husband can learn from it.
How to Deal With a Lazy Husband (And Make Him Do Some Work)
So what happens now if your husband is lazy and won’t share your chores? That’s pretty selfish behavior and the subtle definition of gender stereotype. Wives are supposed to do all the tasks while husbands sit and enjoy. Well, it shouldn’t be like this in the 21st century. For whatever reasons that your husband is lazy, it needs to change.
It’s not easy to go up to someone and tell them they’re lazy without them getting offended. Here are a few things that you could do to avoid an awkward confrontation while achieving the results you want.
6. Give him a list of tasks
Some people need their guidelines and instructions written in black and white to follow. Yes, it isn’t enjoyable, but it’s just how some people function. They can’t do things the usual way because they fail to see the importance of doing something if it’s not written down or have a checklist on it.
Write down some tasks that you want him to do and give him the list, also drop him the deadline of when things needed to be done. Don’t try to make it complicated. Give ten tasks each time, and when he is done with the ten tasks, he will get a nice treat.
It sounds a lot of dog training, but it works. You instill the idea that as long as he helps out, he gets rewarded. It’s a great way to get his ass moving and also lower your workload.
7. Clearly divide up the workload
A clearly defined role in the household avoids arguments so much better. Work on a schedule. Either one person is in charge of grocery, and the other is in charge of cleaning at all times, or you switch roles every week or so. The most advised is to change roles every once in a while, so you don’t have to hear the arguments like “oh your work was so much easier than mine”. Drawing up your duties forces the other person to take up his share of responsibilities, whether willingly or not because it’s his job.
Divide up the workload equally and fairly because both will get the chance to do it. Try to make it like 50% per person as possible. This way, no one is upset at their role, and you can avoid having arguments because everyone is doing their shares of work.
8. Set up a punishment system
Whoever forgets to do his or her tasks will get punished, it could be a nice dinner somewhere or a surprising romantic date after work. The punishment doesn’t have to be big, but it has to be sweet.
9. Give incentives
Besides punishment, incentives are also excellent at keeping your hubby good at his job. Let him know you will give him some goodies every time he does something for you. This incentive scheme is healthy and good for the relationship as it’s very positive.
10. Set little goals to achieve
Use a gradual plan to allow him to adjust slowly. Start with one cleaning day every two weeks, then move it up to once a week, twice a week, etc. Suddenly increasing the workload could be hard to adjust for him. Take it slow and gradually move it up, so it feels more comfortable and acceptable.
How to Deal If Your Husband is Both Boring and Lazy
11. Try a couple therapy
Couple therapy works better than you’d think. It’s not awkward or embarrassing, but rather, you get to channel all the negativity out in the right way. Your husband may not be boring and lazy by heart, probably some other marital problems are going on, and that’s why he is acting this way.
Sit down with your therapist to talk out things and seek a solution together to keep this marriage happy and alive. Your therapist is the best option to sort things out before he is technically an outsider, yet he knows how to be objective and fair to you both, so none will have hard feelings. He will be the mediator and not accuse one of you of the problems of your marriage.
12. Be more authoritative
There are times to be friendly and there are times where you just have to stand your ground. If he is both lazy and boring, he is counting on you to make this marriage fun and exciting, which is wrong. You need to tell him upfront that his concept is wrong and that he needs to change his part for this marriage to work out.
It takes two for a marriage to last. Let him know the consequences if he continues to behave this way. Tell him this marriage will not last if only one is trying. There’s no reason for him to rely on you to make this marriage fun. He needs to man up and take up his responsibility and actually put effort into making this marriage alive also.
Having a lazy or boring husband surely is no fun. They can make you go crazy at work even just thinking about what they did. It’s difficult to tell someone they’re being lazy and boring, especially someone you love, and you don’t want them to feel bad about it. Still, you want them to change.
While there may not be a perfect solution to solve this because some people are just born lazy or boring, you’d think you can change them, but the truth is, you just can’t change someone. With that said, there are still ways you can make the situation a lot better and more tolerable. Follow our tips today and try to work things out with your husband, so your marriage is spicy and saucy again!