When you first start dating someone, and you are trying to turn this connection into a permanent commitment, there are a few things that you could be doing wrong.
Here are seven things that you should be doing differently.
1. Don’t talk about your ex
No one likes getting to know someone who is hung up on their ex. Even if according to you, this is what sharing is about, draw a line. Constantly bringing up someone from your past, is only seen as still having feelings for them and might be uncomfortable for your significant other.
2. Avoid bringing in baggage from a previous relationship
We all have our insecurities, but you don’t need to wear them on your sleeve. Neither do you need to put them onto your new budding romance. Remember, whatever the last person may have done to you and no matter how much it hurts you, you need to deal with that pain yourself. It’s okay to share and seek emotional help, but you need to come to terms with it on your own.
3. Don’t be someone you’re not
Be yourself! Do not change who you are to tick someone else’s boxes. You are perfect just the way you are and deserve to find a partner who understands the real you. Otherwise, this connection won’t be real.
4. Don’t make your world about your partner
Yes, you are excited about this new relationship; however, don’t make your bond the only bond you pay attention to. Design time for your friends, family and your work. Unfortunately, some relationships don’t always work out. Don’t let any specific thing own all your energy. All the things in your life make up for who you are, and they deserve an equal amount of time and love.
5. Don’t act indifferent
Don’t play it so cool that you forget to show you care. Everyone wants to be with a supportive, empathetic person. Be there for them when needed. Most essentially, always remember to be a friend. All great relationships start here.
6. Don’t try to change your partner
Don’t try to fit them into your box either. If you want to see if this can be a long-lasting relationship, you have to take the time to understand them. If you happen not to like what you see, you can walk away. But don’t try to change someone. Ultimately, if they are not who you want them to be, then you should be with someone else.
7. Do not make life-changing decisions
No matter what happens, do not uproot your life at this stage. When people make such decisions, they make it together far down the line. In the beginning, you both need to be on the same page and see if this is a bond that allows you to feel understood and one where you think that you can grow and evolve together. Do not make rash decisions to commit to anything too quickly that could change your life overnight for a person you are not even fully committed to yet.
Ultimately relationships need to be healthy, and if you truly want that, then you need to be the healthiest version of yourself, first.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé