Love, you don’t need this kind of negativity in your life.
Through my own experiences, I have learned that you can predict a person’s true nature by understanding the tell signs that you notice initially. More than seeing, you actually believe them because many times we are so much in love that we consciously make excuses for actions and habits that don’t make sense to us. We often push ourselves in taking our partners to be perfect when in reality they clearly aren’t. It is of utmost importance that you differentiate between things that can be avoided and things that are a huge red light and shouldn’t be avoided at any cost.
My past relationship, which I dragged for three good years, eventually broke off because of all those little habits and reactions/actions that were alarming in the future. I was taken for granted, I was abused, I was insulted, and was being cheated on. I regret not paying close attention to those times that tried to show me the true colors of my ex. If only I would have paid some heed, I wouldn’t have lost a lot of time on him and a lot of time recovering from what he had done to me.
So, here are a few signs that should help you see your partner in a new light. If you see these tell signs in your partner, be careful. Don’t straight away act on it but don’t completely disregard it either.
Save yourself the misery and try to be in a relationship where your partner has the least of these qualities.
1. When they judge
People are different from one another. No one should have the authority to pass a judgment over someone, especially, when it is involving you and your partner. If you feel that your partner is always messing with your head by always acting on the judgment he makes of what you tell them about yourself, get yourself out of the miserable position.
A true relationship when you can show your partner all your scars, all your demons and not feel like Oh I shouldn’t have, what will they think of me?’.
2. When they snap at you in public, too often
When your partner starts to fight or argue with you in a way that it turns more into a showdown in front of other people, it is evident that there is a lack of respect and without respect, there is no real relationship. You have got to respect your partner to be able to love them.
The problems that you and your partner have, need to be solved or even fought over behind closed doors. If someone is not intelligent enough to keep their relationship with you dignified regardless of what you two are going through then you shouldn’t expect any kind of understanding and respect from them in anything else.
3. When they are nice to people to their faces but change completely when they aren’t there
You experience this thinking that they are like this with everyone else but you cause you are their partner but sorry to break it to you, a person’s personality remains the same with everyone. They might not be like that with you, initially, but they will eventually start to show their true selves. You don’t want that kind of two-faced people in your life who will leave you second-guessing every move they make and everything they say.
4. When they try to gain sympathy all the time
Such partners will ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS bring up their miseries when you tell them something that’s going great in your life. They will always compare their mishaps with your so-called perfect life. Their own problems will always seem bigger. This is the most twisted experience anyone can ever have. With such people, there will always be something bigger and something worse happening to them. They don’t like the fact that you steal the light with your problems in life.
They will often treat your problems like they are nothing big and that you are just making a big deal out of it but when the same thing happens to them, they themselves will make it into the most catastrophic thing that could ever happen to anyone. Well, they are a catastrophe themselves and, trust me, you don’t want it in your life.
5. When they don’t have a constant in their lives
As small as this issue might sound, it is extremely essential and is one of the greatest tell signs of how the person is. Every NORMAL person needs a constant in their life, whether it is a family member or a friend, a hobby, or a passion. A constant shows your partner’s ability to be consistent with his/her commitments and relationships. Someone who doesn’t have any constants in life will soon start to show you how he cannot honor a commitment or a promise they make with you.
6. When they avoid “the future talk”
A person who doesn’t talk about the future is probably planning to not be in it. By future I don’t mean marriage, always, it could be a few months from now or a year but someone planning things for the future, with you, shows how much they want you in their lives and to what extent do they see this relationship going.
Listen to them carefully when they talk about the future and observe if they truly follow up on that plan or are they all words. These simple observations can save you a lot of heartbreaks, tears, and time. I am sure there are plenty of other tell signs but you get the point of actually paying attention to such tell signs when they start to show themselves.
Talk to me
Do these signs match with a person you’ve been with? How did you deal with it? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!