Have you been in a one-sided relationship?
Ever been so in love that it made you lose perspective? You got so carried away that you didn’t even realise if your partner was anywhere near you. It may be difficult to notice these things, but they’re for your own good. You need to know how your partner feels about you and if you’re not going insane for someone who’s simply not that into you. Hard to realise, even harder to accept and exponentially harder to walk away from.
Here are the ten signs of a one-sided relationship;
1. You’re responsible for making plans
Even though you both are a part of the relationship, it’s somehow your job to make all the plans. You’re the one checking with them for what suits their schedule and working something out to fit in a date somewhere. Not only that, they’re not interested in choosing a place or an activity. You’re left to do whatever you please. They’re just not as involved in anything.
2. You’re always there for them, but you can never rely on them
You always make time for them, because they’re a priority. If they need you, you never fail to show up. You’d go to any length for them. But when you need them, they’re nowhere to be found. They take you for granted.
3. You’re not comfortable opening up to them
Emotional closeness comes from being vulnerable with each other. Telling each other those deep buried secrets. And making each other feel protected and even more loved for that kind of honesty. If you feel that you sharing intimate details with them gives them some kind of leverage to use against you, your partner can clearly not be trusted. You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t make you feel safe, and whom you can’t share anything impo
4. They’d rather be doing something else than spend time with you
You evidently can’t be together all the time. You both have lives outside of the relationship and should keep up with them. You need to spend time with each other as well. In fact, you should want to do so. However, if your partner makes you feel that being with you is more of an obligation rather than something they love doing, maybe you should free them of all their obligations. You wouldn’t want to bother them right?
5. You have to apologize for every single thing
They absolutely love you at your best, but when you’re in a difficult place, they tend to kick you when you’re down. You’re not allowed to feel down, or mad, or hurt or even tired around them. If by some chance you feel a little differently, you better apologise for it. Because you should only act the way they’d like you to. You shouldn’t have to put up with that, no one should. Everyone has bad days, and there is nothing wrong in sulking for a bit. And if they actually cared, they’d try to make you feel better not make you feel even worse.
6. Even talking to you is also much to ask from them
Not like you’re eating their brains all day long. You have your work, or studies, or chores, but you make at least a little time to talk to them. It could be a short text or a quick call, but you want to talk to them. On the other hand, it’s apparently very difficult for them to respond to your texts or calls, let alone contact you on their own. It’s not something they want to do, but rather something they have to do.
7. You can’t help finding faults in your relationship
We all tend to reflect on our relationships, it’s not something we choose to do, but we do it all the same. And it’s a pretty good way of knowing where you stand. But when all you ever conclude is that something is just not right, and it needs to be fixed, there is only so much that you alone can fix. If they’re not up for it, it won’t work. It’s their ignorance that leads to such insecurities and doubts, you shouldn’t have to be in a relationship that keeps you stressed all the time.
8. You think a million times before asking them to go somewhere with you
That concert you can’t ask your friends to go with, or that romance flick you’ve been meaning to watch, or any of the boring or lame things you’d want to do just for the sake of doing them. They’re supposed to be your fail-safe person. When everyone else says no, you go to them. But if you can’t even go to them, then who else.
9. You constantly need to justify your partner’s behaviour to your family and friends
Your friends and family always question the way your partner treats you, and you always end up making excuses. They worry that if your partner isn’t respectful or considerate of you around other people, they must be worse when it’s just the two of you. If they love you and care for you, their behaviour should reflect it and should never have to defend them in front of anyone.
10. You try to involve them in your life, while they make no such efforts
Despite how your family or friends feel about your partner, you still try to make them a part of your people. And instead of returning the favour, they don’t even act interested in any of your endeavours. They’d rather not know more about you than they already know. And they’re very private about their life as well. You don’t know much about their family or friends and they don’t make any efforts to change that. There’s always some sort of lack of connection between the two of you.
Talk to me
Are you or have you ever been in a one-sided relationship? What made you realise it? Was it anything on this list? How did you deal with it? Do let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé