Fix it before it’s too late.
This is for people in broken relationships. Relationships that stand on such weak grounds that you don’t know if you should give this another try or get out of it. A broken relationship is like a deep wound that is a result of constant blows to your soul and heart, unintentionally and at times, intentionally. It is a hard decision but don’t ever give up unless you’ve tried to make it work from every way possible because you don’t want that guilt to linger on after you have broken up. At times many relationships are fragile just because that’s the way they are. It could be a union of two extremely sensitive people or two extremely strong-headed people. So, at times, a few little changes can help you save that relationship.
1. REMIND YOURSELF OF THE PERSON YOU FIRST FELL IN LOVE WITH
You and your partner were not always like this. Remind yourself of the way your partner was, the way you fell in love with them. Over the period of time, small things condition us to adapt and change. Remember, these changes are a result of incidents and external factors in your relationship. Find that faith in your partner again. Believe that there is still the same amount of goodness and love in your partner than when you first met them. Try looking into the past, try reminiscing the old times and maybe go on a few dates. Spend some time with him/her where you met the first time.
Reenact your first date. Talk about the good old days and look at pictures. Just sit down and talk. As we grow older and as more time passes with our partner we start feeling comfortable and as we feel comfortable, we begin feeling as though we no longer need to try anymore. So put some effort into it. Flirt around a bit and tease each other in good humor. Try to make the relationship work by going back in time. Treat her like you did in the beginning of the relationship. Treat him like you did in the beginning of the relationship. That way it won’t come to an end anytime soon.
2. STOP FIGHTING, START FORGIVING
You have been fighting for so long and nothing good or positive has come out of it, ever. Your relationship has just gotten worse. All those bad words, hurtful statements and raised voices will only act as those blows that I was talking about. It’s time you stop all of that. Now that you are trying to find the same faith in your partner, forgive them. Know that your partner didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s time you forgive them for hurting you so you can actually work on the things that have damaged to your relationship. Have an open mind when it comes to mistakes. Yes there are some mistakes that are unforgivable but don’t drag the relationship on and make them feel like trash. Don’t guilt trip them at every chance you get.
Next time there’s a misunderstanding, or if there’s a problem or a fight, keeps quite even if your partner doesn’t. Be water when they are fire. Balance each other out. Don’t explode. Hold calm and think for 10 seconds. Get her/him some water and once they realize you aren’t interested in blowing out your lungs over something miniscule or over something that can be solved calmly, they will step down too and the day will end on a much better, less exaggerated and probably a lot less worry filled note.
3. IT’S TIME TO COMMUNICATE
Most of us in relationships don’t realise that many issues can be resolved with the right kind of communication. The right kind of communication is when you keep all of your other issues afar from the current situation and address the problem in simple words. Remember not to use a statement that, you know, might offend your partner. Another essential action that needs to come into play is to show support. Whether you agree at first or not. Have the patience and courtesy to listen to your partner, even if they are wrong, hear them out and then clear things. Most fights are usually just simple misunderstandings that develop into bigger and badder things.
Don’t freak out if they say they want to go skydiving, or if they want to go n a spontaneous trip to Vegas with friends. Calm yourself and then reason with them. Don’t knock down their ideas or their desires but try to compromise with them. Give each other reasons when you stop each other from doing one thing or another. Miscommunication always leads to misunderstandings. They might think you don’t want them to go for a completely different reason then what you actually intended. You might not intend to make them think like you’re stopping them out of spite but they might think that way.
4. COMMIT YOURSELF AGAIN
Reassure your partner that you still love them. No one in this world can tell your partner how much you love them. Not their friends, not your friends and not even this article. The only person who has the power to reassure this to your partner is YOU. Disclose them that you are ready to let go of the things they did to you and ask for forgiveness for the things you did to them. There is no ego when you love someone. Don’t think that asking for forgiveness makes your point any less essential. When you forgive your partner and ask for forgiveness, you are allowing them to let go of the things they have been holding on to. Don’t have pride, don’t think sacrificing something for the one you love is too much to ask for, and don’t think crying for them or asking them for help is a pointless meaningless act. You aren’t weak in their eyes if you shed a few tears.
And if they see you shed those tears and comfort you, it won’t help you alone but it will give them a sense of reassurance that you love them as well. That you care about them and trust them enough to show your true emotions when you may have difficulty showing them off to others. Venting out in front of your partner is a great way of being able to distress. As long as it doesn’t hurt your partner in any way. Display your emotions and make them understand that regardless of what mistakes they make or you make in the end the one and only person you’d wish to see at the end of the day is them and not anyone else. Design them trust you and make them love you.
Commit to your partner. Take them out on dates and make them feel special. Don’t make wanton and empty promises. Be physical be emotional, just be together and be consistent. No yelling one day and asking for forgiveness another. Mistakes happen but if they’re as often to make you have to beg for forgiveness more than 3 times a week trust me when I say you are definitely not upholding to the promises you made. In the end, try to find the spark and the love you both had in the beginning of your relationship. Trust me; it is not that hard if you put your mind to it. We have all been there, I have been there and I eventually learned the hard way so I know it’s easier said than done. But, Hey! It’s worth a try; your relationship is worth a try.
This is a small world you two have built and while many are unable to keep it as stable, this doesn’t mean that yours will be one of them. You have to try. Love isn’t just a feeling, love is a choice. You choose to make it work. You choose to make an effort. You chose to have a relationship. And you should now at least give it a second chance. Don’t take drastic measures and just think of all the effort you put in to simply make this relationship even come into existence, it wasn’t all for no reason. You obviously saw something in each other before hence you lasted this long.
Give yourselves a chance and don’t be too harsh on each other.
It won’t be fixed in a day. You will probably have to work hard, take it extremely slow and just have a heart to heart. Don’t jump the gun. Don’t think too fast. Just help each other remember their past selves and help each other evolve better. To be in a successful relationship you need to have two individuals mature enough to want to be a part of it.
Have you been in a broken relationship?
If yes, how did you come out of it? Did you manage to fix it and bring it back to what it used to be? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé