When was the last time you scrutinized your relationship? Are you actually happy with how it’s going or are you just keeping up with it for the sake of it? We become so habitual of sure things that we never even stop and think them over. When it comes to relationships; so many of us tend to believe that over time things are bound to change. It is true; but that doesn’t mean that the feelings should fade. You should feel equally happy in your relationship even after years from when you first started out.
Following are a few signs that tell you it’s just not the same anymore (stop ignoring them!);
1. They’re suddenly more annoying:
Lately anything they do or say just ticks you off. And by anything I mean anything! Even if it’s insignificant, you just seem to lose it. Although you had no trouble overlooking the little things previously, you just can’t put up with them anymore. You may force yourself to believe that it’s due to them or they’ve changed in some way; but maybe it’s because you just don’t feel the same way anymore.
2. Those little displays of affection seem to have completely vanished:
Remember how you had this constant urge to hold them and kiss them for no reason? You no longer feel it. You might convince yourself that it’s normal and it was going to happen eventually. In fact; even if they’re the one being affectionate towards you, you don’t like that either. You don’t want the embraces or kisses or even the hand holding to last longer than necessary. You couldn’t get enough of them at one point and now everything feels a little too much. Wake up already! Something is actually wrong.
3. Out of sight; out of mind:
Initially you wanted to spend most of your time with them; this has gradually changed for no apparent reason. Sure you need your space; but that doesn’t mean cutting them off completely. Even if you’re not together, you’d normally long to be together. If not; you probably don’t want to be together at all. The distance doesn’t bother you anymore and you don’t feel the need to keep in touch either.
4. You keep yourself occupied, ALL THE TIME:
Be it work, or some class you’re taking, or your friends or a hobby; you never seem to have time for them. When you’re done with your excessively busy schedule you naturally need time for yourself. And you don’t even feel guilty for ignoring them. You’d rather be busy with your life than having to deal with them.
5. The term privacy has lost all meaning to you:
The things they might’ve once told you in confidence have become a public affair. It could be their deepest darkest secrets; things they themselves have trouble dealing with or any number of things. You find nothing wrong in sharing them with your friends. After all; your friends are the people you share everything with, it doesn’t matter if it’s something regarding your partner. The privacy of the relationship no longer remains.
6. When thinking about the future; they never cross your mind, not even once:
Not only did you fantasize about the future with them; you’d even discuss it with them. But you’ve grown out of these fantasies now. You don’t see them in your future; near or far. They’re just there; and you don’t even know for how long. To make matters worse; it doesn’t even matter to you anymore. Life for you is going to go on (indifferently); with or without them.
7. You’re attracted to other people way too frequently:
This should be a clear indicator of your lack of interest in your present partner. It’s natural to appreciate an attractive face; but anything exceeding that is pure trouble. When you’re in love with someone; you can’t imagine anyone else taking their place. You’re never distracted by anyone else even if it’s someone exponentially better than your partner.
8. There are more arguments than conversations in your relationship:
You can’t have an open, honest conversation without arguing with them. Emotional conversations get too emotional and you almost always end up making things worse than they previously were. Civil conversations have become scarce. You can’t speak your heart out without offending them in the fullest.
9. You just can’t let go of anything:
People make mistakes; so do you and so does your partner. You used to let go of the little things, but it’s getting pretty difficult lately. You hang on to every little thing they do wrong and give them a hard time about it; making each other’s life a living hell.
10. They don’t make your priority list:
Your acquaintances are more essential to you than your partner. You’d make time for everyone but them. They’ve become the least essential in your life even though at one time they used to come first.If you’ve noticed any of these signs in your relationship, you should probably think long and hard about the whole thing. Try fixing things if they’re fixable. And if nothing works out you have some difficult decisions to make.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé