Relationships are fragile. Even the strongest of relationships, at times, can get shattered. Many internal and external factors are responsible for breakups and ruined relationships.
Most of the time, both the partners don’t even understand what went wrong. After a breakup or after a serious fight, many such questions keep on buzzing in the heads of both the partners:
Why did this happen?’
What did I do wrong?’
What did just happen?’
What went wrong?’
We need to take responsibility of our actions, attitudes and behaviours. We must identify what went wrong. We can only learn from our mistakes once we identify them.
Let’s have a look at the most common mistakes that can destroy a perfect relationship. Try to avoid these relationship traps to save your relationship and make your marriage a success.
1. Criticism Is Poisonous For Relationships
We all dream of an ideal life partner. But the fact of life is – no one is perfect. It is not always possible that our life partner comes up to all our expectations perfectly. Criticising him/her for not doing sure things or for not doing a thing in a sure way is a big mistake, a mistake we make more than we should. Instead of appreciating their efforts, we keep on criticising them consciously and unconsciously in routine life.
Alternatively: We must acknowledge and appreciate efforts of our life partner. We need to compromise on some things in our daily lives in order to save our relationships.
2. Proving Yourself Correct
Communicating with your life partner if you are focused about proving yourself right then you are simply ruining your relationship. Discussions and talks that are more towards proving who is right and who is wrong are just relationship failures.
Alternatively: Communicate to connect with your significant other. Don’t focus on proving yourself right, rather, aim at resolving the core issue. Both partners should concentrate on the problem and should talk to convey their message and thoughts.
3. Being Overly Nosy
Every individual has a right to personal space. If you are after your life partner all the time; chasing him/her wherever he/she goes, being inquisitive about his/her activities, then you will suffocate your partner in this relationship. Being overly nosy not only irritates the other partner but this behaviour will ultimately draw them away from you.
Alternatively: Both the partners can experience a fulfilling relationship while enjoying their personal space at the same time. You can have some time alone with your own self and should also give this breathing space to your life partner.
4. Failing To Balance Between Work And Family Life
Being dedicated to your profession and career is a good thing. But compromising your personal life in the pursuit of your career is one common mistake many of us are making these days.
Alternatively: We should learn to keep a healthy balance between our work and our family life. Both the partners should understand and accommodate that there can be irregular working hours or work-weekends. But this should only happen occasionally. We must strive to maintain a balance between professional and family life. Priority should be your loved ones, always.
5. Blaming Your Life Partner
Playing the blame game all the time is never acceptable in any relationship. Accusing your significant other all the time for his/her actions will draw you apart from your partner.
Alternatively: Try to handle situations maturely. Avoid putting all the blame on your spouse. Consider rationally about your actions and try to figure out if your attitude, actions or behaviour were involved, at any point, in aggravating the situation.
6. Refusing To Say Sorry Even When You Are Wrong
Not taking responsibility of your mistakes and blunders effect relationships badly. To err is human, but if you are stubborn and not accepting your mistake and its consequences, then you are going to doom your relationship for sure.
Alternatively: Act maturely. If you have hurt your partner, made a mistake or blunder, just say sorry. Take responsibility of what you have done. Apologise willingly. Maturely express your regret and try to make up for your mistake.
7. Being Stubborn
Sticking stubbornly to our own perspectives is one common mistake that we all do at some point in life. For relationships, this is one big ruining factor. We lock out any input from our spouse’s side and just focus on our perspective of things.
Alternatively: We should never be stubborn in relationships. Try to be flexible. Be open to suggestions and advises of your partners. If you want to make your relationship healthy and successful, you have to open your heart and mind for others.В
8. Never Actually Listening To Your Significant Other
This is so common that we don’t even realise we are doing this. We pretend that we are listening to our spouse but in reality we are either too busy doing our own thing or preoccupied with our own thoughts. And one poorly timed yeah’ or uh huh’ can end up into a big heated argument. The fact that you don’t actually listen to your life partner is one big mistake.
Alternatively: We must realise that there is a difference in hearing and listening. You might hear the sound of your life partner, but you never actually listen to what they say. So be attentive when they are talking to you. Open your ears and mind while you are in communication with your significant other. Display them that you truly value their every word and every thought.В
9. Not Giving Others A Chance To Talk
It is a common practice amongst couples that during an argument, both the partners will scream, yell and shout at the same time. No one listens to what the other is saying. Nobody is willing to give a chance to the other partner to talk or to explain his/her view-point. Such heated arguments end up without resolving the issue. The result is that each partner now has more hurt and grudges in their heart and mind than ever before.
Alternatively: Try to stop yourself, give your significant other a chance to speak. Let them speak out what they want to and what they need to. It is necessary that both partners give each other the chance to express their feelings, thoughts and point of view.В
10. Lack Of Respect
No relationship can survive without the element of respect. This most essential rule is mostly forgotten. When we don’t give our partner their due respect, we disappoint them and unconsciously push them away from our selves.
Alternatively: Respect should be given the top priority in our relationships with our significant other. While communicating with our spouse, we should be careful not to say or do any such thing that can hurt their feelings and self-respectВ
What in your opinion are the most common mistakes that can ruin relationships?
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé