A large proportion of the population seems to think that it is unfortunate to be single. That they can only be “complete” once they have met that special someone with whom they would find eternal happiness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Oh, this article is most certainly not to condemn all of those happy couples. Know that I am infinitely happy for all those of you have found someone just right who loves you for you. But what I mean to say here is that the idea that you need another human being to make you happy, to make you feel whole is not just absurd and rife with inaccuracies, but also paves the way for misery and false expectations. These thoughts, that you are incomplete without a partner, is what will keep you from true happiness, rather than your single status itself. Instead, what we all need to grasp fully is that loving ourselves first is the key to attaining true happiness. With self-love comes acceptance for who we are, self-compassion, a realization of self-worth, and the courage to face even the most adverse of circumstances. And this comes from utter and complete faith in ourselves. ‘Ourselves’ being the operative word. Not another human being. So if you have perhaps been consumed by morbid thoughts pertaining to your single life, here are 8 things that remind you why single life is magically wonderful.
Being single brings with it an amazing sense of freedom. This is something I am sure anyone who has ever had a breakup can relate to. I distinctly recall the feeling I had after I had finished mourning the assumed loss of my very first relationship. It was as though an ethereal sensation of lightness that had stolen over me. I felt free. I felt the ability to do anything. And that has not changed. It has been a long time since my first breakup, and much has happened in between, but that sense of freedom remains constant after the end of a relationship. Smell that? It’s the sweet aroma of freedom.
Arguments with loved ones are common. Perhaps, because we have great expectations from the ones we love, some of which aren’t always met owing to the fact that we’re all humans after all. But whatever the case, one thing is for sure; there are significantly fewer arguments when one is single. For once, you needn’t get agitated over that darn toilet seat being up, or that you want to watch the game with your buddies but your partner insists on spending time with you on that particular day out of all others, and so on.
3. Opportunity to discover oneself
Being single opens the gates to a whole new territory of thoughts and feelings. Being single allows you the freedom to think about yourself and what you want out of life. And armed with that understanding about yourself, you are free to endeavor to attain those things.
Whether you like it or not, your time with your friends will be limited while you’re in a relationship. You can’t just head out with your friends at the drop of a hat. But being single gives you more time to devote to friends. Making new friends seems to holds more appeal. You can develop friendships without feeling guilty over being out about town with your friends, and not spending enough time with your partner.
5. Chance to focus on self
Being single gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself. You gain an understanding of all the things that can make you happy, like developing new skills and perhaps even inculcating them into your lives. This can include taking cooking classes, trying your hand at pottery, or even dance lessons because you’ve always wanted to tango! This holds true, no matter how bad the breakup. After my last breakup, I felt for a while as though I had a surplus of time on my hands, and therefore I began to take Italian lessons. And I daresay I enjoyed those days immensely. Ah, the joys of being single.
Being single allows us the indescribable pleasure of being able to travel alone. Sure, it is great to travel with your significant other. But flying solo brings with it a sense of hushed peacefulness and abandonment. All of us must experience the independence that traveling on one’s own brings.
Most of us have been in that precarious position where we have to choose one and the other one just may suffer slightly. Most of us choose our relationships, and I am most assuredly not attacking those who do. But with no one but yourself to consider, you can now focus on your career without being inundated with feelings of guilt. For once, you may put your career ahead of a relationship, and not feel terrible about it. So go full speed ahead. Achieve your targets and accomplish your goals!
8. More time to do your thing
Whether it is reading an inordinate number of books within the span of a week (yes, I hear you, single blue-stocking ladies), or revisiting an entire season of Friends all weekend, you can do what you want when you want. That is the beauty of being single. So, if what you want this weekend is to settle down in your jammies with a tub of popcorn or pizza in front of the television and watch scores of movies, then that is what you shall do. Do your own thing. Whatever floats your boat.
And best of all, being single gives you ample time and opportunity to discover your strengths and weaknesses. To realise that you are unique in that there is no other person on this planet like you. And accepting ourselves will give us the confidence to fully be ourselves. When you love yourself, you don’t feel pressurized to find another person to do it for you. So, go ahead and tell yourself the way Joybell does in her ever so poignant manner, “The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé