She was my childhood sweetheart and the love of my life, well, at least I thought so. We were madly in love with each other. We started dating when we were in the 6th grade and broke up when we were in college. I spent the whole day with you in school; I couldn’t have enough of you. We had planned a future with each other. Letting you go was the toughest decision I ever had to take. You were perfect for me in every way. I never felt aroused in your presence. You had such a calming affect over me, that’s how much I loved you. When I lost you, I lost my dreams, ambitions and my life. If felt like I lost a limb and that I might be paralyzed for life.
I still remember how it ended, it was horrible; I resented the fact that we ever met. I hated you every moment of the day; hate had completely consumed every feeling of love that resided within me. I was so fed up; it wasn’t just you, I wanted it to end as well. How could I possibly spend my whole life with a person who didn’t trust me? I couldn’t think of one possible reason to hold on, I was so furious at you for ruining the perfection we once shared. You used to be my better half, by the end of it, I didn’t want anything to do with you. You were the woman I wanted to marry and make my queen. I wrote songs for you.
We have no contact with each other now and I know it’s for the best. We are different people now and we have no reason to be with one another. We have both moved on with our lives, have found our soul mates and have different jobs. I would still like to know a few things, if we ever got a chance to talk again.
Do you still miss me?
Do you miss the moments we shared and the sweet things we used to do for one another? Do you think of me when you hear that song? Does a cool breeze make you remember all those nights we spent lying under the stars?
Do you know how hard it was for me?
Do you know how hard it was for me when I let go? When I let go of you, I let a part of my childhood go too. We didn’t share memories, we shared dreams, we shared ambitions and a life. How could you not have learnt to understand me over a period of 8 years?
Do you think the time was wrong?
Do you think it was wrong for us to fall in love? Do you feel that we were too young to handle the world and a relationship all at the same time while studying and doing jobs? Do you think that time was wrong and the world just wasn’t on our side? Do you think we would have been a successful couple if we were given a chance now?
Why did you not trust me?
Why were the things that other people said always so essential for you? Why did you not trust me? What was it that I did wrong, to have lost your trust? Why did you keep pushing away every attempt I made to save our relationship? It couldn’t have been just you I know it was me too. What made you push me away again and again? Had you fallen in love with someone else?
Why did you change?
You were the sweetest most innocent girl in the world. Why did you change and what was it that caused you so much pain that you thought you needed to change? What was it that I did wrong? What was your breaking point when you decided that you just didn’t want it any longer? Why did you not let go after all that you did to me and why did you smile when I said that it was over?
If you ever got a chance to do it all over again would you?
Talk to me, ask your ex
Do you have any questions for your ex? Share them in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé