When you first meet someone, it’s all happiness and smiles, but after the first few weeks or even days of back and forth texting, the risk of ghosting comes into play. If you know when to stop texting first, you can save yourself some heartache.
Of course, someone has to be the first one to break the ice and I’m not suggesting that you never text first, but you should stop texting first every single time.
If they don’t text you either, wait a while. In the end, they’ll probably give in and you’ve shown them that you actually have a life outside of them too.
I know it’s hard. When you’re being ghosted, you just want some kind of reassurance that it’s not starting to go the same way as it always has in the past.
It’s understandable, but it’s also essential to remember that if someone is childish enough to play these types of games, you don’t need them in your life anyway.
If you’re always the one picking up your phone to reach out first, check out these six reasons why you should stop texting first every single time.
1. You’ll easily notice if they’re a good one or not
If you stop texting first and they don’t reply, there’s your answer – they’re not worth your time. You can also figure out from being a little more fluid with your texting whether or not they’re a good one or someone who’s liable to play ghosting games with you when they become bored.
A healthy line of communication should be a mixture of them texting you first sometimes and you texting them first sometimes – equal! Don’t devalue yourself by constantly chasing after someone who can’t even be bothered to say “good morning” or ask you how you are.
2 You don’t have to do the hard work all the time
By texting first all the time, you’re doing the hard work. You’re constantly thinking of something to say, always wondering what they’re doing and why they haven’t texted you. It’s exhausting. Crushes and even full-blown relationships should not be this much hard work!
Relax. Cease texting first for a while and see what happens. With a bit of luck, your beau will figure it out and do their fair share of the work.
3 You give yourself time to focus on yourself
When you first meet someone, it’s easy to make your life all about them. You start to obsess about the smallest things, and as a result, you forget your friends, your hobbies, and the things you used to enjoy.
It’s a massive pitfall, and one you need to avoid at all costs. By constantly checking your phone and always being the one to text first, you’re putting one foot on that slippery slope. Relax and see what happens. In the meantime, focus back on yourself and enjoy your time.
4 You learn to enjoy dating rather than becoming stressed
I never enjoyed dating and always found it super-stressful. I ended up constantly checking my phone and thinking of things to text just to make contact. It makes me cringe nowadays, I must have looked so desperate. By learning to stop texting first, you actually relax and start to enjoy the first flourishes of love. I’m told that it can be enjoyable if you just lighten up and let it flow naturally.
5 They quickly realize they can’t take you for granted
If you’re always happy to do the hard work and text first, they’re not going to try very hard. It’s a natural human response. However, if you make them work a little, i.e. do their share of the texting, then they’re going to quickly see that if they take you for granted, you just don’t text at all either.
It’s a far better picture and one which cultivates respect. That’s a far healthier and happier picture, don’t you agree?
6 They’ll appreciate your worth
When you’re not texting them, they’re thinking the same thing you’re thinking when you don’t get a text from them – what are they doing? Who are they with? Why aren’t they thinking about me?
It’s a classic power play. Although dating shouldn’t include games, in all honesty, it does. Let them wonder what you’re up to! It makes them appreciate you more and ensures that your own level of self-worth isn’t eroded away by constantly wondering why they’re not texting you first.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé