Situations and even the smallest problems become highly damaging and complicated if you are dealing with a depressed partner. It is a true test of patience and determination. A depressed partner isn’t someone who you should feel bad about or ask yourself the repeated question, Why you? Why them?’. It is hard to understand, I know, but take it as an opportunity to prove your love, to be there for your partner.
Depression is a terminal sickness and it requires a powerful pull that can bring out the person from this black hole of darkness. So here is to those people who want to look for a way to help their partners out.
1. It isn’t a switch that can go On and Off
Do not expect your partner to suddenly wake up one day and be perfectly fine or for you to give them one pep talk and that fixes everything. That doesn’t even happen in the movies. Getting out of depression is a long process and it requires constant push. A constant force that keeps on telling them to work harder and try harder for the sake of others who love them.
It might become overwhelming for you but that is the exact kind of emotion you need to hide from them. Otherwise, they will add your frustration to their list of things that makes them sad.
2. Need miraculous patience
It can be done!В That is the first thing I want to say to you. Whenever we hear of ‘extreme patience’, we think of only a few people who can do that, you call them saints and stuff for that but you never truly believe that you can execute that kind of patience when you need to. Have faith in yourself because if you don’t have faith in yourself, how can you expect your depressed partner to have faith in you?
There will be time when for the hundredth time you will be telling them that you love them the way they are but they won’t believe it, that is when you need to show patience. When they doubt you repeatedly and you need to explain yourself again and again, that is when you need patience.
When they harm themselves, that is when you need patience. You pretty much need patience every single day and every single minute of your lives. But, trust me, it will pay off when you see your partner smile, wholeheartedly.
3. They will act on the extremities
They will either push you away completely or won’t let you go even for a single minute of the day. Either they are all in or all out. You need to be the balancing factor for them. You need to butt in when they don’t need you around and try to call in some friends or family members, when they only need you. Be very subtle with your efforts, don’t let them feel like you are doing it on purpose. Have everyone in on it.
Remember, when in a relationship with a depressed person, you are actually acting as someone’s personal therapist! Be careful with what you do because the consequences of your actions can magnify due to this state of depression.
4. There will be times when you will be frustrated
You are human, like any other human and you will have your moments where you will snap. It is all right, don’t feel guilty because it is a mammoth task to pull someone out of depression and bravo to you and the kind of love that you have gathered the strength to do so.
It is completely fine, let out your frustration elsewhere so you can recharge yourself and find the motivation to help out your partner again.
5. Focus on the future
You and your partner both need to focus on the future. Aid them visualise how life would be when things are better and you both get a chance at normal life. Looking forward will not only give them hope but it will also make life easier for you. This will solely act as your motivation to try harder to help your partner recover faster.
The right kind of efforts in the right direction can do wonders for your depressed partner. Just hang in there and keep trying hard because it will happen for the both of you sooner or later but don’t lose hope, and you won’t lose the battle either!
Talk to me
Are you with someone who’s going through a depressed time? How do you deal with it and what’s your way of making them smile? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé