Breakup, the world’s most stupid things are done in this state!В And I am not just talking about getting drunk, I am talking about stuff that doesn’t instantly show how stupidly destructive they were.В Breakup is a bad and hard time, you are not in your senses, and you feel rejected, deceived, disposed, disappointed, at them or yourself, and used. Doesn’t matter if it happened mutually or individually, these feelings are common in any and every breakup!
So you go overboard in either making yourself feel happy about it or making yourself feel guilty about it. In either cases, you go overboard and do a few things that you eventually regret doing immediately or later in life.
Here are the things that I have seen happen to so many people including myself.
1. A REBOUND
A rebound is a temporary soother and a life-long regret. Moving on after a break up is like learning to walk again after recovering from a leg injury. You go on and try to get hold of anything that offers you a little support to help you walk again. Similarly, as we aren’t supposed to be single and are for sure not used to it anymore, we grab onto the first person who approaches us. We forget that the best things in life are found the hard way, nothing good comes easy. Learn to walk on your own so you can stumble upon something beautiful.
2. DISTANCING YOURSELF FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY
A lot of us fold our knees, shut our eyes and pretend to be lifeless for weeks and often months after a breakup. Our friends and family try to reach out to us and help us out but we close all doors. Often offending or even insulting a few in the process of healing. Whereas, those helping hands are the quickest ways of healing. I say this with experience. We lose good friendships permanently if not changing them for good over this phase of let-us-be-on-our-own.
Your friends and family are the only people who can help you. Remember what you truly were before the relationship and that’s what truly heals a person.
3. DRUNK TEXTING/DIALING YOUR EX
This is either when you’ve had too much to drink or when you lose control of your emotions.В Don’t ever, EVER text your Ex to get back with you or beg to forgive you or tell them that you are completely fine without them (because that clearly shows you are not!).
It is the worst regret you will ever have that will also make you feel a series of other things; disappointed, not good enough, stupid and clingy.
Also, drunk messaging is not just a memory, it’s a whole re-readable thread of messages that you can see a thousand times and curse yourself for doing so.
4. STALKING THEM TO FIND OUT IF THEY HAVE MOVED ON
The last thing you want to do is see their Facebook page a million times during the day, just to see if they have moved on. Revisiting their Facebook page will still keep you connected to them and you will still feel like a part of them.В What’s worst than still feeling connected to them is when you keep checking on them to see if they have moved on and you find out that they did!В It’s a huge blow to the heart, it feels like a break up all over again.В Don’t multiply your own pain, let them move on and let yourself heal.
5. BLAMING EVERYTHING ON EITHER ONE OF YOU
No one in a relationship, after a breakup, is to be held responsible solely. Every relationship has two people, two wills and two point of views. As I have emphasised a lot of time, there can never be one person who is a complete angel in the relationship and the other is the demented soul.
If you blame everything on your partner, you will hate them and that hate will not let you live freely. Everything will remind you of them and thus everything will end up making you angrier and bitter.On the other hand, if you let them make you believe that everything is your fault, you won’t be able to live with the guilt. You will always feel like you had it all but ruined it yourself. Whereas, nothing is ever like that.
It all comes down to your will to build yourself up again. Don’t blame each other, your ex or yourself, things that aren’t meant to be, end eventually. So why go over it again and again so you have a definite reason to pin it on?В Let go of them so you can let yourself go free.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé