1. Know that conflict is inevitable.
There is no way that you can avoid getting into arguments or fights with your partner, no matter howВ hard you try to avoid arguing, you’ll find yourself face to face with your partner in a screaming match ultimately and all of your attempts to save yourself from this very fate will prove to be futile. The truth of the matter is that despite what they may portray love as, in romantic comedies and such, love is not flawless. You will not find someone who’s so effortlessly perfect that the two of you will never get into any sort of argument at all in real life, and if you do find someone like that, chances are- either you’re incredibly very lucky or your relationship is fake and your partner isn’t wholly invested in this relationship.
It would be in your best interest to emotionally understand and accept the fact that you and your partner will disagree on a lot of things and you can’t do anything about it. So, when the two of you do argue, it’s essential to argue effectively and wisely without causing any permanent damage to your relationship.
2. Learn to communicate rather than making rash decisions.
Sure, you feel like hurting your partner the way they hurt you, sure, you want them to feel the pain they’ve put you through, all of these feelings are understandable but this in no way means that you should let all your negative thoughts take over you and make you do things you might regret later on.
Instead of acting out like packing up and leaving, you should learn to effectively communicate with your significant other and tell them how you feel about whatever it is that they did to begin with or maybe try to get them to see things from your perspective.
3. Backtrack and evaluate the situation.
Things often have a tendency of suddenly blowing up unexpectedly, one minute you’re enjoying a nice meal on the coast of some sea, sure that you have never been this much in love with anyone and the next minute, you’re at each other’s throats. In matters of the heart, it’s easy to throw all logic and reason out the window and start playing blame games with your partner at the slightest sign of conflict.
But instead of acting on impulse and simply spewing out whatever it is that comes to your mind, you should backtrack and evaluate the situation you and your partner are in. If, for whatever reason, you can’t pinpoint the cause of the argument, you should resort to keeping silent till you have your head cleared and are in a better position to argue well.
4. Get to the bottom of things.
To eliminate a problem completely, you need to first figure out how the problem arose in the first place. When you’re able to identify where and how this cause of conflict came about, you can better deal with how to handle yourself on the matter. For example, if your partner accuses you of cheating on them, instead of letting the feeling of anguish, at the fact that they might even suggest such a thing, take over you; you might first want to try to find out what would give them such an idea.
Upon investigation, you might find out that someone increasingly very jealous of the two of you spread a false rumor about you which would prove the entire thing invalid and would effectively eliminate the problem between you and your partner entirely.
5. Try not to exchange dirty blows.
In times of fury and anguish, the worst thing you can do is give these feelings a voice, especially when dealing with someone significantly close to your heart. It doesn’t take much to permanently hurt someone you love with idle words. That is why it’s vital to always keep yourself in check- no matter how angry or agitated you are because in your negative state of mind, it’s all too easy to hurt someone you love.
It would also be unwise to get physical and try to harm your partner by hitting them. Physically hurting your partner can permanently scar your relationship, not to mention your partner’s psychological state of mind. Human beings are weak creatures and human beings in love are even weaker creatures, thus it’s essential to make sure you don’t do or say something to immensely hurt your significant other.
6. Know that there’s nothing wrong with apologizing.
It’s the misconception of the ages that somehow saying that you’re sorry puts you beneath the person you apologise to. In reality, it’s quite the contrary, apologising makes you the bigger person in a relationship and there’s nothing wrong with being wrong from time to time.
And even if you’re not wrong, it’s sometimes better to let your partner win rather than lose them over some unintelligent argument. So, you should learn to put your ego aside when arguing with your partner and be prepared to be wrong from time to time.
In the end, it’s essential to always stick to your beliefs when faced with conflict in a relationship and never stoop low to win an unessential debate. Because surely, losing an argument is a much smaller price as opposed to losing someone you love.
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Do you think these things can help in an argument? Let me know in the comments below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé