Let’s get real; not everyone finds young love. Despite what they show in movies and TV shows, it’s improbable that two immature, young adults will find true love and learn to preserve it forever, not all guys can be Shane West from A Walk to Remember.
It takes a sure level of maturity for us guys to be able to maintain a healthy, respectful relationship with someone who we’re actually attracted to on a personal level and needless to say, most of us don’t know the first thing about commitment as adolescents. But as we mature, our view of women changes a lot and here are five ways that guys change as they get serious about someone.
1. We understand that sharing a lifestyle is as (if not more) essential than sharing interests.
We’ve all had that one person we seemed to be attracted to because they liked the same things we liked- a girl you’d have never thought about romantically, told you she loves Manchester United, just like you, and suddenly you were sure that she was the one. It seemed all too simple to base who to date on what band they listen to or how much they love a sure food.
You love pasta and Pink Floyd? I do too! Let’s date.
But as we enter a serious relationship, we realize that we can’t base our relationships on personal preferences and how much they match. Sure, it’s nice to sometimes talk to a girl and learn that she loves Breaking Depraved just as much as we do but that’s not the same thing as meeting a girl and finding out that she has the same religious values and perspective on society as we do.
We learn to dig deeper and appreciate a girl’s views and values rather than what kind of music she likes to listen to in the car and what she does in her free time.
2. We stop showing our girlfriends off to our friends.’
As adolescents, we’ve all discussed and rated all the girls in the school, and of course every guy’s aim is to somehow get the girl rated #1. It’s the competition of the ages, and we mostly just go out with a girl because we want to show her off to our friends and somehow feel superior. But luckily, as we get into serious relationships, we learn to stop bragging about our girlfriend to every single one of our friends like she’s a trophy because we’re guys and we know how guys work.
If I brag about how great my girlfriend is in bed, I know for a fact that one of my friends will imagine my girlfriend in bed, and I do not want anyone thinking of my girlfriend in bed. Not to mention that she means much more than just a prize.
3. We learn that looks aren’t everything.
If you go back and tell your younger self this, I’m sure he’d laugh at your face and then go on to rating girls, not giving a single one of them a ten (unless of course one was wearing booty shorts.) That hormonal teenager never leaves, the first thing we notice about a girl is still of course her appearance but as we decide whether or not she’s just another girl we take into account much more than just her appearance.
4. We learn to be ourselves.
It’s easy to pretend to be someone you think a girl you like likes, because you think that way she’ll like you almost as much as the guy you think she likes. More complicated than inception, I know, but bear with me as I help you navigate through a typical guy’s labyrinth of a mind. For some reason, as this whole Be Yourself’ lingo spread like wildfire and these two words became a part of every script of every corny teen movie ever made, guys simply got repulsed at the thought of such corny internet advice that seemed to come from nowhere with no real life proof.
So as we mature and we find that being ourselves does have a positive effect on our love lives, we’re actually surprised. Cheesy as it sounds, as we learn to be ourselves with someone we find out a lot about who we are as a person as well.
5. We learn to stop stressing and start being more thoughtful.
As teenagers, a relationship was considered serious’ if it lasted for more than a month. After that, it all just went out the window because of all the stress that lasting relationships drag in with themselves. There was simply too much pressure for someone of that mental capacity. As we mature, we learn to stop stressing so much and tend to go wherever the relationship takes us, learning to be a good boyfriend and fixing serious problems rather than worrying about them.
Men, talk to me
Men, do you believe you’ve grown into an adult? Is there something you would like to add to the list? Let me know in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé