Contrary to what Zooey Deschanel’s character in ‘500 Days of Summer’ says, you don’t one day wake up and just know that you’re in love. Droping in love is a long and rather tiresome process involving a continuous cycle of self-doubt and disbelief, especially if you’re the kind of person who has a never-ending list of all the people you’ve broken up with, stuffed haphazardly in the drawer of your bedside table.
It can be difficult, trying to figure out whether or not you love someone because unfortunately for us, magical love-o-meters have not been invented (yet) but luckily for you, we’ve compiled a list of indicators that might help you decide whether or not you’ve subconsciously accepted the fact that your partner is the one.
1. You don’t find anyone, other than your partner, attractive.
Let’s get real, not all of us end up with our very own Ryan Goslings and Gigi Hadids, but in your head, whoever you do end up with is the sheer definition of perfection in your eyes. How else can you explain your sudden disinterest in people you would ogle to the ends of the earth before? Say, you see a Victoria’s Secret model flipping her hair away from her face in a magazine, all you’ll think about is how your partner just does it so much better.
2. You’ve deactivated your Tinder account.
-And removed yourself from all other dating sites, because the notifications at the top of your phone have started irritating you rather than making you excited like they used to. You’ve accepted the fact that you will never make it to those miraculous Cosmo cover stories about couples who find love through social networking and online dating because you simply don’t want to waste so much emotional energy and time on trying to find someone whose display photo makes him look like Leonardo Dicaprio, when he has a very visible bald spot and drinks too much for someone on a light’ dinner (we’ve all been there).
3. You’ve managed to successfully break out of your comfort zone.
A feat you’d given up on trying to accomplish, a long long time ago. You’re readily agreeing to doing things with your partner that you’d otherwise never dream of doing. Paragliding? If it makes him happy then sure!
4. You’ve managed to throw your self-diagnosed commitment phobia out the window.
You actually find yourself daydreaming about the future- a lot, and you’re not even a daydreamer by nature. Hell, you can’t remember the last time you daydreamed about someone, but you’re sure it was about Tom Hanks right after ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ released. You actually find wedding magazines interesting and always stop to stare at the window display of Mother Care.
5. You want to become a better person for them.
You’ve actually bought yourself a couple self help books and read articles on how to be a better lover online in your free time. You find yourself working towards making yourself a better person- even if it’s just going for a jog early in the morning, hoping to get all the negative energy out of your system before the day starts like the books suggest or sticking a couple mint flavoured chap sticks in your bag to make your breath smell good for whenever the two of you kiss.
6. You obsess over cheesy song lyrics.
Even the overused ones that used to irritate you to no end before. Taylor Swift has managed to single-handedly invade your playlist and you find yourself playing and singing along to upbeat songs about love on repeat, occasionally stopping to grab your partner by the collar and tell him how ’US” a song is.
7. You’re willing to sacrifice things that mean a lot to you for their happiness.
Because their happiness is what matters most to you and you can’t fathom not dropping everything and being by their side when they need you. If they don’t want you to go to the yoga class you’ve been waiting seven weeks for, you won’t, because you don’t want them to get mad or disappointed. Who needs to spend hours imitating a person making weird bodily positions anyway?
8. They’re all that you think about.
First thing in the morning and last thing at night before you welcome sweet slumber. They’re all you fantasize about all day and you can’t seem to stop, even when it gets you in trouble at work and you constantly run the risk of either being fired or accidentally burning the office building down because of your absent mindedness.
9. You can’t point out to yourself what you hate about them.
They get you mad- insanely, ridiculously mad but when the storm blows over; you can’t seem to remember what it is about them that you hate so much. Because at the end of the day, they’re just a mix of all the things you’ve grown to helplessly love- flaws included.
10. People say you’re not the same person you used to be.
You’ve stashed the old you away, with all your old club access passes, Danielle Steele books and DVDs of chick flicks. You often find yourself doing things your partner does and learning to like their favourite dishes and Jazz music.
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So have you found ’the one” yet? What was your first tell sign? Let me know in the comments below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé