A girl met a guy on a social networking website. She was pulled in by his profile, which made him appear to be pretty smart, funny and have a nice personality. The guy liked what the girl looked like in her photographs, furthermore, he also found her to be quite fun, fascinating and smart. Everything was going pretty nice, until they met each other for the first time. They had a lot to talk about as they had numerous things in common and spoke for around an hour. But then, the guy checked the time and said that he had to go. He didn’t say anything about a second date, and that actually was the last the girl heard from him.
What went wrong here?
There are a lot of conceivable reasons that the guy may have chosen not to continue the relationship further. He may essentially have chosen he was not into her after all, or that she was not as fascinating as she appeared in her profile. On the other hand he may had experienced issues with closeness or some other issue that the girl didn’t know about. In any case, the girl was having a tough time getting over it. She needed to know whether she had done something wrong to push him away.
As she went over their discussion in her head, she thought that there actually was one thing that could’ve been the reason, however she didn’t want to believe that that was the reason.
The girl was thinking that the guy knew where she used to work, he knew about her profession. When they met and were talking for the first time, the guy said something related to her field of work and the girl replied with some facts and info from a research she had published. It was that exact moment when the guy said that he had to go.
The girl was actually a scientist and she had gone through the same thing in the past, too. She had been rejected a couple of times by guys only because they thought she was too nerdy, smart or too scholarly.
Was this the reason for this guy leaving, too?
The girl’s mother once told her to NOT be too smart’ if she wanted to get married. At first, the girl thought that maybe this advice was just anti-feminist and avoided it. Her ex-boyfriend actually used to enjoy her intelligence and didn’t seem to be annoyed by it. But now that the same had happened again, she started to worry that maybe her mother was right about that.
A social psychologist with her colleagues from the University of Buffalo studied the behavior of men who dated women smarter than them. They concluded quite an interesting phenomenon in the end that can also answer what might have happened between this guy and girl I’m talking about. *Continue reading to next page*
According to them, they found that men are attracted to smarter ladies at first, but when they start getting involved in a relationship with them, this attraction disappears.
For their first study, the psychologists asked male students to put themselves in a hypothetical scenario where their female classmates got better marks or lower marks than them in a subject. And then, they were asked how they would react in such case. Then, they were asked to rate the female students on friendliness and on how attracted they are to them in terms of a long-term relationship with them.
Every male student rated the woman who got more marks than them as the desirable partner for them.
For their second study, the psychologists asked the male students to take a test in a room. There was a female student present in that room, as well. This girl was a part of the whole study and was asked to take the test and talk a little with these guys before the test. In the end, the test marks were shown and then the male students were asked if they were interested in dating this girl.
Each male student that had lesser marks than the girl in that room rated her to be less desirable for a relationship.
As per these studies, men appear to be attracted to ladies who they believe are more intelligent or more skillful at scholarly undertakings than they are, yet just if the ladies are at an emotional and physical distance from them.
Isn’t this all behavior disturbing? You might’ve even seen this study proved in front of you in some cases. It does seem like it was the reason behind that guy leaving the smart scientist too, no?
Luckily, there actually are men and women who can prove this whole research wrong, too.
You also might’ve seen a couple where the women are more successful and smarter than their husbands, and still their men love them and appreciate them.
Going back to the story, the smart scientist girl eventually found one of these men, as well. Yes, she had to go through a lot of tough times and horrible dates but in the end, she did manage to find a guy who genuinely loved her, admired her intelligence and was attracted to her because of her personality and smartness.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé