Words can sometimes defy the meanings behind them. We might say one thing while actually wanting something else. It’s quite a paradox we present for our listeners by saying something what we want and intending to want something else. Now when it comes to men, there can be found quite a significant difference between what they say they want and what they actually want.
So here we’ve briefly made a list of 11 things men claim to be their wants and such, which actually have a different meaning hidden beneath them. If you hear a man say either or all of them, keep in mind what he actually means instead of falling for just his words, and choose to act accordingly.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I’m just looking for someone who knows what she wants in her life vs I don’t know what I’m looking for in my life so I don’t want someone who’s as clueless as me.
When a man’s unsure of what he himself aspires to achieve in life, he wouldn’t want to carry the same burden of someone else, someone who does not have any ideal goal themselves. It might make them feel like have to help them figure out their wants and how to achieve the mall the while they themselves have no time left for themselves.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I hope to end up with a nice girl vs I hope I find someone who values love as much as the not-so-nice ones.
Men might look for that ideal dream girls but that does not mean they’re eliminating the value of good sex from their bucket list of things they are looking for in that girl. They sure say they want some nice girl to go out with but look for the kind who’s all nice and sweet but still craves sex just as much as the not-so-nice or somewhat mean girls do.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I’m into you and want to be with you forever vs I’m so into this right now and haven’t thought it through but still, should I come over?
Pleasure has many sides, depends on how badly you wish to be with him and look at it. He will leave no effort in letting you know how he is drooling over you and loves you unconditionally and wants to be with you forever but the fact that he has not even thought it through yet just means he is in it for the pleasure of it, more lust than love. And the only way to mask that is to make undying declarations of love.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want a girl who dresses simply, not to slutty vs It doesn’t matter how my girl dresses up but I’ll still say this to make her feel below me
All men have an ego and we know it, for their own good reasons too, no doubt. They might say they want a girl who dresses simply but they will only say so due to something else they want: to let their partner know they don’t consider girls who dress up too much just to make their partner think there’s a class of women below them, that their standards are higher than women who dress up too much or do more than the need and so forth.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I don’t want an overly emotional or overly sensitive woman vs I’m going to consider female emotions as emotions’ only, but my anger is justified and my feelings are not just feelings
Men judge women for being worry tarts, that they’re overly sensitive but not rational. Contrary to how they claim to want a woman who’s not too sensitive, what they actually want is to neglect her emotions as just that, while they go about justifying their own feelings and decisions as the only reasonable ones, without any prejudice. So what he says and actually means is different.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want someone with a good personality, looks don’t matter vs I want a woman with a good personality but also beautiful looks
Totally contradictory to what men usually say about wanting a good-hearted woman where her looks don’t matter, that is not to say they don’t completely want a woman with both good looks and good personality.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want us to stay friends vs I want us to stay friends though I hope you’d like to take it a step further
The question has been troubling both men and women since ages: can a man and a woman be good friends? In some rare cases it works out excellently. In most, not so, because even though men imply they just want to be friends, they can’t help but want it to go further than that and have it turn into a relationship instead. So just because he says he wants to be friends with you doesn’t limit his wants right there. There might be more brewing in his mind.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want to be with someone cool vs I want to be with someone cool who doesn’t interfere in my me-time and lets me do whatever I want
Men might have their own version of what it is to be cool’ for a woman but just because he implies his want to be with someone like that also pinpoints to his real want, which is that he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s sitting there playing FIFA or driving around. His want to be with someone cool somewhat goes synonymous with wanting someone who lets him do whatever he wants, no questions asked.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want a woman who takes challenges readily vs I want a woman who agrees with everything I say and do without any questions asked
So when he says he likes a challenge, he doesn’t want that entirely. Wanting a woman who challenges them would mean they have the ability to change him, which he doesn’t want. So what he actually wants when he says that is a woman who doesn’t disagree with him and submits to his decisions in silence.
What they say they want vs what they actually want: I want an intelligent girl vs I want an intelligent girl but not if she falsifies my beliefs or puts a stain on my masculinity in this patriarchal society
Men might admire brains alongside beauty in the woman they are looking for but when he says he wants intelligence in her, it doesn’t just stop there. He wants an intelligent woman but if she comes and questions his beliefs or negates them in some way, creating doubt about his masculinity in a society ruled by men it won’t be acceptable for him.
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Do you agree with the list? Acquire anything to add? Let me know in the comments down below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé