The most common mistakes women end up making…
The instant feeling of fluttering butterflies in your tummy is something all girls fantasize about. The perfect emotional and physical connection with someone is a rare finding. But once you do find it, then the way you take things on from there, is what decides the fate of that connection. You exchange contacts, plan dates and fantasize about a whole life ahead.
Talking to someone all day, sharing emotions, ideas and of course the intimacy that comes with it all is indeed a dream come true for most of us girls.
But sometimes, after a seemingly good start, things start changing. The guy either seems to become distant, starts pulling away or turns his back and starts ignoring.
But how come it went from okay to not okay just within days?
The way people deal with relationships varies from person to person. Some people, usually men, tend to require more time and space. They tend to breathe more in the moment than retrospect. Whereas women usually over think each and every detail and tend to jump to conclusions faster.
The thing is that although relationships are quite simple but a girl’s over-indulgence and hyper thinking can sometimes turn it into a complex chaos. This attitude of the girl ruins further possibilities of a relationship. And what was supposed to be a blossoming relationship turns out to be a wreckage.
The 4 major mistakes that girls these days commit and that are destined to murder the possibility of a relationship are:
1. Dwelling more in fantasy than in reality:
The way it usually goes is that the girl already starts fantasizing about a lifelong relationship with a guy she has barely been on two dates with. The girl rushes it and starts focusing on the future possibilities than on the present. She lets the fairytale budding inside of her reflect in the way she acts.
They fall in love with their fantasy and get possessed with it. This obsession is easily sensed by the man who was not even yet hers to begin with. Her desperation to hold on to the new man triggered by her fantasy starts pushing the man away. Sensing the over-possessive vibes the girl starts giving, he starts to back off. The girl, in turn, panics and that is how the push and pull starts, leading to the crash of something that had not even properly begun.
So in order to avoid such a fate, don’t rush into it. Give the guy space and time. Don’t try to plan an engagement on the second date. Let your relationship brew. Do not lose the track of reality and act wisely in order to have a relationship that lasts.
Trying to make sense out of everything every time
Inquireing yourself ‘where are we’ on the second date is as unwise as it can get. You don’t have to question everything beforehand. Not always everything will make sense. Hold one thing at a time. Give your relationship space to grow.
Mostly girls fear an emotional breakdown and as a camouflage to protect their insecure feelings, they start asking questions that puts the guy under pressure and ultimately drive him off.
In order to seek a long-lasting relationship, one must learn to risk and wait. Display patience towards the development of your relationship and let it build. Your indulging into things too much indicates desperation and that is something not very desirable. Fright, complexities and insecurities are a guaranteed ticket to drive your potential man off.
It is okay to fear risking emotions but without the risk how would you know?
It is up to you now to decide whether you want to leave your comfort zone and give it a shot or you want to stay cupped up in your turtle shell and push your possible man away.
3. Over thinking and over-analysing:
Stay in control and do not let your mind over-analyse the situation or the man involved in it.
How, when and why have a time to be answered. There is no need to rush things. Don’t try to over-analyse his actions, his intentions or what he’s about.
Dissecting each and every conversation and over-thinking his situation is one of the major mistakes girls commit.
Over-thinking leads to doubt and doubt ruins relationships. Give things time. Don’t turn nothing into something. Drama is absolutely a turn-off for any guy. There is no need to be melodramatic or overly conscious. Just let yourself follow the flow and see where it takes you.
Don’t be too indulged into analysis that you miss the joy of the moment. Investing time in worry will take you nowhere. Just be confident and know that everything will turn out just fine.
Hold your options open. Don’t let your presumptions turn the first nice guy into the right guy for you.
Wait till it is official to call it official. There is no need to tag things fast. Just because you hit it off on a couple of dates doesn’t make you a couple and so, you shouldn’t think like that either.
Call yourself his girlfriend only when he calls you his. Unless a man is completely sure that he wants it, he will not tag it. So do not consider it exclusive only after a few meetings. You will ultimately know when it’s for real but for that, you will have to be patient.
Don’t be paranoid or get hyper dramatic just because you doubt your position. Give it time and let the dust settle before giving it a name.
Just believe that if it’s meant to be, it will be.
One last advice is to not center your life on a man. There is much more out there. Don’t let one person be the sole reason of your happiness.
Do not stop being yourself either because the reason the guy liked you in the first place was for who you are. So have faith in yourself and learn to risk.
Let things follow their natural order and embrace the spontaneity. Live in the moment and don’t seek too far into the future. If he is truly the one it will definitely work out and if he is not then you have an entire world waiting for you to explore!
Talk to me
Do you have any other mistakes that you may have committed at the start of a relationship? Let me know in the comments down below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé