Honesty is the best policy, yes, but it is only brutality if not filled with compassion. What we say makes us who we are. Mind you, sugar-coating things does not help; it is the honest compassionate expressions that make a difference. These are some of the many positive things we should be saying more often if we expect to lead a positive life and spread happiness in little amounts.
I forgive myself:
Start with yourself. Start with staying true to yourself and not regretting and cursing yourself at every point. Self-loathing and self-doubt are the factors that make you rot mentally without you even noticing. If you want to begin a positive course, assess yourself first. Say I forgive myself in the mirror, while working, because actually saying it rather than feeling it makes a lot of difference.
I prioritize you:
One of the best ways to express your love for someone is to make them feel essential. When you prioritize someone i.e. leave every other task on your to-do list and sit with them or give them your time, you are telling them in the strongest way possible that you love them. It should be done more often; the people you hold dear should be told that they are held dear. They will be all smiles and you will feel better.
It’s okay to make mistakes:
We make mistakes, inevitably, there is no denying that. Why emotionally upset them by expressing anger and cursing and what not? There is an easy, calm way to deal with others’ mistakes, and that is to see their point of view. We need to follow that way, given all the negativity around us nowadays. Disclose them, if they made a mistake, that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you understand. – Continue reading on next page
You are better than you think you are:
Personally, telling people that they are worth a lot and deserve more than they give to themselves is the best thing to do. Notice the smile on their faces when you tell them that they are better than they think they are. Compliments don’t cost you anything but only make a little flower grow inside your heart and the fragrance comes out as smile on their face.
You inspire me:
Humans need motivation, no matter how famous or rich they already are. So if you like someone, some particular habit of theirs or a skill that is unique, tell them when you get a chance. Words of honest praise, not flattery, can lift up their mood. A person might feel a lot better because of you so don’t hold it in. Moreover, you might get to learn from them the skill that you were inspired by.
I forgive you:
Hold your time to go over the hurtful event that took place, but you are done, make sure you forgive the person. Forgiveness is an expensive thing to give; it is given at the cost of your ego. Say I forgive you because it is the right thing to do. Holding grudges will affect you more than the person who made the mistake. So, to make peace on both sides, say I forgive you.
I am right here:
Too often we shy ourselves from our friends who are struggling because we are not sure about the ways we should help them by. We fear we would only annoy them with our presence instead of being helpful. Don’t shy away; no matter how much the person says he is okay, stay with them. Disclose them you are there with them. Both of you will have no regrets when it is all well and good.– Continue reading on next page
I am sorry:
Just as it is tranquilizing to forgive, it is the same for accepting your mistakes and being sorry for them. Playing the blame game takes us nowhere while accepting our wrongdoings and promising to never doing them again makes us a better down-to-earth person. Say you are sorry and feel no shame in it.
I respect you:
It is another way of saying you like them. Saying you respect them means you hold them in high regard and it as dignifying as it could be. Like, like and respect, they are vastly different, yet it never needs more than three words to express true-felt love, like or respect for a person.
I believe in you:
You know you are supportive of your friends’ and loved ones’ actions and decisions, but it never hurts to say it out loud. Discloseing them that you are there for them and you believe in them can make a lot of difference in their level of self-confidence.
I see something in you:
We all go through times when nothing about our personality impresses us and we don’t see why we are doing what we are doing. Those are low times. That is when you need a love one to tell you that they see something in you. Not faking it, but actually bringing out the best side of you by reminding you your worth.
Thank you for being there:
When you have been helped in the hard times, remember that the person who helped you put a lot of effort in bringing your spirits up. Don’t forget their favors. Thank them by words and by actions.
I am worried about you:
We have this ability of guessing and observing people and their happiness or sadness via their faces, moods and actions. We can tell if a person is unhappy. When we do, we ought to ask them what is wrong. They may be justifying their sadness, your concern might affect it, lessen it. So when you see discomfort in someone’s eyes, tell them you are worried about them. They will open up.– Continue reading on next page
You brought a change in my life:
It is, indeed, good to know that someone enjoys your company and likes to spend time with you, but it is a totally different thing to hear them say that your presence has brought a change in their life. It is not necessary to say it directly to the person, their importance for you can be shown by routine actions as well.
How can I help you:
It is nice to formally tell them you will be there for them when they need you, but actually being there when they do is more essential. Our loved ones need us; they need our help in things whether big or small. So we may as well actively ask them instead of giving them the discomfort to hesitantly ask. If they see you as a person of trust, they will share their burden.
I am angry but I don’t want to lose you:
This phrase, in this form or any other, can be of great help in keeping your relationships on a stable level. Disputes or conflicts are sometimes dealt with anger, what you need to make sure is that you don’t leave the house or go to bed without telling them that your present state of anger does not affect your love for them.
I don’t agree but I love you:
Debates in relationships can be damaging if not dealt with care. While explaining our opinion, we render the other person as well as their opinion completely idiotic. This can be offensive and things can get bad. We need to learn to separate the debate from the person and remind them and ourselves that we love them, no matter what they say.
I love you but I’m unable to give you what you want:
Naturally, we wish to give everything our loved ones need. We wish to save them from the problems they face or the circumstances that surround them, but when we cannot, we need to tell them, instead of stressing and making bad decisions. If the relationship is of value, they will understand that you are not capable of providing what they want.
I know you can do it:
Like a mother, initially, trains her child to walk by holding their hand but eventually, she leaves the hands and lets them walk by themselves. Similarly, when a person gets out of a bad phase or a misery, you telling them that you are no longer worried about them can boost up their confidence to a great extent. Therefore, express your own confidence on them.– Continue reading on next page
I have been where you are:
It is one of many helpful methods of comforting someone in a storm. Don’t say it like you are showing off; make them realize that you have been where they currently are and you got out just fine. It can raise their hopes and give them the strength to fight the storm. It can be a very comforting notion, just what they need to row their boat out of the stormy sea.
It does not matter who won or lost:
At times, we get into arguments that call for a winner or a loser. When it is done and the heat is cooled off, tell the person that it is okay to have differences of opinion and it does not matter who was right. It will express your priority of the relationship to be greater than your pride and ego.
It has been too long:
We go too long without talking to friends and acquaintances sometimes. It is never too late to start a conversation and go along. It is a fact that the longer we go without talking, the harder it seems to bridge the gap. So try when you can, before it is not too late, which is actually never with the people we love.
You are allowed to be weak:
Some people build such high and strong walls that it is almost impossible for them to express their pain and suffering. But when you come to know they are having a bad time, you should tell that they don’t have to be strong right now, that it is okay to be weak and vulnerable. It can be a very liberating experience for them.
I am proud of you:
It may sound parental and flattering but it is, in fact, a very encouraging comment on someone’s achievement whether huge or small. It adds a little to their happiness and lets them know that you will be in the front line clapping for them when they win again. It gives them hope, moreover, that they will again.
It is never too late to start expressing your compassion by using these phrases as an encouraging pat on your loved ones’ shoulder.
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Do you agree with me? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé