Do You Have a Clingy Girlfriend?
Every guy’s definition of a girlfriend from hell starts with a clingy girlfriend, it’s pretty normal for a person who is in love to want to spend as much time as possible with the object of their love. But spending every waking moment with your significant other can be a pain in the ass no matter how much you’re into each other. Every relationship needs space, physical, and mental space without which it won’t flourish. So, when one partner starts being obsessed and clingy towards the other partner there is a problem.
Girls often get emotionally invested in their relationship more than guys so they naturally tend to be a bit more clingy, but some take the neediness and clinginess to a whole new level, we’re talking stalker, crazy behavior and no one likes that kind of a girlfriend. It has been established that the reason some girls are clingy is because of their insecurities, low self-esteem, and fear of rejection. This could be the result of past relationships or childhood trauma, her insecurities manifest in jealousy, possessiveness, badgering, and fear of abandonment. All these flaws tend to send the guy on the receiving end running for his life in the opposite direction.
The M.O of a typical clingy girlfriend is, she’ll text you every few minutes and expect you to reply to every text if you don’t she gets stressed, her anxiety kicks in and she starts playing out the worst-case scenario in her head which leads to further anxiety. She’s threatened by everyone in your life, from your friends to your family, your coworkers, other girls you cross paths with, and even your dog. In short, anything that limits the time you spend with her is a threat. Crazy right? Well, there’s more, these are 5 reasons why you should never mess with a clingy girlfriend, you can thank me later.
5 Reasons Why You Should Not Mess With A Clingy Girlfriend
1. She leaves no room for personal space
A clingy girlfriend makes you her center of attention; her life revolves around you and your relationship. She has no life of her own and hates it when you try to do things without her. She wants you to be dedicated to her 24/7 and will resent you for wanting to go out with your friends or spend time with your family without her. This type of girl wants to be part of every aspect of your life, even your professional life, she’ll show up unannounced in your place of work, call your mom more than you do, plan your days and months ahead of time and suffocate you with love and attention.
For a relationship to be healthy, both partners need space to enjoy their private lives and spend time apart, that’s the only way the relationship can grow but this is a concept a clingy girlfriend may never grasp, which is bound to make your life a nightmare.
2. She’s Insecure
Psychologists found out that insecurities and low self-esteem are the main reasons why people become needy and clingy. Her insecurities and feelings of not enough making her suspicious of your every move, such a girl will go crazy when you smile or talk to another girl, she thinks other girls are better than her, more beautiful, and fun so she’ll do everything to keep you from leaving her for someone better. A clingy girlfriend believes she has to keep you in check at all times, she acts overly jealous and possessive, goes through your phone, stalks you in real-time, and on social media. Having such a girlfriend means spending all your time reassuring her and making her feel good in her skin, trust me this is exhausting in the long run.
3. She Constantly Picks Fights
As if wanting to breathe the same air as you all day long is not creepy enough, most clingy girlfriends enjoy picking fights with their significant other. When she doesn’t get the attention she needs, she’ll pick a fight to be in the spotlight. For example, if she is talking to you and you’re not listening, she’ll imagine the worst and gets pissed off. She puts all her efforts into your relationship and expects you to do the same. Every time you go out without her she gets frustrated and sad thinking you do not value her or you might be cheating.
4. She is obsessed with you
You should never mess with a clingy girlfriend because she’ll be obsessed with you to the point that she believes you’re her soul mate and she’ll never meet anyone like you again. Chances are she’ll start planning your wedding on the first date and by your third date; she’ll have chosen the names of your future kids. Scary right? Well, know that a clingy girlfriend convinces herself that her world will come crashing down if you leave her and she can seriously hurt herself if you break up with her. For her you are the center of her universe, no one exists but you and everyone else is trying to destroy your love.
She expects you to commit ASAP; she wants to get married because she feels it’s the only way to have you all to yourself while stopping you from leaving. She’s ready to do all kinds of crazy things to keep you no matter how you feel about the relationship, she will guilt trip you into staying every time you try to leave.
5. She constantly needs reassurance
Staying in touch all day long with the object of your affection is all cute especially at the beginning of your love story when all the love hormones are high in your brain but in the long run, it becomes exhaustive. A clingy partner will call to check up on you every half hour or less, she wants to be in touch all the time, calling and texting you to know what you are doing and with whom. When you don’t respond to her calls or text back; she freaks out. No matter how much love you show her, she will be led by her insecurities and at the end of the day, you’ll feel trapped, suffocated, and resent her for how you feel which will lead to more tension.
Should You Leave A Clingy Girlfriend?
According to psychologists being clingy is something that can be fixed; as earlier mentioned, it is the result of low self-esteem and insecurities. This pattern of emotional neediness, instability, and ultra-sensitiveness to rejection explains why some people cling to their partners and if handled properly it can be overcome. If you love your girlfriend and believe your relationship is for the long haul then there’s no need to give up without at least trying to fix it. Here’s what you can do:
The first step is to talk to her calmly, reassure her that you’re not leaving and that your feelings for her are genuine. Bear in mind that clinginess is triggered by stress and desperation so you should avoid making her anxious and help her identify her triggers, find healthy ways to cope with her insecurities and anxieties as they arise. Like people; relationships also can change over time and for the better, so all is not lost, you’re not doomed because your girlfriend is the clingy type.
On the other hand, there are clingy and needy girls who are not willing to change, it doesn’t matter how much you try to reassure her, she enjoys acting crazy. In situations like this, the only way is to walk away from the relationship. As painful as it may feel sometimes the best way forward is to leave the relationship before it becomes toxic.
When you start noticing signs of clinginess from your girlfriend there’s no need to get mad or shut her out, this will only make things messy and difficult. Instead, sit her down, and have a heart-to-heart talk with her, express your feelings, let her know her behavior is driving you away. Since her sole purpose in life is being with you, anything that threatens your relationship will be taken seriously. Try and understand her insecurities and how deep they go, provide emotional support, and encourage her to get professional help if necessary. Once they have gotten past their insecurities, clingy people sometimes make the most loving and caring partners. Leaving should be a last resort when all else has failed because though it may be liberating for you, it could cause more damage for her than you’ll ever know.