Every relationship has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. But a long distance relationship has to bear the additional burden of physical separation over long stretches of time.
When two people in love are unable to be around each other physically, it leaves the relationship open to attacks of emotional and physical loneliness.
In such a scenario, it becomes essential to shun behaviour that can build up distrust and jealousy and ultimately ruin a lovely relationship.
So, go through the following mistakes most long distance couples make and avoid them, if your want to keep your relationship intact.
1. Breathing down the neck of your partner
Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying also much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
2. Appearing insecure
If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship.
3. Making allegations of infidelity
Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.4. Taking your partner for granted
While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going.
5. Not involving your partner in the relationship
When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.
6. Adopting a wait-and-see stance
Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship at all and will get you nowhere.
7. Saving all your money for later
If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?
8. Not being in touch
Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Hold in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé