Why Dating for a Nerd or a Geek is Daunting
Before we get started, one thing should be made clear; geeks are often misunderstood in the dating world. Granted that everyone is misunderstood, geeks take first place. The reason that happens is that there are tons of stereotypes that are fed into our brains early on in our lives. Geeks are either the sidekick or the friend, but rarely the passionate lover. Seeing this, again and again, has conditioned us to believe that all the geeks out there are single and yearning for some kind of relationship.
Other misconceptions about geeks are that they are often portrayed in media as they don’t have any social skills, they have poor hygiene, and that they do not have complex emotions; in short, they are a fully grown man child. While all this isn’t true, the media stuffs everyone’s minds with all this, and this results in them undermining themselves.
However, with pop culture taking a turn and comic con become more popular each year, the fascination with geeks is increasing, and all you guys need to cash in on the trend. Pop culture has shown an all-new side to geeks, they’re funny, shy, caring, and passionate. However, the fact that they are shy plays to their downfall; they often think less of themselves and don’t make a move even if the next person is giving them a green signal. Every movie that portrays them in a bad light goes to their mind, and they give up without even trying. This vicious cycle needs to come to an end. Here mentioned below are a few pointers you need to keep in mind, and you’ll be posting “#nailedit” in the comment section.
8 Ways to Start Dating when you are a Nerd or a Geek
1. Put yourself out there
The first thing that you need to do is to put yourself out there. As much as the outside makes you uncomfortable know that no one is going to come to walk into your room and confess their undying love for you if they do, please call the police. They are a creep. So if you want to have a relationship, you need to open your heart to the possibility that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and that it is not necessary for you to bond with the first person you like.
2. Try dating online
If you don’t think that you’re ready for going out into the open and date, then you should invest your time in online dating. While it might seem a little weird, in the beginning, know that if you use the right apps, you may find someone you click with. One advice I will leave you with is that try to be smart while online. Granted that many websites are legit, and lots of people find their love online, it’s never a bad idea to be extra cautious.
3. Open communication
Another thing that you need to be good at is open communication. Be sure to discuss things that you’re not sure about. For example, a person I fancied invited me to hang out and grab something to eat on the way, while it was an innocent hangout for them I had the idea that it was a date and I was also shy to ask otherwise. It was only when I leaned in to kiss goodbye that I could see the horror and confusion written on their face. Granted that we’re still good friends, thinking about it always makes me cringe.
4. Visit places with like-minded people
Another way to date people you might have a higher chance of connecting with is by going to places where like-minded people hang out. For example, if you’re a book enthusiast, the chances are that you won’t find your soul mate at a rave. Similarly, you need to join groups and hang out at places where you have a greater chance of meeting someone who has the same interests.
5. Be open to dating different people
While dating someone who likes the same things as you do is undoubtedly going to give you a lot to talk about, it doesn’t ensure that you’re going to have a successful relationship. You need to be open to people that might not have the same interests as you. While that might sound scary, it isn’t. It allows you to invite the other into your world of interest and get to know each other.
6. Don’t lose your individuality
Remember to stay true to yourself. While there are many geeks out there, it is only a part of your personality. Don’t merge in the background. Show them other fun sides of your personality, and they’ll fall in love.
7. Have personal conversations
Another thing that can get you off to a good start is having personal conversations. I once went on a date in which the other person talked about anything and everything other than himself, and that was the worst experience that I ever had. Not talking about personal things gives off the vibe that you are not ready to let someone in, and if that is the case, why are you looking for a relationship in the first place.
8. Play to your strengths
Always remember that you don’t have to be the best at everything. All you need to do is play to your strengths, and you’ll surely have a delightful experience. For example, people often say that nerds and geeks are smart and good listeners. If you’ve got both those qualities, you’re already halfway to a home run. All you need to do is be true to yourself and have a great time.
What To Prepare For Your Next Date
Clean your room
When people think about dating a geek, the first thing that comes to mind is that their room must be filled with junk food dust and raunchy comic posters. However, that typically isn’t the case. In case it is, know that that the burden to dismantle this stereotype lies on your shoulders. If you plan on bringing a girl around, clean your room. Make sure you put out a nice clean bed sheet and throw out the trash. Using a bit of air freshener won’t hurt either.
Another thing you need to do to prepare is that make sure your house doesn’t seem like your favorite comic book character. For example, once I dated a geek, his house looked like a Star War movie set. While it might seem fascinating now, trust me having ten different posters of Darth Vader staring at you while you make out isn’t the best feeling. So remember to declutter, keep your extensive collection in the attic and show it some other time.
Mark out talking topics
If you think that you might lose your nerves and start mumbling, then a trick to having a successful date is to mark out a few topics that can be discussed without sounding like a lunatic. Once you’ve got a list of topics that can be addressed on your first date, all you have to do is stick to it, and you’ll have an amazing date.
Focus on what you’re going to wear
Some people associate nerds and geeks with poor hygiene. So, the best thing you can do is call over a friend and take their opinion before finalizing your date outfit. Try to go for something semi-formal. Granted, that black looks good on almost anyone, if you’re a geek or a nerd try to go for any other color as it might reinforce some stereotypes about you if you do go.
Once you’ve made all the necessary preparations and you’re confident in your skin, all you need to do is make the first move. Knowing that you should be true to yourself, being shy isn’t a bad thing, and you can tell them about it. You just need to make sure that you rise to the occasion and that they see you more as a person rather than a member of the geek association. To make sure you have a great time, go over the points mentioned above, check all the boxes, take a deep breath, and as Nike says, “just do it.”