What would be your answer, if we ask, “can ex-lovers be still friends?” There’s no denying that if you go around seeking opinions on whether or not ex-lovers should be friends, you will get various answers.
Most of these answers will be contradictory to each other. You won’t disagree that often couples do not want to stay in touch with their ex-partners after their breakup.
They hold on to the grudges and continue to have resentful feelings. But if you are still wondering whether you should be friends with your ex-partners then you need to know that doing so requires emotional maturity, healthy boundaries and effective communication.
Still there are some reasons that tell why staying friends with your ex-partner can be a bad decision for you. If you are wondering what could be those reasons then, scroll down the article to read more.
1. You may feel awkward
The moment you decide to be friends with your ex-partner, it is quite possible that you may face some awkwardness. This is because there was a time when both of you were close to each other and shared a romantic bond and now you are more like strangers to each other. There can be times when both of you won’t be able to overcome awkward moments and feel uncomfortable in each other’s vicinity.
2. You may not be able to move on
So, if you have already decided to be friends with your ex-partner, it is quite possible that you may not be able to move on. Every time you meet or re-visit the places where you spent time together, you may feel disappointed for no longer being together. Moreover, since you will be seeing him/her every now and then, there’s a high chance, you may recall the sweet moments spent together.
3. You may not trust each other like you did before
If you broke your relationship because of some trust issues, then it is possible that after being friends with your ex-partner, you may not trust each other. It is possible that every now and then, you may doubt him/her. Even if you try your best, you may not be able to convince yourself to trust each other like you did before. Your mind will often remind why you stopped trusting each other.
4. You may end up blaming each other
Though you decide to be friends with your partner, you may never know when your minor chitchat would turn into a nasty blame game. The moment you sit to reminisce your old memories, there can be a little moment where you start pointing to each other for your breakup and sufferings.
5. You may feel bad to see him/her with someone else
Let’s get this straight that it is possible that you may not be ready to see your ex-partner with someone else. So, think of the situation when your ex-partner hangs out with his/her new love interest while you are around. It is evident that since you and your ex-partner spent considerable time together, you wouldn’t want to see each other with someone else. Moreover, at times, you may get jealous of your ex-partners new love interest.
6. You may feel lonely at times
Seeing your ex-partner living his/her life happily and seeing a new love interest, you may feel lonely. This is because you wouldn’t have pictured your ex being with someone else. You may feel that your ex-partner is having the time of his/her life while you are still not over your breakup. Eventually, this may make you feel depressed and affect your self-esteem.
7. You may secretly hope to get back together
Even though there was a time when you and your ex-partner didn’t want to stay together, you may secretly hope to get back together. Seeing your ex-partner evolve into a better human and being around you most of the time, you may wish if you were still in the relationship. Not only this, but if you are into a new relationship, there’s a chance that the desire to be with your ex-partner may ruin your equation with your current partner.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé