No one has this dating thing figured out, but it sucks when you all you seem to do is attract jerks, playboys, and all the wrong types of guys.
The ones that don’t have a single faithful bone in their bodies, the ones that are never ready to commit, the ones that play games with your heart and head.
However, the good guys are not a myth and believe it or not, there are ways you can actually attract one and stop wasting your time with all the rest.
1. CHOOSE YOURSELF FIRST
The first step to finding any kind of fulfilling relationship is doing the work on yourself. If you don’t love, respect, value, and treat yourself right, you’re mostly going to keep attracting men who keep the cycle going. You need to become the best version of yourself to find men who are also the best version of themselves. The truth is, we tend to accept the love that we think we are worthy of, so the better you feel about yourself, the better the men you’ll attract.
2. BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
Figure out what you want in a partner and what you will not put up with under any condition and stick to those ideals. Make sure you’re not putting out confusing messages about the kind of guy you’re looking for. When you meet potential partners, be direct and speak your mind. Closed mouths don’t get fed. Embrace your truth instead of trying to work around their ego or saying what you think they want to hear.
3. REVISIT YOUR DATING PARAMETERS
The reason you haven’t been attracting the right guy might be because he’s not what you’re looking for. Letting go of superficial preferences like height, beards, or the hardness of his abs in favor of qualities like kindness, empathy, and respect can help turn your luck around.
4. INVEST IN YOUR LIFE
While you’re holding out for the right guy, you need to ensure that you’ve got a lot going for you in your life. Do you have a job? Are you financially independent? Are you happy on your own? The right men want to date women who are their own people and have well-rounded lives. Being somebody’s whole world might sound cute on paper, but in reality, it is terrifying and unhealthy and no one wants that.
5. BE FULLY YOURSELF
It’s totally not worth it because if he is the right guy for you, you wouldn’t have to change to earn his affection. The right guys will like you for who you are when they see you being authentically yourself. You shouldn’t ever try to downplay how smart, funny, or outgoing you are for the sake of a man.
6. STOP OBSESSING OVER FINDING TRUE LOVE
Nothing is more pathetic than someone who is clearly desperate to find and hang on to love. Yes, being single sucks sometimes, but it’s not a terrible thing. You’re not only going to exhaust yourself by pouring all your time and energy into finding the right guy, but you’re also going to end up chasing good guys away because they can sense the desperation.
7. TRUST THE PROCESS
Playing it cool when you meet a nice guy that you like will save you a lot of trouble. Don’t be in a hurry to take things to the next step that you end up missing out on a good thing. Relax and get to know him better. Enjoy the natural pace of things and just allow it to happen.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé