Being in a relationship has its ups and downs. It is true that a partner can give you the support and love you need to live a more fruitful life.
However, it is also sometimes inevitable for our partners to hurt our ego or pride, whether intentionally or not. If left unconquered, this pride might foster resentment and lead to the end of the relationship altogether.
To overcome your pride and keep your relationship intact, consider practicing and living in these ways.
1. Accept your shortcomings
You can never defeat pride if you do not learn acceptance. If you’ve done something wrong, then admit it, not only to your partner but also to yourself. Do not let your pride overpower you into resisting acceptance or repressing the truth. This would be difficult to do at first, especially if your pride already has a stranglehold on you, but once you overcome this initial hurdle, then resolving the entire problem will be a lot easier.
2. Learn to apologize
After successfully admitting your shortcomings and mistakes, you would then have to follow it up with an apology. This might take a toll on you in the beginning, especially if you’re an egotistic person, but remember that saying you are sorry is a good way to develop humility and curtail pride. It’s a declaration not only to your partner but also to yourself that you are taking ownership of your actions, and that you are not letting your ego get in the way.
3. Look at the bigger picture
One way to overpower pride is by looking at the bigger picture. Is it worth it to stop talking to your partner after he/she hurt your pride by disproving your belief that the Earth is flat? Or is worth it to tell her derogatory remarks after your argument just to feel empowered and feed your ego? If you think that they’re worth it, then perhaps you’ll be able to keep your pride intact, but you’ll most likely put a dent on your relationship or might even put its existence in jeopardy in exchange.
4. Communicate constantly
We don’t always have to overcome pride. Sometimes, we must simply employ preventive measures so that our partners do not inadvertently hurt them, and this is where constant communication comes in. We have to communicate our state of mind and sensitivities to our partners, so that they can avoid doing things that would damage our pride. Of course, this solution is not full proof, but it can, at the very least, mitigate the number of instances where we are forced to confront and subdue our innate pride.
5. Don’t be also serious all the time
Sometimes, we get also defensive of our pride because we take everything also seriously. We consider every feedback as a potential insult to our deed or character, or we focus our attention also much on a single thing that the slightest criticism to it puts us on edge. There’s nothing wrong with being serious and vigilant, especially with the things you’re passionate about, but there should be a balance. You should learn to lighten up from time to time.
6. Compete in moderation
Being competitive is a good trait. In a relationship, it can be a healthy motivator for both you and your partner to further improve and grow. However, be overly competitive with your partner and you can find yourself hurting either your or her/his pride. Just keep it moderate. The end goal of the competition should be mutual development and not the projection of one’s perceived superiority.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé