What Is Attraction?
Every time you see someone good looking and well-dressed, randomly at a mall or at the park, you develop an instant liking towards them. But you cannot say you’re attracted to them because TRUE attraction is something different and much deeper than eyeing on a random stranger that dresses up nicely. If attraction worked like that, we would want to hit on each person that just LOOKS good. But that would be a mess and we wouldn’t want that, would we?
So what is the attraction? It’s a desire. It’s a passion. An attraction is bound to be romantic or sexual, or else it’s just two people thinking “hmm, this person seems nice”. But this isn’t enough to start a relationship at all. That requires a deep and unexplainable feeling called attraction. Of course, we cannot define it exactly, but we’re sure every one of you has felt it at some point in life.
Can Someone Feel It When I’m Attracted To Them?
Imagine yourself hanging out at a party. You meet a bunch of new people, some old friends also maybe. You catch a vibe that one particular person does NOT like you. How did you know that? Because their behavior was cold or their body language displayed they didn’t want to be around you. If feelings of hatred and annoyance can be transferred without saying them out loud, so can feelings of attraction and love.
Without us realizing, we act a sure way around people we like or love. This is out of our control. At the same time, the person we like (especially guys) have instincts to counter those actions with their instincts. Confused? Here’s an explanation:
Guy’s hero instincts
Men have a general instinct of always being there in the time of need or feel masculine around girls. So when a girl falls for a guy, she’s usually spending time around him a lot. Every time she starts to act nervous or clumsy around him, he’s going to know. Because he will feel the need to make her comfortable (especially if he’s a friend). No matter how much we try, the feelings are magically conveyed to the person that they are being seriously liked.
The same way you have a feeling that somebody hates you, you can tell if somebody likes you. It’s the energy and vibe people spread around them. When you’re happy, you tend to make the people around you happy. So, when you’re attracted to someone, you smile and blush around them, get a little fidgety may be, and generally get nervous. This gives away to that person that there is something about them that is making you feel this way.
What Is Chemistry?
We’ve heard a lot about two people having great chemistry in movies and TV shows. We get the context but what does it actually mean? Do not confuse chemistry with compatibility. Because compatibility depends on the similar nature and environment two people have been in. But chemistry is a strong feeling of connection which you get by being next to that specific person.
Strong chemistry is when two people bond as personalities, their emotional responses are heightened, they know exactly what to say and feel comfortable just by being around each other. A series of positive and confident reactions get exchanged and you’re connected on three different levels almost instantly.
Chemistry can be Physical where two people want each other physically, but of course to reach that level of intimacy they need Intellectual chemistry where they get to know each other and talk for hours without getting bored. Then comes the final stage of Spiritual chemistry where both the persons start feeling a deeper connection, which might be love.
What Body Language Should I Watch Out For To Know If Somebody Likes Me (Back)?
No matter how cool and calm we act, there are some specific signs shown by our body (our mind being unaware here) that give away our inner feelings. We’re humans and we can easily judge what the other humans are feeling if we know when and where to look. Here are some gestures and body language signs to notice and tell if someone likes you back.
Eyes give it away easily. No matter how much someone tries to hide the attraction, their eye will rebel and make it evident. Always pay attention if someone looks you in the eyes often (not in a creepy way of course) and you catch them staring every now and then.
Can you imagine having a crush on someone and looking at them with big frowns on your face? No way. So notice the facial expressions of people, changing around you. If a bright happy smile pops up after just meeting you or seeing you from afar, that’s a definite sign that they have developed a liking towards you.
There is no way a guy/girl would come and meet you in their casual PJ’s and ruined hair when they’re attracted to you. Notice the person’s normal everyday look and then compare when they’re meeting you. If they start correcting the hair, tucking in the shirt, or a quick make-up check, as they see you approach, then they’re definitely into you. Someone who likes you will always be conscious of their looks around you.
Change in voice pitch
Usually, people are unaware of this fact that when they like someone, they speak like a little girl, without even noticing, and by a little girl, we mean in a much higher pitch than normal. Even guys can speak in a much higher pitch to a girl they like, because they’re excited or nervous. This is a very evident sign that someone likes you back. Watch out, they might notice your changing voice also.
Wanting to touch
Of course, when we like someone, we don’t want to keep our hands off of them. Either by casually patting them, playing with the hair, or just purposely touching them when handing something over. The desire we get to be physically close to someone is a definite sign of attraction whether it’s you or your crush.
Being close to you
When someone likes you, they would always want to be your partner in everything. They want to sit with you at the movies, at a campfire, standing next to you in photos, and even walking side by side with you in a group of friends. You can also observe them leaning towards you and wanting you to look at them. Guys often bring in their chivalry by opening doors for you, etc. All these are signs that someone is into you.
Dilated pupils and pointing toes
Although it is a bit hard to detect it is proven that feelings of love and likeness can reflect through dilated pupils. Notice your own when you’re around that special someone and notice theirs when you’re around them. Also, when someone likes you, their feet usually point in your direction. Even the whole body can be directed to you. It’s a sign that they desire you and want you to notice them.
How Do I Know If The Attraction Is Mutual?
This is the thought we all ponder upon. Does he/she like me back? Is this all one-sided? Will I ever be loved back? These queries can be easily answered if you carefully notice all the things you do around that person. There are some factors that can enhance or downgrade attraction for someone. So, depending on your actions, you can judge whether your attraction is getting positive or negative feedback.
This is quite simple. If you’re around someone a lot, then they are bound to notice you and at some point, will be attracted to you (of course if you keep up a mature and cool front). Being around does not mean working in their workspace and just ‘seeing’ them every day. It’s about DOING things with them. Activities help people bond quickly and sometimes spark up the chemistry between them also.
Like we mentioned earlier, there must be a physical attraction to form the basis of a potential connection with people. If you’re disgusted by the first look at someone, there is a very low chance you’d like to bond with them. The same is the case with you. If you want someone to like you, be presentable around them.
This is a major factor that influences attraction. Just like the theory ‘opposites attract’, this theory suggests someone COMPLETING a part of the other’s personality. For example, someone who talks a lot needs someone who listens. This is how complementing works and you can easily sense if the attraction is mutually based on this.
Love can be challenging sometimes, especially when you like someone and you have no clue what’s going on in their minds. So, to make your life a bit easier, follow these signs and get to know how attraction works and how it changes our behavior around that special someone.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé