How do you get over someone you love?
Love is a wonderful feeling that is hard to express – no words can explain the love you had for the love of your life. To be in love with that special person can make you believe that reality was way better than your dreams. What you had was simply a beautiful chemistry – a special bond that you might have cherished and never hoped would come to an end. Remember: you can always start fresh all you need is, to give yourself a chance.
Letting go of someone whom you love so much is the most excruciating task, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It is definitely possible, but it requires a lot of patience. If love can bring you happiness, it can bring you grief as well. You might want to get over someone either due to a bad breakup or a bad marriage. Whatever the reason it might be, to let go of someone you love doesn’t get any easier.
Here, we have a few stages that you might have to go through in order to get over someone you love deeply.
Never stay in touch with someone you want to get over
The first and the foremost rule after a breakup is to stay away from them. Never ever try to get in contact with them, even for one last time. Believe me – it makes things worse. You can never get over someone you deeply love as long as you are friends with them.
Human emotions are often irrational; you tend to keep your hopes high, hoping for the special someone to accept you at some point of time. Having this kind of hope can never help you to get over someone you deeply loved.
Be bold, and take the next step: block them from your social media, delete their contacts, and don’t stalk them on social media. This might not be as easy as it sounds. Just the thought of having to stay away from your loved one might be heartbreaking to you, but have to do what you can to help you move on with your life.
Acknowledge your grief when trying to get over someone you love
It is hard to imagine your life without them, not being able to be around them every day. Not being a part of everyday their life, knowing that they have moved on and you are not in their lives anymore can make you feel like your heart has been torn into a million pieces.
Therefore, don’t let your emotions bottle up as an everyday occurrence. It’s okay to cry; it’s totally normal to feel sad and lost, for you have lost the love of your life – the person with whom you had hoped to spend every day of your future. Allow yourself to wallow in your emotions, but designate a period of time for wallowing; it is not good if you overdo it.
Time is the best healer, so make sure you take your time to grieve. You might feel like you can never be happy again or never fall in love again, but that’s not true. There is life after love. A happy one, and perhaps an even better one. Just grieve and give yourself the time you need to move on.
Dispose of the belongings of your special someone
Having to get rid of their belongings is heartbreaking. Disposing of their stuff is like you are actually doing the impossible: removing their memories from your everyday life. However, doing so helps you to accept the fact that they are no longer a part of your life and that you are moving on.
In the longer run, you might be able to think about your dear one without a meltdown, but it is not the right time when you still have intense feelings for them. So, it is always wise to remove all the stuff that reminds you about your special someone.
Be honest about your relationship
It’s high time you actually evaluate your relationship with your loved one. Be honest about all the good and bad experiences in your relationship. Focus on the reasons why it didn’t work out for the two of you. This will help you realize that the breakup was for the best.
For every relationship there are both high and low points. Learn to appreciate the positive aspects of your special someone and the person who you are today because of them. The toxic elements which were there in your relationship must also be evaluated, as they were the reasons that the relationship didn’t work out. Take this as an opportunity and try to learn from the pitfalls of your relation.
Remember not to dwell in the darker moments, for they might turn your love for him into resentment. Be cautious and conscious that you don’t give the one you loved the negative pieces of your heart. This won’t help you to move on.
Write down your feelings in a journal
Certain feelings are hard to express, especially after a losing your loved someone. To better know your feelings and understand them, it’s good to pen down your feelings and thoughts in your journal. Make sure to write in your journal as an everyday activity to keep track of your feelings.
You can even write about why your relationship didn’t work out; this can give you a better realization of why it was not meant to be and can help you to move forward with your life.
Value and love yourself more
After a breakup, it’s totally normal to feel bad and think about the things that were said or done. Don’t be hard on yourself for it.
Stop looking for the right words that you can say to try and win them back. Remember that you were not meant to be with each other. things didn’t go well as expected. Thus, you have broken up. It is hard, but you have to let go of your ex.
Focus on yourself. Love yourself more. Self-love can make you stronger, determined, and happier. Never undermine or curse yourself for the breakup, but rather you should look on the bright side and try to gain knowledge. Learn from your failures; they make you brave.
Live in the moment when trying to get over someone you love
Letting go of someone who has been so significant in your everyday life is pretty tough. Moving on is painful, but nothing is more painful than being stuck where you don’t belong. Don’t get stuck in the past or you may not be able to live in your present.
Once in a while it is perfectly normal to think about your wonderful experiences and memories with your loved one, but going over and over it again in your mind is healthy, nor is it going to help. Rather it destroys you by making you want them more than ever.
So be brave, face the challenges that reality throws at you, and make yourself stronger and more powerful than ever before. Tell yourself: Carpe diem (Latin for “seize the day”). Live in the moment and have hope even in the smallest amounts of happiness rather than dwell in the past and worry.
Spend time with your friends
Share your feelings with your friends or family. There is not a single person from the outside that can truly understand exactly how you feel on the inside after losing someone you loved deeply, but don’t be afraid to share your feelings. These are the people who will never want to see you hurt, and their love and affection might help you to get over someone you loved so deeply.
Remember these are the people who have accepted you for who you are without looking into your flaws. This is the kind of company you’re in need of right now. They will help you to see the brighter side of your future – motivate you for all the goodness you possess. No matter what, they would never leave you.
Explore new hobbies and travel to new places
Living in the past is not going to help you in any way. Rather, you should try to keep looking for opportunities to improve yourself. Adopt a new hobby; get creative! Rekindle your childhood passions to try and improve yourself. Every step you take to develop your interests, the easier it gets to move on.
Go on an adventure trip; explore the world! Traveling to new places is one of the best ways to reduce stress and get out of depression. Have a fresh look at your life, and learn to find happiness from within yourself.
Letting go of someone you have deeply loved is difficult, but it is equally essential to accept the truth that the relationship has ended and you need to move on. You can either drown in your sorrow and not be able to appreciate the good things happening in your life or be patient and take your own time to heal and move on. Try to appreciate the even the little things that put you in a good mood so you can be cheerful.
There is nothing impossible in your whole life. There is always hope. You might think that you may never be happy or fall in love again, but the truth is when you find the right guy who is able to love you for who you are, wonders can happen.
Time is all you need to move on. Be patient and give plenty of time for the sorrow to heal. Always remember: you might never be able to forget them or the way you loved them – the mark they left in your life – but the intense feeling of love you have for them right now will slowly fade away. One day, they will be nothing more than a distant memory.
Forgive them for what they have done, and forgive yourself for not being able to hold on to the relationship. You can never control their feelings for you or change their mind. Move on so you can stop inflicting pain on yourself.
At last, it all comes down to how you feel and how you want yourself to be happy. So always learn to follow your heart and create your own story. Create a new one with people who are ready to accept who you are – those who appreciate your flaws and adore you. These are the ones you want in your life. Never lose hope. Have faith in yourself and everything will be great.
Stay strong. All the best.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé