Is your partner accusing you of being selfish? How would you know if it is true?
Admit it, it is always easier to see the shortcomings of your partner than yours. That is why, if you want to know how you are as a boyfriend or girlfriend, then you better evaluate yourself objectively.
For a relationship to last, a couple should have mutual respect and consideration for each other. It means both partners should love unconditionally and selflessly.
If one of them is indifferent towards his/her partner, then the relationship will fall apart eventually.
So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend is telling you that you are selfish, do not ignore it. Find out if it is true. In case it is, decide to change for the better, if you want your relationship to work.
Here are some signs that you are being selfish in a relationship:
1. You always demand for time
If you cannot understand that your partner has a world outside your relationship, then this is probably happening. You get mad whenever s/he does not reply or call back immediately. Or you always ask him/her to be with you all the time, not minding that s/he has probably something else to do.
2. You are very possessive
It is more than being jealous. You simply do not like him/her talking or saying “hi” to someone else from the opposite sex. You prohibit him/her from hanging out with friends because you are always suspicious.
3. You need to be in control all the time
You always have the final say in your relationship. Your partner cannot do anything without your permission. On the other hand, you do not let him/her tell you what to do.
4. You care more about what others will say than your partner’s feelings
For you, your reputation is more essential than the happiness of your partner. For instance, you may choose to keep your relationship a secret because your boyfriend or girlfriend is not popular or attractive enough.
5. You want the person to change for you
To make your partner be your ideal guy or girl, you demand that s/he changes him/herself. You tell your partner that if you want your relationship to continue, then s/he should change what you dislike about him/her.
6. You are not willing to change anything for the person
On the other hand, you hate it when your partner points out your flaws. You insist that if s/he loves you, then must accept you as what you are.
7. You never ask nor listen to your partner’s opinions
You are probably not conscious about it, but you actually are not interested in your partner’s ideas. It is essential for you that s/he hears you out. On the other hand, you do not care about his/her opinions.
8. You use blackmails to get what you want
Knowing that your partner loves you so much, you always threaten to leave every time s/he is not willing to have it your way.
9. You never apologize, even if it is your fault
It is hard for you to say “sorry” to your boyfriend/girlfriend. If it is always him/her who initiates reconciliation after every fight, then your pride is greater than your love.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé