One of the worst relationships in the world is “forced relationships”. I’m going to write about this today because I’ve been in one and it was one of the darkest times of my life (and I’ve had some dark times). Let me begin by defining what this is.
What is “Forced Relationship”?
One of the saddest relationships out there. A “forced relationship” is when two people are just tired of each other but still don’t want to break it off (this could be due to a number of reasons). This is a relationship that is usually dragged out and starts projecting a lot of negative energy. Any happy and strong relationship can end up being a forced relationship if all of the triggers are met. I’m now going to talk about the signs, the signs that may warn you if you’re slowly falling into a forced relationship. Let’s begin.
1. When you imagine a breakup, it doesn’t seem that difficult
Breakups are tough, for people who can’t live without each other. The moment a breakup seems easy, it’s probably a very damaged relationship. When you’re in a forced relationship, the thought of breaking up doesn’t frazzle you so much, as much as it would if it were earlier on in the relationship. This happens when two people are so fed up with each other, they’d rather face the temporary sorrows of breaking up rather than creating a permanent sadness by being with each other.
2. You fight over every possible thing
When two people care about each other, they are very careful with their words and actions because they don’t want to hurt one another. But when two people are in a forced relationship, they tend to pick out the weirdest of fights on an almost-daily basis. I’ll give you my example; when I was in a forced relationship, I used to get angry at every little thing (she had cheated on me twice and I was giving her a third chance but I just didn’t have it in me anymore). Almost every other day, we used to have a huge argument over the pettiest of things. The “ignorance threshold” just flies out the window and it becomes nearly impossible to let things go.
3. You can easily spend time away from one another
This happens in forced relationships, people want to spend as much time away from each other as possible. They just want to avoid any negativity and want to be at peace for a while. For people who are truly in love, spending time away from one another can become a challenge, but the same thing doesn’t apply to people in forced relationships. The level of interest also starts diminishing, which leads to a lack of effort made by the people involved, which leads to lesser time spent together.
4. You find yourself thinking about other people
When a person is unhappy with the partner they have, he/she starts to find other sources of love and happiness, so they start thinking about other people more than their partners. This also happened to me when I was in a forced relationship, every female friend of mine who gave me even the slightest hint of a fling used to seem interesting to me (a man who never used to hang with female friends). It’s natural. It happens, with the best of us.
5. You don’t talk about your feelings anymore
When you’re in a forced relationship, you’d avoid talking about your feelings more and more. The thought of “talking it out” or “speaking from the heart” will actually scare you because you know you won’t be heard and your emotions will be ignored. This also leads to another gap, a communication gap. I’ve always talked about keeping a very open level of communication, it’s vital for the health and wellbeing of every relationship, but this gets lost in a forced relationship and this is why forced relationships are the weakest of them all.
6. You don’t think about the future with each other
When you’re serious about someone, you tend to take every step positively towards a bright and happy future together. You tend to make plans and set goals for the future in order to achieve the future you want with your partner. But when someone is in a forced relationship, they don’t think of a future with their partners so they just don’t plan and worry about it. In their minds, true happiness is when they’re alone.
7. You don’t mind lying to them, it doesn’t feel wrong
I’ve always talked against lying, you just can’t do it with someone you love because it’s just wrong. But when people are in a forced relationship, it doesn’t feel wrong anymore to lie. This is because you don’t actually worry about them finding out the truth later because you aren’t afraid of a breakup and you’re far beyond that point.
8. You got a little scary feeling down your spine while reading this article
If you got scared when you saw the title of this article, it most probably means that you’re in a forced relationship yourself or you’re on your way to one. If that is the case, then you have two options; you either sit down with them and have a proper heart to heart talk with them, or you just end things with them and save yourselves the misery of having a bigger traumatic situation in the future. Whatever you do, remember this; everything happens for a reason, life goes on.
Have you ever been in a forced relationship? Tell me about it in the comments below. And as always, stay blessed and keep the love alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé