Failing At Love All The Time
Are you on the verge of giving up? Do you think that you may never find your Mr. Right, walk down a wedding aisle, and say your wedding vows?
18 Signs That Scream: “I Am Meant To Be Single”
1. You are fiercely independent
Whenever you were in a relationship, sometimes you felt that your partner was also dominant and constantly influenced your choices, like where to eat, where to hang out. You may have felt suffocated and trapped in a relationship as well. You are driven and ambitious and know how to achieve your life goals, none of which involve getting married and settling down.
2. You have very high expectations for a partner.
You have decided that you will not compromise or settle for less. A lot of guys who tried to woo you fell short of your expectations-so you decided to remain single instead. Even when you actually met Mr. Perfect, it wasn’t what you had envisioned at all.
3. You don’t get couple envy
When your friends talk about their boyfriends and the whirlwind romances and dates, instead of experiencing envy or jealousy, you think to yourself: ”Thank God I am not in a relationship”.
4. Your relationships with men never worked out for one reason or another
maybe your boyfriend was chronically late for dates, or you were constantly being salsod up by your matches on Tinder or OkCupid. Some of your ex-boyfriends had very bad breath or bad habits which irked you, such as leaving the dishes unwashed after eating or throwing his used clothing all over the floor. Your ex-boyfriend was also “stingy/lazy/rude/obnoxious” or simply a male chauvinist pig. You may chalk it up to bad luck or sheer coincidence, but you have given up on men since then.
5. You are not actively looking out for someone to date
So, the clock is ticking, and you are hitting the big 3-0. Your parents tell you that you should find a boyfriend, get engaged, and settle down. Your friends try to play matchmaker, introducing you to their colleague, but you are not interested. On the contrary, you are not flustered at all. You know that you might end up single for life-and you are totally cool with it.
6. Valentine’s day? What Valentine’s day?
To you, Valentine’s day is another occasion for retailers to woo consumers with deep pockets to spend loads of money on flowers, bears, and chocolate. You spend Valentine’s day with your girlfriends or with your mum.
7. As a child, you never believed that fairytales existed.
As an adult, you are even more sure that fairytales don’t exist. You think that Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Snow White/Beauty and the Beast were nice fairytales made up for naive young children. In reality, you feel that you will never find your Prince Charming, or “The One”. Or perhaps, your friends wanted to dress up as Cinderella, Ariel, or Belle as a kid, but you wanted to be Mulan.
8. You don’t care about what society thinks
Modern society places a lot of emphasis on marriage and starting a family, and the need to find your “other half”. Women are often pressurised to get married and settle down. Through social media, television programs, and movies, we are all conditioned to think that we are damsels in distress who need princes on white horses to come and save us. We have been portrayed as the weaker sex, as subservient to men. You are a staunch feminist and you have decided to buck all societal trends and dismantle harmful patriarchy-related constructs, one by one.
9. You are used to doing things alone
A common refrain that you repeat all the time is “Table for one, please.” You go to the cinemas alone, go to amusement parks, and travel solo.
10. You don’t like to share your space with other people
You don’t have to accommodate your boyfriend’s needs and preferences, unlike couples who live together. You don’t have to adapt to anybody or change your habits. You love the fact that you can have an entire queen-sized bed to yourself.
11. You prefer to avoid conflict
Does that mean that most people who prefer to be in a relationship are quarrelsome and hard to please? Not necessarily. Scientific research has shown that there are two kinds of people: those who rank higher in avoidance goals, and those who are more approach goal-orientated.
Psychology expert Yuthika Girme points out that people who are high in approach goals are more likely to face conflicts and confrontations with an open mind as opposed to those who are high in avoidance goals who prefer to stay away from conflicts. On the other hand, those who are higher in avoidance goals are less likely to feel lonely but those with high approach goals may inevitably end up inviting more drama into their day-to-day life.
12. Your friends are all single as well
Birds of the same feather flock together, so friends of the same interests are likely to become close-knitted.
13. You don’t feel lonely at all
Moreover, research has also shown that you will tend to have more friends than married or attached people in general. As people get married, sometimes, they might end up neglecting their friendships in favor of spending time with their beau.
14. You are actively working on yourself
You know that you have some character traits which may turn off a potential partner, or you lack self-esteem. You feel that you need somebody to love you, but ultimately, the only person who can provide you all the care and nurture is yourself. If you find that you actively need to be in a relationship with other people for your emotional wellbeing and happiness, perhaps, it is time to reflect on yourself.
15. You have found a greater calling or purpose
Dating has to take a backseat for now, because you have found your tribe. Could it be possible that you have experienced an awakening or enlightenment in your life, or you are searching for a deeper purpose and meaning in your life? Volunteering in Cambodia or helping the orphans in Uganda? Going on a spiritual retreat to the Bahamas or Maldives?
16. Dating is not on the top of your list of priorities
You are a career-minded go-getter, and you aim to earn your first million before you hit 30. You are ambitious and hungry and you aspire to climb the career ladder, as fast as you can. You might have also much on your plate right now, hence, dating someone belongs at the bottom of your “To-do list”.
17. You do not wish to share your money with someone else
Joint bank accounts? Sharing the mortgage? Co-paying rent and electricity? Well, you are out of luck here, especially if your mantra is: “Your money is your money, my money is my money.” Statistics have shown that couples frequently argue over money matters.
According to Ameriprise, they conducted a survey on couples and money in June/July 2016, and they found that 3 in 10 couples will end up arguing about financial matters at least once every 4 weeks. Major topics revolving around money include Big ticket items(34 percent), disagreement overspending on children and financial purchases(one-quarter of those with kids), arguments over spending patterns(23 percent), and lastly, investment portfolios(14 percent).
Well, if you are secretly a grinch, you dodged a bullet there.
18. You don’t suffer from FOMO
For some of us, FOMO, or “Fear of Missing Out” is a real thing. If you are like me, you don’t suffer from relationship FOMO, but you fear that you will have reverse FOMO. You fear that you will start missing out on singlehood, like solo backpacking expeditions, making plans for Saturday night without taking your partner into consideration, not having to take care of any dependents, etc. Well, let’s just call a spade, a spade. Maybe you are just commitment-phobic, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Quotes On Being Single
Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.
Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.
“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”
If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not from men.
You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.
Spend more time with my friends, I ain’t worried ’bout nothin’. Plus, I met someone else, we havin’ better discussions. I know they say I move on also fast, but this one gon’ last, ’cause her name is Ari and I’m so good with that.
-―Ariana Grande, “thank u, next”
Embracing Self Love
Remember, you have been made whole and complete and you do not need someone else to complete you. You don’t need to find your other half. Even when you find someone you love, two complete people are better than two incomplete people. Before someone else can love you, you have to love yourself first.
Are you still looking for your Mr. Right or are you perfectly happy and content, being a single woman? Remember, true love comes from within.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé