Have an Introverted Man as a Partner?
Introverts are some of the sweetest, most thoughtful souls alive yet it’s hard to understand one because of their more reserved nature. Introverts like to be alone, not because they have crippling social anxiety or anything that dire, they just prefer it this way. It’s how they recharge and rejuvenate. Being with an introverted man can be twice the hustle if you don’t understand him because introverts are on a level of their own and being a man ups the ante.
If you think your man might be introverted but are not sure, he’s a checklist of introverted people, just match it up against your list:-
Prefers time to himself
Your boyfriend prefers to be alone and actually enjoys. It’s his time to rejuvenate and get in touch with his inner him. He engages more in solitude activities like reading, playing video games, crafting, writing e.t.c.
He’s drained by social interactions
He may not be awkward in social gatherings, but you may notice that he’s getting tired easily after a social outing. Because he prefers to be by himself, he’ll spend more energy engaging with people and being present and that is what drains him.
He’s introspective and curious
He’s more the kind of person that works out his plans in his imagination before he executes them. Introverts have a very active inner thought process and tend towards self-reflection and awareness. He like being well prepared and ready for any situation.
He zones out
Not that you’re boring or anything, but sometimes he just disappears somewhere in his mind. He appears not to be present more often than he prefers to wander off when the situation is a bit more stressful than he can handle.
He prefers to keep a small circle of friends
Some people measure the success of their social life by how many friends they have but introverts prefer a more pure quality type of friendship and this means that he’ll be choosy in who he calls friend. To him, less is better as long as the connection is pure.
Introversion is a spectrum and understanding where your partner lies on it is the first step of understanding him. Imagine a scale of 1-10 with 1 being highly introverted and 10 being highly extroverted, the midpoint would imply a person that displays both introvert and extrovert characteristics.
Things That Will Actually Annoy Him
Here are a few things that will annoy him.
1. Pushing him to participate more in extroverted activities
You might think that he’s just bored and he needs to get out more so you push him towards the outdoors activities you’re into and hanging out with your group of friends. This is going to go south quickly for you as nothing annoys an introverted man more than you just assuming his life is boring and thinking going out more will fix it.
2. Treating him like a social cripple
People tend to assume that because a man doesn’t like to go out much, he must be socially awkward. Although some introverted men may be socially awkward, most are not. So, if you tend to treat your man like a toddler learning about feet and balancing for the first time, you can expect that he won’t be a happy camper.
3. Bugging him about verbalizing his feelings
Introverts like their space in every sense of the word and when there’s a problem, he might prefer to sit back first and think it through. Forcing him to be talking out issues as soon as they appear may lead to him pulling back because he literally cannot do this.
4. Spending time together is a must
This one is a bit difficult to navigate because we all want that love and attention from our men but with an introverted guy, you might find that sometimes he puts you at arms-length and just wants his space. Forcing him to spend time or guilt-tripping him into giving you a little more attention will not end well.
5. Holding his hand-metaphorical
You may notice that he takes his time in doing this because he internalizes everything. Assuming his role and just deciding to do his part of the relationship work for him will show him that you don’t think he is capable and if it’s repeated behavior, is something that will truly annoy him.
9 Ways to Show Him that You Love Him
1. Give him space
The biggest thing for an introvert is his space. Sure, he loves you and likes to spend time with you but once in a while, he just wants some space and time alone to recharge. You constantly hovering over him will make him feel drained and he’ll pull away. When you notice he’s keeping to himself, give him a little distance and don’t hover like a mother hen. Let him know that you’re there if he needs you.
2. Get more interested in his activities
Especially if you’re more of an extrovert, try and get a little into the things he’s into and enjoy them. The best way of showing love in any relationship is getting into some partner’s activities and if he sees that you’re not bored with him but rather interested, that’ll bring him closer. Get interested in staying in more and binge-watching Netflix or read his favorite book so you can have something to talk about.
3. Provide an open no-pressure vibe
Introverts love the feeling of spaciousness and that they are not rushed to do anything or make any decisions. It might take a lot of getting used to, not to pull your hair out with the frustration of waiting on him or hovering but constantly providing him with this environment will let him know just how much you care.
4. let him come to you
The theme here is to back off and give him space and a great way to do this is to let him come to you physically and emotionally. All these things take time to learn and get used to but giving him this will make him more comfortable around you and he’ll be more open to you because he’ll imagine you truly get him.
5. Make him feel relaxed enough to be himself
There’s a reason why you’re so into him so show him this reason. Show him that you like him for who he is and that you’re comfortable with who he is. You want him to feel comfortable to open up to you and show you the side of him that others don’t get to see and trust me; the result is worth the sweat.
6. Be patient
You need to learn meditation and yoga or something because, girl, you’re gonna need to husa the shit out of this situation. These gems don’t open up easily, they want to be given space and you’ll feel like he’s pushing you away so learning how to count that breathing and delaying reactions will bring him closer. Just breathe more.
7. Understanding his need to be with friends
He may not have a whole bunch of friends, but he alsok his time in making them and constantly having that reconnection is essential to him. You need to understand this and not act like a jealous little hellion every time he says he’s hanging out with his buddies. Knit or even better reconnect with your own girlfriends.
8. Feed his Intellectual side
If you want to show him how much you love him, then learn the art of feeding his intellectual side. Introverts are mad intellectuals and concert tickets or a gallery opening will have him sidling up to you a little more. The thing here is to connect with his mind and this little effort you put in will go such a long way in being appreciated.
9. Appreciate his efforts
He will most likely try and make an effort in meeting you halfway on your likes because of all the work you’ve been putting in. If he compromises and goes out with you and your friends every once in a while, rather than daily as you’d like, take that and show him that you see the effort he’s putting in and you appreciate him for it.
Dating an introverted can bring you so much pleasure because they hit it on every spot. Emotional support, mental stimulation as well as the physical connection. You need to understand what kind of introvert he is and allowing him to do things at his own pace and just enjoy this time with the man he is, and we have a feeling that you’ll be enjoying yourself!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé