What is a Sex Rut?
Many people consider that sex is not something essential with their partner, but they may think so because they end up immersing themselves in a sexual routine that lowers their desire. The sexual routine is something that can and should be avoided if we do not want our relationship to end up becoming a mere friendship that just calls themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.
Yes, a routine is an option. It does not inevitably appear over the years. The sexual routine is something that the two members of the couple choose; they immerse themselves in it while blaming their years of relationship for this “consequence.”
It is true that after several years our relationship changes. There is greater trust, we know everything good and everything bad about the other person, and the surprise factor is hardly present. Despite all this, that spark that ignited love should not go out and, if it does, it is because you are doing something wrong. Never blame the passage of time or the years. This is something that is entirely your choice.
Does it sound like a day for you to have sex? How long have you been with your partner without enjoying true intimacy? At the beginning of the relationship, this was not that difficult, but rather something natural and emerging.
Common Situations That Lead To A Sex Rut
As if it were something written in regulation, it can take months, or even years, to have sex only on Saturdays, for example. Why? “Well, it’s the day we don’t work; it is when we are most rested; it is when we are calmer, etc.”
In short, that behind a pragmatic logic can also be found to be the excuse that leads you to assign a planned appointment to your intimate encounters in an immovable way.
It is normal that you have preferences, but do not let them transform into rigid norms and outdated customs to which you chain for life. Put exceptions in your life, why don’t you start by changing the stipulated day, or the predetermined time?
Discover the advantages of being able to have meetings with your partner on another day other than the predictable one. You do not have to wait until you are rested to have sex, in fact, sex can become a good alsol to induce a state of relaxation and tranquility. Rest after having done some sex with your partner, you will sleep better and more satisfied.
“Where?; And where am I going to do it if not in bed ?; with the children, we are not going to do it in the living room ”, etc. If you ask yourself these and other similar questions, be careful, because it means that not only have you “gotten used to” without complaining to the same place to have sex, but also, you do not contemplate the possibility of changing it under any circumstances.
First of all, you should start to feel some control over the situation, because otherwise, it will be very difficult for you to consider changing it. First, you want to change it, and then you will struggle to find where. It is not about doing strange things, that you dislike or are excessively complicated. Again, we appeal to common sense, try to incorporate some change in the place that you dedicate to privacy within your preferences.
This factor may be more difficult to detect or recognize because you can fall into the justification of “I am like this”, “I don’t know how to do it any other way”, “after so many years, what are we going to do now in a different way ”. Be careful not to convince yourself of this so that you don’t make an effort to introduce some positive change in relationships.
Throughout the relationship, sex also evolves and passion does not remain stable, and much less if something is not done to maintain it. Boredom can invade the intimate area in the extreme absence of new elements. This does not mean that you have to continually invent sex games, or have sexual practices that are very eccentric. Balance is key.
18 Ways to Get Out of a Sex Rut After Getting Marriage
The same positions, on the same day and almost at the same time! It is logical that monotony and boredom have been installed in your sexual relations, becoming almost a mechanical act. We will now give you simple, practical, and totally effective ideas to get out of the routine and fully enjoy your sexual life again.
Sex Rut And Childless
Keeping the passion alive is one of the keys to making a couple of work. Of course affection, friendship, understanding … cannot be lacking, but awakening the sexual desire between you is essential to maintain a full relationship.
How to avoid it falling into the dreaded sex Rut? Try to surprise them with a little imagination and leaving aside inhibitions and conventions.
On Saturdays, after the movie, in your bed and with your winter pajamas on… the situation can become very unromantic and less exciting. How about putting any of these ideas into practice? Keep reading:
A very special night awaits them and for this, you notify him by phone, e-mail, or SMS with a risque message that causes unexpected thoughts and a complete lack of concentration at their job. Technology is on your side, so use it; if necessary, send them several mysterious messages and make them discover little by little what is coming. They will get home unusually early.
2. Blind date
Surprise them with a romantic getaway to a destination that they do not know. It can also be worth one night in a hotel in your city where a delicious bubble bath and a table full of aphrodisiac delicacies await you. That will only be the beginning of better sex life.
3. Go straight to dessert
It’s about breaking the routine, so sometimes, have no dinner and just go straight to the bedroom. Receive them at home with a sexy outfit and once they have seen you, blindfold them and explain the benefits of having fruit before meals, how about some strawberries with chocolate? That you help them eat them will also be more sensual.
Changing the place or environment in which you normally have sex is simple and gives excellent results. Discovering the possibilities of other rooms in the house will be fun. Also, a soft carpet, strategic and comfortable cushions, a mirror where you see yourself reflected or a bedroom with scented candles and an improvised canopy on your bed will make you relive the story of “One Thousand and One Nights.”
5. Go shopping
Shopping is not fun for everyone, but what about discovering what you are going to visit is a sex shop? Gets much more interesting right? Very particular “board” games, oils for sensual massages, edible underwear, erotic toys await fro you there, so have a little sexy shopping spree, and then you have to try all your new goodies.
6. Don’t rush
A sexual relationship cannot be a mechanical and boring act. The preliminaries are very essential when it comes to awakening the libido. Take your time. Kisses and caresses, especially in the erogenous zones and slow head-to-toe massages will make you rediscover your partner’s body and enjoy full relationships. It is also a good time to talk about what you like the most or want with total confidence and to try other positions that you both find pleasant. The limits are set by you.
7. Have some humour
A sense of humor always comes in handy and is not incompatible with a night full of eroticism. A particular striptease, a dance by candlelight but without clothes, the game of questions and whoever loses takes off a garment, a dinner that must be attended in a sure dress code or theme… it is about enjoying and not allowing monotony to be installed in your relationship. Have fun with it!
8. Self explore
Ask your partner to masturbate in front of you, with two goals. First and foremost, for you to learn. and second, for the exciting viewing experience. Observe very carefully and ask him or her to tell you which parts are most sensitive to them.
It is also good to talk about the parts of the bodies that like to be caressed, kissed, and stimulated. Remember that pre-intercourse games can make the difference between just a pleasant experience and a totally enjoyable one.
What if instead of going out to where you always go every end of the month you decide to stay home and prepare a romantic dinner at home? What if you play Strip-Poker? What if you give them a good morning tomorrow by waking them up with a well-needed dose of sex? What if you text them when he’s at work telling him how much you wish they were in your bed right now? Innovating in your sex life is key.
Sex Rut And With Kids
A life with children forces us to follow a sure order so as not to get lost in the chaos, but it is also essential that there are exceptions and time for intimacy with your parent, which is the spice of life and your relationship. Here are some tips so that you can balance being parents and having a healthy sex life in this situations:
10. Take time for your partner
Spending time with your partner is an essential factor so that you are not only a mother and father but a full-fledged couple. From time to time it is not a bad thing to ask the family to spend some time with the children so that Mom and Dad can spend a few moments alone: go for a walk, go to dinner, have some sexy time, of course … It will strengthen the relationship.
The dialogue between the partners of a couple is very essential to be able to address problems or situations with which one or both of them do not feel comfortable.
If sexual life is not full or we would like to change something about it, it is best to speak it with confidence and a positive attitude to seek balance and mutual satisfaction. Falling into a routine is easy, especially if we take into account the hectic pace of day today and the accumulation of tasks that we all have, however, taking care of the couple’s relationship and avoiding laziness or boredom is essential for a happier and more united relationship. How? Again, by talking it out and expressing it between the two of you.
12. Distribute obligations fairly
If there is not a sense of balance and team, one of the two members of the couple will end up exhausted and without sexual desire. And, furthermore, angry for not feeling supported, thus further blocking the possibility of intimacy. The key is to talk, to distribute the new obligations that the children carry, and to know what each one will take care of so that we can also thank the other for their support.
13. Use your mind
It is a matter of focusing attention on desire, with the help of your partner. Make our minds not only on obligations and responsibilities.
Something that we must also be clear about is that we are models for our children and for the way in which they will relate in the future, therefore, the better the relationship we have with our partner, the better that of our children will be in the future and more skills they will acquire.
14. Be more than just parents
Not less essential, is not to forget that being a mother or father does not mean ceasing to be a woman, a man, and a couple. A role does not invalidate the rest nor does it have to invade all spheres of the person. Nothing happens because for a few hours you leave your child in the care of someone else and invest time in yourself and your partner.
15. Get used to quickies
In these cases of extreme exhaustion, the best way to go is always a quickie. You will be surprised to find out how miraculous a quick one can be, what great effects it has on relaxation and sleep. A short and effective one is better than a marathon one that leaves you worse than you started.
When there is a child around the house, the bathroom is the best place to have quick sex. While the dwarves are safe playing in their room, reading a story, doing homework, or watching TV, you can indulge in a quickie in the shower, in the sink, or in the toilet bowl. The bathroom gives so many options that it will become your favorite place in your home.
Sex is like running: if you stop it suddenly, then it is very difficult to get back into the rhythm. You have to take it back little by little, motivating yourself in some way until you get back to the rhythm you had before. In this case, sex toys are the best option. They are great, quick, and they come in handy in situations where you need good pleasure in little time. Yes, in seconds, an exhausted mother’s mind becomes a happy and pleased one!
18. Make a weekly appointment
As a couple, it helps to force yourself to do something alone at least once a week. Set a day and mark it on the agenda with fluorescent light: dinner and sex. It sounds cold, but it is effective.
If you just let it be, to which you realize, you will not go out together for a while for three years. And that’s hemlock for relationships. You have to work a little to maintain the desire, not let it go completely. Dating and having conversations without children, going on trips without them, adult talks without talking about schools, nurseries, or diapers. Time for adults only.
With 18 ways to get out of sex rut, there is no excuse to not prioritize your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Rekindle your relationship now put an end to the sex rut now!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé