The practice of saving a troubled relationship is something very rare nowadays, as more and more couples are readily willing to get separated or divorced. They do not work on how to manage and tackle their disputes and instead focus on ending their relationship. Quitting is easy, but it comes with its heavy burden that can destroy you emotionally.
In this article, I will discuss the possibilities through which you can save your relationship with your husband. We will detect the reasons that lead to ugly thoughts that make you hate your man. And after exploring them, we will work on how to contain them and address them. I will help you out for sure so that, you develop healthier feelings towards your husband and your married life does not suffer. Help! I Hate My Husband But I Want To Save Our Marriage – let’s see what you need to do.
Why Do I Feel This Way About My Husband?
Having bad feelings about someone is quite natural, but during that course, you need to see how these feelings alsok birth. There can be several reasons for this. The very first thing that you need to do is take out time and do some introspection. What you need to ask yourself is:
Are there any good feelings also, towards my husband? Do I feel that he makes me feel protected and loved? Is he taking good care of my needs? Is his attitude kind towards me?
You will find some positive answers to the questions that I have shared. Try to cultivate positive thoughts and your mind will be all set to absorb the good stuff. By doing this, you will learn how to overcome negativity with positivity – even if it is in very little quantity.
According to relationship experts, having ugly feelings doesn’t signify that you hate your husband to the core. These ugly feelings might hide any sort of rejection, disappointment, or unhappiness. Once you are unable to take these feelings out in the right manner, the process of empathy gets difficult; you get confused and start hating your husband. This arouses due to some serious miscommunication.
What you need to do is find out the real reasons behind your ugly feelings and work on how it has become challenging for you to put them forward. Once you are somewhat clear about the origin of your feelings, it will get easier to fix them. Have a deeper look at the root cause of every ugly feeling that makes you hate your husband. That will eventually help head towards a fulfilling relationship with your husband, instead of creating misunderstandings and messing everything up.
What Can I Do To Resolve These Feelings?
Resolving negative feelings is a real task. Here, I will share the most practical and powerful methods through which you can turn hate into love.
Things I Can Do To Unpack, Monitor, And Find Solutions For My Feelings
First of all, tell your partner that you need to talk – before discussing the issue with your friend or any family member. It is something between you and your husband so deal with it accordingly. Choose a peaceful time so that, you can sit together and have a lengthy discussion. Pour your heart out. Let your emotions find their way out in a logical manner.
Bring forward the harmful emotional impact that his behavior has on you. You can say it like this: your comments/behavior make me feel undesirable, unattractive, hurt, insecure, angry, etc. Keep it simple. Let your husband find a suitable moment to reply to you. Look for his answers and you will know if his attitude was intentional or unintentional
After this step, you need to request him to change his behavior towards you. Cause you cannot afford to feel like this. You have spoken your heart and mind out and he needs to put in some considerable effort also. Tell him how serious it is for you and him and your marriage. Try to find solutions together.
In case your husband doesn’t change, even after listening to your concerns make the final move and ask him how he sees everything between you two in the future. He might get defensive, but you must stay calm. See what suggestions he has for rescuing the relationship. Is there any matter that is disturbing him and making him upset that leads to such cold behavior?
Things My Husband And I Can Do To Improve Our Relationship
If you are on the same page, that is ready to discuss, listen, and rectify every issue things will start getting better. Discuss all those steps that need to be taken from you and his side to have a happy home. Here, you cannot throw the entire weight on the shoulders of your partner, as you will also need to make several changes also. Understand his feelings also that prevents him from being intimate. Start from small steps that you guys can take together so that the issue can be resolved.
Check your efforts regularly. So that both of you are consistently working on them. Appreciate any sort of changes that he brings in his behavior and tell him how much better you feel now. Also, ask him if you are doing up to the mark or not? Let things go with the flow. Keep on changing for better and strengthen your bond to the fullest. It will take a few weeks to feel better so do not get impatient
As you guys live at the same place. It is essential to share your chores. Do not let your husband feel like he is doing it all and you are just vacuuming the lounge. Lend a helping hand whenever and wherever required. Make him feel that you care and share the responsibility of this relationship. It will eventually make him happy and your bond will be fortified.
Plan a vacation together. Take some time off from your busy routine. And you are not taking any friends or family together. It is just going to be you and him. The idea is to spend as much time as possible with each other without someone interrupting your peace and personal time. During this time discuss everything that you guys have missed about each other. Keep it simple and jolly. You are on vacation so there is no need to complain or feel bad. Ignite that lost romance and let the good energy engulf your marriage
Your good times should not be limited to vacations only. It is unjustified. Why do not you do on a date with your husband and surprise him with some cool dinner and a nice gift? I am sure he would reciprocate and equally love this gesture of yours. Keep the romance alive.
Should I/We Consider Therapy/Counseling?
Yes! There is no harm in opting for counseling or a therapy session. According to professional therapists, feelings of hate fade away after some time, as they are replaced with other feelings. In case, such feelings do not get replaced then it is about time that you work together to resolve your issues. Feeling trapped with someone whom you do not like can easily lead to hate, anger, and resentment. So do not make your mind the breeding ground of such feelings. Talk to your therapist, make sure you find a trustworthy person for this reason, and figure out what needs to be done. Relationships can be mended easily through consideration, compromise, care, and love – if projected from both sides
So you got the Help! I Hate My Husband But I Want To Save Our Marriage. Listen, it is not a one-sided story. You will need to work also, but if it is only you who is putting in all the effort and still getting nothing in return then you must decide about your future.
But this article was focused on the concept of saving a relationship. I have given the best suggestions and kept it all quite clear. I hope that by now you know how to manage your feelings and work with your husband to save your marriage. It might be tough, but it isn’t impossible so hang in there and you will be thankful!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé