How Is It Like To Be In A Relationship With A Narcissist?
What is love? Listen to yourself describe bliss, merry, fondness, and familiarity. Anyway, no one loves expecting tears, heartbreak, and sadness.
Everyone needs to understand that love can build up and tear down souls the same way a hammer can build a house or smack it down. Therefore, if the vibe you get from your union is short of self-appreciation, self-confidence, and sacrifice, check out for a narcissistic soul mate.
Being in a narcissistic union at first makes you think that the heavens listen to you. Your lover turns out to walk straight out of your dreams. The charisma and attention they show you will sweep you off your feet.
Don’t you ever want a partner that idealize and gush over you? Well, a narcissistic partner can fool you with all your romantic fantasies. Before long, you will be the one wearing out to feed their thirst for affection, and sweat trying to wash away their insecurities.
You then punish and blame yourself for their perfections and your failures. The union loses its authenticity because you will seize being your partner’s equal. Your lover will bring you down and make you exalt them instead.
Is My Partner Manipulating Me? How Do I Know?
So, how can you make out if you are in a union with a narcissist? The warning signals to look out for are many, just that they might not be also evident to pick.
However, not all signs you pick from your relationship may reflect narcissism. It could be the normal relationship hiccup. What defines narcissism is if your partner continuously lacks the empathy to understand how they put you down.
Anyway, here is how you can know:
Such a mate leaves the relationship and hits you ten times before they actually do it. They use threats to make you feel powerless and cling unto them.
A narcissist can exploit your dark moments and use them to their advantage. They dig up ‘dirt’ and use it as a weapon to attack and pin you down. They’ll use it as a reference and go scot-free of their misdoings and use allegations on you to make them feel better about their shortcomings.
You then feel at fault and end up apologizing for their misdoings.
Your partner will believe in his/her uniqueness, and make you think that they are special. For instance, they act as if their needs are more significant than yours. You might go out of your way for them, but they won’t return the gesture.
They Are Above The Rules
Public rules, as well as the ones you both set in your union, never apply to them. They break the rules and act as if they can be exempted from them. It could be as little as not bothering to give you morning and bedtime kisses.
Send Mixed Signals
This person can make you yearn for the affection, and they’ll measure it to you when they see fit. They’ll gush over you this moment and go cold the next. Unsurprisingly, they do this when they want a favor.
They know how to get into you and leave you wanting more, whether that means flirty complements at the correct time.
You will try to measure up to their status because they will make you feel lucky to interact with them. Stay alert if you start thinking that you are useless without them.
They Inflate Perfectionism
Such a partner is in love with their appearance and annoys by trying to find your response about how they are. Poor you! You’ll stay around to listen to their success stories and force yourself to laugh with them when they ridicule others for failing.
Such a sadist can make you sugarcoat everything they do because their truth is devastating.
15 Common Phrases A Narcissist Says And What She/ He Really Means
1. I Love You
It is the undoing for most individuals. Instead of being so sweet and heavenly, it translates to your lover owning you and loving how much they control and use you.
You will blindly open up to them, forgive their mistakes, and trust them just for them to feel the bliss of shoving you off the cliff, again.
2. Stop Overreacting
Whatever your lover sees in your regular outbursts against their load of disrespect is that you are getting things out of proportion. This statement makes you second-guess and doubt your complaints.
3. It’s Not Always About You
What else can make you think that you are selfish? They’ll use this phrase to remind you who is the real center of concern in your union.
4. No One Will Love You As I Do
They use this to block you from discovering your worth and ensure you don’t seek happiness in someone that deserves you.
5. No One Will Believe You
They make you feel alone after convincing you that no one can listen to your ranting about their mistreatment.
6. I Miss You
They want you to miss your hay days, and disrupt the haven you have created for yourself after you separated. You will go back, crawling into their dark hearts.
7. We Should Remain Friends
Your lover doesn’t want to lose their touch on you. Therefore, they use this phrase to keep you around in case they need to use you someday.
8. You Have Trust Issues
There again, another sentence to make you lose trust in yourself. Your lover will use it to make you drop your gut feeling and get away with untrustworthiness.
9. Are You Jealous?
Another way to make you stop questioning your self-worth and allow him to enjoy watching you compete for his attention and make him desirable.
10. She/ He Is Just a Friend
Of course, they’ll succeed in making you feel guilty for coming between “friendships.”
11. You Are Crazy
They love how they provoke you and call you out for acting out just to silence you.
12. I’m Sorry
They’ll get you to stop ranting if they make you believe that they are dejected.
13. I’m Afraid To Lose You
This will make you feel essential enough to stay with them, regardless.
14. My Mom Was Right About You
How else can they make you grateful for reminding you that they were regret believing in you when everyone didn’t?
15. I Know What You Are Thinking
If they make you think that they empathize with you, you will let go of your thoughts.
How Do I Take Care Of My Well-Being?
Write down your thoughts and feelings- You might notice unhealthy patterns and plan for a change.
Bond with your supportive family and friends again.
Do the hobbies you used to love.
Take time-out alone to rethink
Find your worth by being kind to yourself.
Is It Time To Let Go?
Be glad that you have managed to reach this point because it is the hardest thing you will ever do. You don’t have to stay and wait for a black eye or a busted lip to let go of such a draining union.
It is time to let go when you start setting boundaries with your partner to reclaim your power. Begin by openly discussing with them your expectations and raise concerns without fear. Remind them what is off the table, what is okay to do, and what you don’t see fit.
Remember to stick to your version of love, and hold out for it. Avoid getting distracted by lies and substitutes for the love they’ll sell to you. Don’t settle for anything less!
If they can’t live up to these reasonable expectations, go and seek true love. Reach out to someone who can offer the support you need until you are on your feet again.
Never forget that such sad souls have images in their minds that they want and need to be happy. They will stop at nothing to realize it.
Sadly, to detect such a person requires that you listen to their deeds more than their words. Check out for such personality and save yourself, because they can be cruel and vindictive when they feel threatened or don’t get what they want.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé