Experts say that couples who have more sex are happier than those who don’t. This meant at least one time a week, according to statistics which we will tackle later on. Therefore, the standard baseline is sex once a week for married couples to be happy.
But there’s so much more to sex in a marriage than just the frequency. We will be looking at the whole concept, so do read on.
Statistics on the frequency of sex among married couples
The stress of modern life, with its never-ending climb while on a hamster wheel, could significantly impact one’s sexual desire. There is also the presence of medications that could yield a decrease in libido. Kids and technology are other factors that affect the frequency of sex, such as the master’s bedroom being also close to the kid’s room or being swooped into the vortex of social media.
Now, the number of sex married couples have in a week does not automatically define or gauge their happiness levels. Some only have sex once a week, and some do it every day – yet both are satisfied with their relationships. According to Dr Logan Levkoff, a doctor in human sexuality, marriage and family life education, there is no “normal” or “prescribed” number of sex married couples should be having. All relationships are different, and “normal” is highly subjective to each married pair.
Based on the numbers, however, an average adult is said to have sex 54 times a year, or approximately once a week. Another study of about 30,000 Americans over 40 years states that couples that have sex more than once a week were not happier or more fulfilled than those who had sex only once a week. With that said, once a week is a number that most married couples abide by and having more sex does not automatically mean more happiness.
7 Ways to Boost Sex Between Married Couples
If you feel like your married sex life is dwindling to nothingness, and it’s starting to cause friction or issues with your relationship, fret not, there are many ways to rekindle that spark. You’d be surprised how simple the tips are and yet could completely transform your marriage.
Couples without kids
Couples with kids often think those without the little rascals have more time and opportunity to have steamy sex, but that’s not always the case. There are many reasons why a couple without children don’t frequently have sex. Below are some ideas for those who want to boost their sex life without children involved.
Go on a second honeymoon
No kids mean it’s easier to drop everything and take a vacation or a second honeymoon. There are times when we need to be in a different environment to go back to how things were sexually when you and your partner first met.
Wear that bikini, have drinks at the beach, and be reminded how much you and your partner love each other and have grown in the relationship.
Talk about sexual fantasies and fulfill them
Ever wanted to try some kinky stuff at a nude beach or perhaps join the mile high club? No kids mean you can have sex in every corner of the house. Jot down your wildest sex fantasies and treat it like a bucket list where you and your spouse work at going through the items. These may be crazy positions, role-playing with customs, seeing your wife in sexy lingerie or doing a strip-tease – literally any fantasy that you have.
As a result, watch your sex life take a big breathe of fresh air and your relationship get closer and stronger.
The sex toy market is booming for a reason – there is always a demand for it. And the beautiful thing with technology and the sex industry is that there will always be new models, new types, more exciting sex toys for you to try.
If you’ve never tried sex toys before, you can go for the simple ones like a vibrator or dildo to ease you into that whole new world. You might discover you have a dormant BDSM urge and could go all out with your spouse by creating a playroom.
Sexual dysfunctions shouldn’t hinder a great sex life
Whether it’s erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or a lack of libido that leads to the vagina not getting adequately lubricated, a medical diagnosis should not get in the way of a couple’s sex life. The first step is to accept the fact that it is OK for the body to not perform in the way you expect it to. Second, have sex in so many other ways that don’t need an erect penis or wet vagina. There are so many alternatives to pleasuring your loved one which have the same effect in bringing more intimacy to the relationship.
Couple with kids
It might be tricky, but not impossible. Even parents with infants or toddlers could still enjoy some sexy time and don’t have to compromise this aspect of their lives just because society says kids need all their attention.
Don’t assume your spouse is uninterested
Your spouse might be tired after a long day at work or a whole day chasing the kids, but this doesn’t automatically mean he or she isn’t up for some making love under the sheets. If you are feeling in the mood and you look at your partner who’s about ready for bed, nothing is stopping you from initiating something to happen. A little dirty talk, a kiss here and there, and chances are, you won’t get turned down.
Plan trips to “Costco” and have a sex date
It might seem tacky or even disappointing that it has come to this, but getting away from the kids, even for a short while, needs planning. You could even make “Costco” your signal that you want to get out of the house, maybe book a hotel room or a few hours, and have some fantastic sex. The feeling of doing something behind your kids’ backs adds some excitement to the whole thing, which could make both you and your partner hornier.
Get a baby sitter and plan sex outside
If “Costco” needs to last longer, then get a babysitter and plan a sex date. For couples with kids, sex needs to be planned. But don’t assume that this will make it mundane and repetitive. Treat it like a vacation and plan.
Book the kids on playdates, send them over to their grandparents or any other way to get the house all to yourselves. However, it might be better to get out of the house to avoid the trap of walking around on sweatpants all day and taking afternoon naps instead.
By planning the details of your sex vacation, you and your partner could explore and even check some items off your bucket list of sexual fantasies. When it’s time for that moment, don’t forget to get out of your head and let your body do all the thinking and responding. Take out the candles, massage oil and rose petals and put on some slow music to help you forget everything else and just focus on the now with your loved one.
Sex in marriage is continuously fluctuating based on availability, energy and mood. There might be days when you and your partner would rather sleep than get horny. But one essential thing to remember is that although the quantity of sex in a marriage might decrease through time, the quality should continuously increase. You and your partner should grow, become more comfortable with one another and reach new levels of intimacy and vulnerability.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé