If you’re in the mood to spice up your sex life, you’ve come to the right page. Because who said candles could only be used to light up a dark room – it could also bring back the spark to you and your partner’s sensuality.
This post will give you the rundown on BDSM (yes, it’s shelved in this category) wax play. From the proper materials to use, the right height to drip the wax, and the tips and tricks to make things even more exciting – the goal is to transform the everyday reader with doubts and apprehensions to a guru on the topic.
Candle and Sex: What is the Link
For the parents out there, don’t feel like a hypocrite because you’ve warned the kids never to play with candles and fire, then you go off doing just that. Well, they don’t need to know. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom (wink wink).
First things first, the wax play has some risks involved, and if you don’t like your sex to be literally and figuratively hot, steamy, and messy, then this might not be for you.
Candles and sex have been long-going partners. Candles not only encourage and set the mood, they also can be used on the real fun. The dim and flickering lights of a candle definitely make the ambiance more intimate and cozy. A candlelit dinner is one of the top contenders for a romantic date. Humans have started associating candles inside the bedroom and not merely to set the tone of atmosphere but as a prop in lovemaking.
Before you go out to buy some candles, let’s go through the list of safety precautions and tips and tricks to ensure you and your partner have a tantalizing wax play experience.
– The environment. Fire is an uncontrollable element; therefore, it is best to set up a safe area to play indefinitely away from anything flammable. Put aside tissues and hair products, and keep an eye out for the bedsheets, lingerie, and curtains.
– The candle. Here’s where we learn something new: many types of candles are made, not just to light up a room. Go for the ones intended for wax play.
– The mess. Wax is tough to clean up, and some pre-play preparations will save you the headache of violently scrubbing after the fun. You might have old sheets, towels, or a blanket that you could allocate for wax play. Unused puppy pads also do the trick.
– The baby oil. It’s not only on the surroundings that the wax will drip onto – your body is the target after all. Imagine the pain of removing wax on areas with body hair. Experts recommend rubbing your bodies with baby oil to make wax removal much more manageable.
– The test. Each person has a different pain tolerance level, and testing each partner’s level beforehand on the wrist will ensure the success of your wax play.
– The aftercare. When the fun and heat are over, remember to add some moisturizing cream or aloe vera to the parts of the body that made contact with the wax.
Soy Candle vs Regular Candle
Without further ado, let’s scrutinize the main component of wax play – the candles. Do not go to the decorative area of a shopping mall and pick out colorful candles. Massage candles, which could be found online or in aromatherapy shops, burn at a super low temperature and would not burn or cause pain at all.
These types of candles usually come in bland, neutral colors, aren’t scented or mixed with all kinds of chemicals, all of which help in making the candle harmless and perfect for wax play. The more additives there are in a candle, the hotter the wax will be.
Safety candles or massage candles are quite soft. You could even just rub one between your fingers, and they begin to melt. The softer the candle, the lower it’s melting point – meaning it won’t be also hot when it lands on someone’s body.
The safest candle among them all are soy candles because they cool the fastest upon contact and are less likely to cause any irritation. Paraffin candles are another type of candles that could be used, although these have a higher melting point and are perfect for those who are into more intense wax play.
Soy candles melt around 54 °C (130 °F) and are the best option for beginners to wax play. The wax of soy candles is so soft it cannot be formed into pillars and usually come in glass pots. The only downside of soy candles is that its soft consistency makes it a bit more challenging to clean up.
Paraffin candles, on the other hand, melt at around 57 °C (135 °F) and can be formed into pillars because of their thicker wax consistency. This type of candle is also easier to clean up, although it typically leaves a blush tone on the skin after contact, much like the effect of a hot shower or bath.
The candles to avoid are those with beeswax in the ingredients or any candle without a specific list of ingredients stated in the packaging. Dyed, scented, and metallic candles are a few more examples of candles to avoid. Stearin, an additive that is commonly used in candles and soap making to make the material harder and sturdier, is another ingredient to look out for and avoid.
Candles to try
Unscented Wax Pillar Candle
Kissable Massage Oil Candle
7 Reasons Why You Should Try Out Wax Play
1. It’s something new
Wax play is something new to those who are used to vanilla sex. You get to discover so much about you and your partner just by trying this activity.
2. It builds trust
As the receiver of the sensation, you are putting trust in your partner not to hurt you or cause pain. You are leaving it to your partner to lift the candle high enough (no less than 18 inches) and let the wax drip onto your body safely. The anticipation and vulnerability add to the sensuality.
3. It requires creativity
What to do with the wax dripping? Do you just let it fall? No. Feel free to experiment and adapt to what brings out a moan from your partner. Others like the slow drip, drip, drip of the candle wax, while others like it a bit rougher and prefer the splashing sensation.
You could also treat your partner’s back as an empty canvass and drizzle the wax into different shapes and patterns. Sensually use your fingers to finalize your masterpiece.
Just because the wax has cooled off doesn’t mean the game’s over. In fact, you can run ice cubes over the dried wax or tap on them and peel them off for more pleasure.
4. It leaves the partners closer together
This added activity of wax play into sex brings partners closer together because neither jumps into actual penetration but takes their time exploring and teasing each other’s’ senses in a way that the typical foreplay could never achieve.
5. It opens doors
Wax play isn’t the only activity that partners can engage in to spice up sexy time. After wax play, you and your partner could be more intrigued by the idea of using props during sex, and together, you step into a whole new world.
6. It feels good
One will never know the actual feeling of having wax dripped on you during sex until it’s been personally tried and tested. The bottom line is, it feels good. Your senses are heightened and teased in a way that makes climax even more satisfying.
7. It strengthens the relationship
Engaging in an activity such as wax play during your most intimate moments with your partners is like an exercise that strengthens the relationship. The whole experience provides learnings that require each partner’s participation. When done, these things make the couple feel closer and stronger together.
You Can Still Use a Candle for Aromatherapy if You Don’t Enjoy Wax Play!
If the long description above didn’t convince you to give wax play a try, don’t worry, you can still continue using the candle for its initial purpose – aromatherapy! Then perhaps in the future, as you gaze into the flickering candlelight after some sexy time, the idea would pop into your head once more, and you would be more prepared to give wax play a try.
It may seem daunting at first, but those that tried out wax play didn’t regret their decision. If you’re at a point in your relationship where a routine is being established under the covers, it may be time to try something new. And as long as wax play is done safely, this might be the “new” you and your partner are looking for. Here’s to keeping the flame of romance alive!
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé